ffarl is absolutely right, our responses to something like this are generally reflections of our own experiences with alcoholism and its consequences.
Yes, we ALL make stupid mistakes, bad choices--some of the ones I made when I was younger, well it was sheer luck that they did not result in disastrous consequences.
My own experiences with alcoholism are long and varied. I had an alcoholic father, but he was not the "typical" alcoholic (if there truly is such a thing). He worked hard, never missed a day of work, always came home on time, fixed dinner (he was the main cook in the family, not my mom), and was never, ever violent or loud or argumentative--in fact, he was at the opposite extreme. He simply came home, filled a glass about halfway with water and the rest with bourbon…and then dispensed with the water the rest of the evening, until he finally stumbled off to bed moments before he passed out.
He was also my hero, so seeing his alcoholism as a "bad" thing was always hard for me. He definitely drove drunk on occasion, I'm sure--as has been mentioned, back then, just about everyone who drank did it, sometimes. Thankfully, he never had an accident.
He quit at the age of about 70. Cold Turkey. I'll never understand how. But I'll be forever grateful for that next decade I had with him, seeing who he really was without the alcohol, seeing him love on my kids and how they adored him.
My own path could have gone much the same way. At 20, I liked to drink. A lot. And drive my car fast. I started drinking even when I was alone. But, luckily, I *got* it that I was on a dangerous path and I made the decision to quit before tragedy happened. I didn't drink again for over 20 years. I've since discovered that I am NOT an alcoholic--I do have some other addictive tendencies I have to watch carefully, but for some reason, thankfully, alcohol and drugs are not temptations to me. Therefore, I *can*, easily, enjoy a glass of wine or two, or a margarita once in a while, and not feel compelled to keep drinking. But I have empathy with those who have that struggle.
However, I also have the experience of knowing that I could easily have lost my oldest son to a drunk driver. He was hit from behind by a third-time DUI driver, when he'd been driving just over a year (my son, not the other driver). It totaled his car, but I truly believe if he'd been driving the smaller, newer car *I* had at the time, he'd have been far more seriously injured, or dead. She hit him going at least 65 mph in a 45 zone, while he was stopped at a turn signal.
The car that was totaled, was his "baby"--it was old, 23 years old--but it had belonged to my father, and my son loved that car because of that connection. It was taken away from him forever.
He also very nearly didn't make his Eagle rank in Scouts because of that accident. He began having some chest pains, and passing out. He was put on very restricted physical activity, which meant he couldn't do the work he needed to get done on some of the merit badges he had left. He was finally cleared to do them and managed to get everything done and his paperwork turned in ONE day before his 18th birthday (the deadline to make Eagle rank).
When the woman was finally tried, over two years later, because of a technicality, she could only be tried as a 1st-time DUI, which infuriated me. However, I did get a chance to stand up in court and tell her and the judge exactly what the accident had cost us, beyond just medical bills and replacing a car. It was my fervent hope, not that it made her FEEL bad, but that it woke her up and made her realize that she could just as easily have been sitting there charged with vehicular homicide, and that she could not afford to ever take that risk with other people's lives again.
Unfortunately, for her, I doubt she got that message. Because she was high at the time.
The prosecuting attorney agree to a 2-week jail sentence (time already served) on the condition that she take a drug test, to prove that the counseling/rehab she claimed she was doing was helping. Her attorney then had to admit, in court, "Your honor, my client couldn't pass a drug test right now."
She got six months instead.
OP: Please, please, please, get help. AA, rehab, whatever it takes. PLEASE…do NOT risk being the one who ends up taking someone's son or daughter away from them, or taking a young person's mother or father away from them.
Change your life before you destroy someone else's.
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