What do you do when your significant other disapproves of your hobby?

[rmh159]

I don't know that it matters if she ever comes back (maybe she just needed to vent / have a good cry) but I'm sure there are enough other people out there with this same issue to warrant some discussion

I got a dog like that. Wants all my attention all the time. I love the beast, yet I do as I please. If it gets real bad, don't feed him for a day or two- the mutt will get over it. If it gets worse, move without him. Life's too short. R-U hot?

What with this? Creeeeepy.

 

[Sarah Elizabeth]

That is funny. ABRAXAS you seem knarley ps. I am not hot

 

[skieur]

You just need to point out to your significant other that there are a lot of "hobbies" that are considerably more "disturbing", "dangerous" and "costly" than photography.

skieur

 

[JerryPH]

You just need to point out to your significant other that there are a lot of "hobbies" that are considerably more "disturbing", "dangerous" and "costly" than photography.

Yeah, like cow tipping or something.

 

[Alex_B]

wow, this is a long thread with many serious responses.

I only got one question, why does he have to "agree to let you buy" something you like from your Christmas money?

The "agree to let you buy" is very shocking to me.
Is he your master or your husband?

I do understand that discussions arise if your financial situation is very tight or desperate. But those would be discussions, not what you describe.

 

[Iron Flatline]

Well, that's not entirely right either, Alex_B. In most long-term relationships the partners discuss and agree on major purchases. Very few families in the world have abundant or limitless resources, so buying a major electronic device is something that might set back other goals, such as building up a college fund for the kids, paying off the house, or saving up for a family vacation.

Anyway, the OP never posted again. Who knows how this resolved itself....

 

[Alex_B]

Well, that's not entirely right either, Alex_B. In most long-term relationships the partners discuss

True! And sensible! But the way it was described here this was no discussion, but a veto at first. It was the phrase "let me buy" which sounds not like democracy.

Anyway, the OP never posted again. Who knows how this resolved itself....

true again, and we do not really know the whole situation, so it is hard to judge.

 

[patrickt]

In my humble opinion, it frequently has less to do with the hobby than it does with controlling a person and how they spend their time. I think I was on my third interest when I realized my wife didn't want me to have any interest beyond her.

 

[Alex_B]

In my humble opinion, it frequently has less to do with the hobby than it does with controlling a person and how they spend their time. I think I was on my third interest when I realized my wife didn't want me to have any interest beyond her.

Yes, some people cannot get over the fact that their partner does have his own interests and spare time activities.

In particular photography is very suspicious since it does not necessarily involve the partner.

 

[forceofnature]

Your husband will come around. I am sure he has his own hobbies too. My wife cant stand me riding a motorcycle, and I cant wait to add the turbo to it!

All hobbies are expensive. But 550 for a camera is not bad at all he should be glad you didn't buy the 5D.

 

[Skyhawk]

If photography is a true passion, and your husband won't support you in it, then you probably have more significant issues than just money.

Boy, isn't this the truth.

I always figured MY job as a husband was to support my wife's interests and do whatever it takes to help ensure her happiness and self-fulfilment. She has started several "hobbies" and never seen them through. Some were quite expensive--as in four-figure sewing machines, saddles/tack, blah blah.

Bottom line is that I can't--and refuse--to put a price tag on my marriage and relationship. Seeing a spouse smile like it's Christmas morning is, as the credit card people put it, priceless.

Being a husband or wife is not a hobby, nor is being a mother or father. We all need something outside our daily grind to fulfill our mind's quests and our yearn to explore what else there is in the world.

This is not unheard of. You're shifting attention to something that is "just yours" and you'll have to figure out a way to include him, or to make him comfortable with it.

Dead on, one hundred percent on the mark.

My wife has gotten involved in several of my hobbies shortly after I began including her in them. A couple of the "hobbies" turned into very beneficial activities for the both of us that quicly allowed us to expand our world. At first, she had no interest in flying, but I was a pilot when we met. Now she is my "first officer" and loves the idea that we can cut our travel time by better than two thirds because of "my hobby."

I taught her how to handle our boat. Again, she quickly fell in love with the idea of taking one of the dogs out with us and "exploring" various shorelines--and I get to take a camera along.

A good relationship entails that you and your spouse are best friends. And friends support each other's interests and endeavors. Friendships should not be over selfish issues, and for certain, marriages should not be.

I hope things work out for the two of you.

Jeff

 

[RKW3]

I'm lucky my dad and family are fine with my photography. One day I was just like, "dad, I want a camera. I have 50 dollars." Unfortunately 50 bucks wasn't even near enough but my dad paid for the rest. Haha.

Now my dad sees my pictures now and he's amazed so he wants to buy me a DSLR.

 

[Alex_B]

so far my close ones sometimes swallowed hard or gasped, but in the end always said that it was my decision.

.. talking of photographic gear, cars and furniture here

 

[Sideburns]

My girlfriend is an aspiring model. The fact that her boyfriend wants to become a professional photographer does not "**** in her cereal" at all...
She loves it.
She made a mention about "Will you ever do naked photos?" and I said "semi nude for good money, maybe..."...she seemed happy with that answer.

Anyways...you need to look deeper than just photography...there's something wrong in your relationship and you guys should work on it.

 

[Sideburns]

ahah I just realized she's probably gone..
Hopefully he didn't axe her when the camera came in the mail...