What do you do when your significant other disapproves of your hobby?

[Deimodius]

Two words: Couples. Therapy.

 

[lordson]

i was in your situation not long ago.

when i first introduced the idea of spending $600 on a camera to my gf, she flipped out too.

but i got it anyway, and when i took it round to her place and showed it to her and starting taking some pictures and told her about some of the functions like shutter, apeture, lighting conditions, exposure. she wanted to play around with the camera and she couldn't really put it down and now loves that big black brick

i guess i lucked out, but perhaps you could show your husband the camera, do some research first, and tell him some interesting things about it, take a few snaps and show him how cool it is, maybe he'll come round.

he should love you and be supportive of what makes you happy and have an open mind about things. what does he have against photography anyway? talk about un-based prejudices

 

[Rock]

I had a similar situation with a different hobby (motorsports related) that cost me thousands of dollars with my FIRST wife........

I know now that the hobby wasn't the issue. It was the time I spent doing something important to me WITHOUT her.......Take a long hard look at the reasons he doesn't like it, the relationship and be honest with yourself about it.

I personally would not give up something that I was passionate about for anyone but the first time around that contributed (partially) to the demise of the relationship.

Do what makes you happy, life is way too short to be unhappy or controlled by someone in the name of love.....

 

[davidfromoz]

I'm probably just repeating what others have said, but this doesn't sound like a photography problem to me. And there are probably only two people who can solve this problem. I'd take any advice I get on the matter here with a grain or two of salt since we can't possibly understand your problem in a few short lines.

Now, that we've got that out of the way let me wade in and give some advice.

If I were you I wouldn't try to justify the purchase with its investment return value. I am no expert in this area, but I'd say that buying your first DSLR and making plans to go semi pro is a bit premature. And not only that, but if it doesn't happen then it might be the cause of future arguments.

Secondly, if money is a problem, and your husband didn't know how much you plan to spend then you certainly failed to communicate. We don't know your situation, but if your parents' gift could have perhaps been spent on something else then you really should have discussed it in detail before spending it.

Finally, and importantly, it sounds like the both of you really need to communicate better. Then you can make important decisions together and agree before you act on them.

Best of luck. And I hope after the smoke has cleared you enjoy you camera ;-)

cheers,
David

 

[jedithebomber]

If your SO has a problem with $550 then your journey toward semi-proism is going to be a rough one.

Other than that, what the others have said...

 

[Sw1tchFX]

If my significant other disapproved, i'd get a new one.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't at least be ok with the fact that I do this for a supplemental income, let alone a hobby.

If your husband isn't supporting you in this endeavor, what else might he won't support you on?

 

[Mesoam]

well unfortunately you seem to be deeper than most...

I just don't date girls who don't support things I enjoy. I am completely open to sharing my hobbies but if they don't get them, or aren't into them or have negative input towards them, LATER!

 

[Rick Waldroup]

It is odd that your husband so strongly disapproves of photography in general.

The deeper you get into this, the more money you are going to spend. If he thinks it is bad now, wait until you start to buy more equipment...

"I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven and in hell."
Edvard Munch

 

[xfloggingkylex]

you need to ask him why he has such a problem with you getting into photography.

if it is because it takes time away from him, tell him you'd like him to come along when you go out taking pictures (not just the bag carrier).

if its money, consider getting a part time job.

 

[Sarah Elizabeth]

I would take snaps of him packing his stuff and the door hitting him on the way out. But that is just me... I'm a 25 yr old woman ...hear me RAWR!

 

[elsaspet]

Bless your heart. I hate fighting with my hubby.
Unless it's draining your account, which it isn't, or taking time from your family, which it shouldn't, then you should be able to do as you please. After all, you ARE an adult.
Has he given you any specific info about what's got his nads in a bind?

 

[JerryPH]

Lots of good advice, but I seem to see a little bit of an issue concerning a lack of basic respect on the part of your hubby.

It could be jealousy that you have a hobby that you enjoy, it could be jealousy that it takes you away from him. It could be something entirely different and your hobby just triggers on this by coincidence.

In any case, he is the one that needs to learn to respect your desires and wishes. Something as basic as a hobby should not be the source of stress in a family unless that hobby takes priority over more important things such as working on the relationship. Obviously, a nice long serious conversation is due.

I'd also like to suggest that there are times that you take walks and purposefully leave the camera at home and other times that you take your camera with you. In either case, talk it out and let him know that as long as he respects your desires to continue in this hobby, you are willing to go 50-50 with him on this.

Initially this may cut into your camera time, but its a small price to pay for peace between both of you... and in time, if he is mature enough to see it as a form of pleasure for you, he will relax his reservations on this and let you get more serious about it.

Once he sees that you can bring in a little fun money with your hobby, be mindful. If he is the kind easily threatened, it could raise another stink... but let's hope that it has the opposite effect. The argument that the money this job brought in could be used for a private weekend get-away for the both of you just may entice him enough to send you out to get more jobs... lol.

Good luck in your endeavors.

 

[xfloggingkylex]

I finally had the time to read the long version, and I have to say, this is very odd.

It is very strange to have such an aversion to something like photography. Also, the fact that he hangs up on you is just plain childish. If he has a problem he needs to say something about it, and not just that he has a problem. Ask him to explain why he is so anti photography. maybe he had an embarrassing picture taken of him in high school or something?? something that changed his life negatively?

Either way, it's time for him to grow up, it's not like your hobby is exotic dancing for other men.

 

[LaFoto]

I wonder how much of all this our new member Sorano actually reads, she's been active once, i.e. when she posted, and her last activity on the forums reads as 29 October (the day she posted). Loads of good advice to ... no one?

 

[Iron Flatline]

LOL, when I saw that this thread was still alive I went to see if the OP had any additional posts since her first one... Maybe she got better emotional support on DP Review...