Went to jail

[mmaria]

Why don't you consider picking up your camera instead of the bottle?

Because, I quote: " 2001 he ruptured the inter-vertebral disc between L4 and L3.

It is not an excuse but, it is why...."


He's just not ready to face himself and admit, and he's still looking for excuses.


(mods feel free to delete this comment)

 

[DarkShadow]

Why don't you consider picking up your camera instead of the bottle?

Easier said then done but yea its a great Idea. Look a CoastalConn that stopped drinking and picked up a camera and look at the amazing skill today.I am honored to be one to see his amazing wildlife work and know him as a TPF member. I rather do curls with my camera then a bottle any day and its a healthy addiction.

 

[Tiller]

Good luck with trying to quit. I have no experience with alcoholism of any sort, but we all make dumb mistakes. Accept the consequences, and move on.

 

[ffarl]

We've all made stupid decisions. If someone drinks enough to blow a 2.-something 8 hours later, they are far beyond the realm of "Bad Decisions". They are in the grips of something tougher than most of us have ever dealt with, and are in need of help. I hope that this motivates you to get the help you need. Peoples' comments in this thread reflect their own experiences with alcoholism, be it first hand or otherwise. I hope you'll read their passion as a testament to how much further down the spiral one can go than where you are now. It sounds like there's still time to get it together before all of your decisions are made for you.

 

[sm4him]

ffarl is absolutely right, our responses to something like this are generally reflections of our own experiences with alcoholism and its consequences.
Yes, we ALL make stupid mistakes, bad choices--some of the ones I made when I was younger, well it was sheer luck that they did not result in disastrous consequences.

My own experiences with alcoholism are long and varied. I had an alcoholic father, but he was not the "typical" alcoholic (if there truly is such a thing). He worked hard, never missed a day of work, always came home on time, fixed dinner (he was the main cook in the family, not my mom), and was never, ever violent or loud or argumentative--in fact, he was at the opposite extreme. He simply came home, filled a glass about halfway with water and the rest with bourbon…and then dispensed with the water the rest of the evening, until he finally stumbled off to bed moments before he passed out.
He was also my hero, so seeing his alcoholism as a "bad" thing was always hard for me. He definitely drove drunk on occasion, I'm sure--as has been mentioned, back then, just about everyone who drank did it, sometimes. Thankfully, he never had an accident.
He quit at the age of about 70. Cold Turkey. I'll never understand how. But I'll be forever grateful for that next decade I had with him, seeing who he really was without the alcohol, seeing him love on my kids and how they adored him.

My own path could have gone much the same way. At 20, I liked to drink. A lot. And drive my car fast. I started drinking even when I was alone. But, luckily, I *got* it that I was on a dangerous path and I made the decision to quit before tragedy happened. I didn't drink again for over 20 years. I've since discovered that I am NOT an alcoholic--I do have some other addictive tendencies I have to watch carefully, but for some reason, thankfully, alcohol and drugs are not temptations to me. Therefore, I *can*, easily, enjoy a glass of wine or two, or a margarita once in a while, and not feel compelled to keep drinking. But I have empathy with those who have that struggle.

However, I also have the experience of knowing that I could easily have lost my oldest son to a drunk driver. He was hit from behind by a third-time DUI driver, when he'd been driving just over a year (my son, not the other driver). It totaled his car, but I truly believe if he'd been driving the smaller, newer car *I* had at the time, he'd have been far more seriously injured, or dead. She hit him going at least 65 mph in a 45 zone, while he was stopped at a turn signal.
The car that was totaled, was his "baby"--it was old, 23 years old--but it had belonged to my father, and my son loved that car because of that connection. It was taken away from him forever.
He also very nearly didn't make his Eagle rank in Scouts because of that accident. He began having some chest pains, and passing out. He was put on very restricted physical activity, which meant he couldn't do the work he needed to get done on some of the merit badges he had left. He was finally cleared to do them and managed to get everything done and his paperwork turned in ONE day before his 18th birthday (the deadline to make Eagle rank).

When the woman was finally tried, over two years later, because of a technicality, she could only be tried as a 1st-time DUI, which infuriated me. However, I did get a chance to stand up in court and tell her and the judge exactly what the accident had cost us, beyond just medical bills and replacing a car. It was my fervent hope, not that it made her FEEL bad, but that it woke her up and made her realize that she could just as easily have been sitting there charged with vehicular homicide, and that she could not afford to ever take that risk with other people's lives again.
Unfortunately, for her, I doubt she got that message. Because she was high at the time.
The prosecuting attorney agree to a 2-week jail sentence (time already served) on the condition that she take a drug test, to prove that the counseling/rehab she claimed she was doing was helping. Her attorney then had to admit, in court, "Your honor, my client couldn't pass a drug test right now."
She got six months instead.

OP: Please, please, please, get help. AA, rehab, whatever it takes. PLEASE…do NOT risk being the one who ends up taking someone's son or daughter away from them, or taking a young person's mother or father away from them.
Change your life before you destroy someone else's.

 

[Newtricks]

Been there done that for way to long but 23 years sober today thanks to a good support group.Hopefully this was your bottom and this is your wake up call.Consider your self very lucky you did not kill some one or your self.My only advice is to find a support group Like AA, it works if you work it.

Ed Wade, my sponsor died in 2002 (he got sober the year I was born 1962), I really miss that man. Even though I'm no longer sober, I continue to work the steps and apply the 12 and 12 in my daily life.

 

[JustJazzie]

Why don't you consider picking up your camera instead of the bottle?

Because, I quote: " 2001 he ruptured the inter-vertebral disc between L4 and L3.

It is not an excuse but, it is why...."


He's just not ready to face himself and admit, and he's still looking for excuses.


(mods feel free to delete this comment)

I dont agree with this. There is always a cause. To me it sounds like he is simply explaining the REASON, or the CAUSE, but said its "not an excuse." Sometimes knowing the why can help you move forward. Its always hard to understand peoples meaning behind their words through text. You cant hear tone of voice, you cant see facial expression. But I would like to think we are reading him wrong.

I know when I have so much inner turmoil, sometimes there is a disconnect between my thoughts and what actually comes out of my mouth.

 

[Newtricks]

Here it is, 29 years of my own sobriety later and I still remember that guy's story and how every day is a chance for me to stay sober and do so many things I only thought I could do well enough while drinking and know I am doing them better today and without any regret. There have been a few obstacles in my life that I could have easily used for an excuse to start getting loaded again. I've lost jobs, relatives have died, girlfriends have broken up with me (or I them) and I've seen a number of my AA friends go back to drinking with very little apparent consequence at the time. Most have since died.

Jim

Thanks Jim.

 

[Rob99]

But it is an excuse. Drinking is a choice and getting behind the wheel is a choice. There is no reason, there is no cause other than his personal choice to do it.

You want to drink everyday to hide your problems, fine, do it, that's your CHOICE. But don't put other innocent life's at risk because of your CHOICE to drink and drive.

Man up and accept the punishment. You made a senseless and selfish choice and got caught. No excuses, you wouldn't have to "jump through hoops" or deal with corrections officers who are just doing the job law makers say they have to if you didn't choose to break the law.

Best of luck, I hope you find peace in something other than drinking.

 

[Tailgunner]

Why don't you consider picking up your camera instead of the bottle?

Because, I quote: " 2001 he ruptured the inter-vertebral disc between L4 and L3.

It is not an excuse but, it is why...."

Injuries suck, especially when they prevent you from doing things that helps keep you sane or in this case sober.

Anyhow, after having lost family members to drunk drivers as well as lost family to drug and alcohol abuse, stating I'm not a fan of drinking and doing drugs is an understatement. This however does't mean that I'm judgmental. Chemical dependency is horrible and not something that can be cured. I've seen people sobar 20yrs all of a sudden started drinking again. Its not a question "if" they will start up again, "it's when." Alcohol and drugs are opertunistic and patient beings. They patiently wait and look for that one moment of weakness in order to strike. It could be 5 years or 50 yrs. In this case, the OP was injured and wasn't physically able to do much outside of the one thing he was trying to avoid. I don't believe in AA either. How many of you have sat through an AA meeting? How many have sat through multiple meetings a week and how many of you have sat through multiple meetings a year etc? All people sat around talking about is drinking, day in and day out, sun up, till sun down. How in the hell can one get sober continuously talking about drinking for a month year, decade, century? Hell, I don't drink and I leave meetings thinking about drinking! There is a reason AA only has a 15% success rate. The longest sober person I seen slip was after 20 years and that person only attended AA meetings once a year...on their AA birthday. They probably would have made it longer had they had skipped the birthday party uh? Shameless joke, there is a best selling book that could be written about that person's life...it gives all new meaning to the saying truth is stranger than fiction. I honestly can't see how they made it a week without a drink let alone 20 years.

As for the OP, you know everything we can possibly tell you like put the plug in the jug and one drink is not enough and a million is too many etc. I don't know what advice to give you but what I will say want come out of an AA book. We all have demons, some are worse than others. You need to set them down individually and set them straight! Consider this a warning, being arrested for DUI is one thing, being arrested for vehicular manslaughter is a completely different story. Your demons are a cake walked compared to that. If all else fails, fake it till you make it...go find some sober person and mimic their every move. I like to keep large lego sets in the closest for rainy days...the large the set, the better.

Best of luck.

 

[Newtricks]

I have a prescription for Oxycontin, and am approved for medical marijuana... there are times when bourbon just works better. Driving in the car when I've been using anything is simply stupid, I f***ed up and am publicly admitting it.

 

[Newtricks]

But it is an excuse. Drinking is a choice and getting behind the wheel is a choice. There is no reason, there is no cause other than his personal choice to do it.

You want to drink everyday to hide your problems, fine, do it, that's your CHOICE. But don't put other innocent life's at risk because of your CHOICE to drink and drive.

Man up and accept the punishment. You made a senseless and selfish choice and got caught. No excuses, you wouldn't have to "jump through hoops" or deal with corrections officers who are just doing the job law makers say they have to if you didn't choose to break the law.

You are right! I'm not making excuses, I stood and did what was asked of me because I f***ed up.

 

[rexbobcat]

An excuse implies justification. I don't think that's what going on here.

 

[Newtricks]

An excuse implies justification. I don't think that's what going on here.

You are right, I stepped on my di**, made a bad choice, and am paying the price for f***ing up. I am not looking for forgiveness, simply sharing the fact.

 

[Vince.1551]

You are right, I stepped on my di**, made a bad choice, and am paying the price for f***ing up. I am not looking for forgiveness, simply sharing the fact.

Just be good and move on. The past is the past