What do you think ?

cauzimme · Dec 3, 2015

Heavy post processing high key.
I was trying to get an image in the style of Ellen Von Unwerth. Any advice ?

weepete · Dec 3, 2015

Not to shabby. I can spot a difference in tone on the chest of the model camera left which is a bit offputting. I'd look to smooth that out a bit. The shadow on the face of the same model I don't like as it makes her face very unsymetrical

JoeW · Dec 3, 2015

A couple of quick comments:

1. Nice photo. I think it's a good erotic art statement. Not sure how similar it is in feel to Von Unwerth--I associate her work as more defiant or in-your-face...where the model facing the camera would have a look of "I like this--who cares what you think" or the model with her back to the camera would look more excited or energetic. You may have a different take on her work but I've always seen it as an attempt to be provocative and confrontation, jarring even with its' sexuality.

2. Agree with Weepete's comment on skin tones, especially for the model facing the camera. I think you could still get a high key look without being so overblown.

3. One thing that gets me is I've seen this pose a lot (woman's hand on the breast of another)...the hand should be more expressive. Right now, it looks like it could be resting on a table or a wall. The position of the hand doesn't suggest lightness or tenderness or love...or conversely aggression or arousal or dominance. I'd like that left hand to be more expressive--to convey more about the relationship. Instead, it's as if the hand isn't on a breast, it's on an inanimate object. So that's one way to up this pose.

4. I wish the hand in the hair wasn't so blown-out--I find that distracting...kind of there but also not, like a ghost hand.

5. Let me offer a couple of variations you could do with this couple that I think would work very well:
--Voyeur: the couple hugging, maybe the one with her back to the camera nuzzling the neck or cheek of the other The model with the longer hair looking in to the camera with an expression that says either "I know you're looking, you voyeur/you pervert--and I don't care. I like an audience." Or an expression of "she's mine!" so she looks very protective. But this idea of intruding on an intimate act and one of the actors knows--but isn't embarrassed--can be a very expressive and powerful look.
--Juxaposition of opposite ideals. You have one model who is a stereotype of feminine beauty (pale skin, long relatively straight hair). You have another with stronger hair cut and tattoos. Pose them to show off the differences and yet also their mutual attraction, that they are a couple/are "one." So for that, anything that darkens the skin of the short-haired model, maybe add a few fake tattoos to emphasize the difference, maybe some rough trade jewelry (like a spiked bracelet or necklace or even just long dangly ear-rings that make a statement and aren't classic). And then not just standing next to each other but in a pose that suggests togetherness (line one reclining in the other's lap or shoulder or limbs intertwined). It could also say "opposites attract" or "don't judge a book by it's cover" as a photo statement.

They're both lovely models, I can see lots of potential working with either of them or together. This photo itself is a lovely one. And you can see my comments in an earlier thread about the long-haired model and the potential for great high key work--her lips stand out superbly in this shot. To make the concept work better, a bit of work on her eyebrows would be in order--so they have clearer, stronger lines.

Thanks for sharing this and I hope these comments are useful.

The_Traveler · Dec 3, 2015

Let me suggest a couple of things.

In the original image, virtually all of what you want people to see is on the left side and the right side is filled with not-so-important-stuff that is ancillary to the center of interest.

The shadows seem to have much too definite a margin, considering how realtively faint they are.

If you moved the important stuff more to the center, the viewer still gets enough of the 'aggressor' to get the impact and the recipient of the attention is shown more and the impression of vulnerability is increased.

They are both sharing the center of the image

JoeW · Dec 3, 2015

The_Traveler said:
Let me suggest a couple of things.

In the original image, virtually all of what you want people to see is on the left side and the right side is filled with not-so-important-stuff that is ancillary to the center of interest.

The shadows seem to have much too definite a margin, considering how realtively faint they are.

View attachment 112259

If you moved the important stuff more to the center, the viewer still gets enough of the 'aggressor' to get the impact and the recipient of the attention is shown more and the impression of vulnerability is increased.

They are both sharing the center of the image

View attachment 112261

Well said Lew...and the visual demonstration of your points is great.

The_Traveler · Dec 3, 2015

JoeW said:
The_Traveler said:

Let me suggest a couple of things.

In the original image, virtually all of what you want people to see is on the left side and the right side is filled with not-so-important-stuff that is ancillary to the center of interest.

The shadows seem to have much too definite a margin, considering how realtively faint they are.

View attachment 112259

If you moved the important stuff more to the center, the viewer still gets enough of the 'aggressor' to get the impact and the recipient of the attention is shown more and the impression of vulnerability is increased.

They are both sharing the center of the image

View attachment 112261

Click to expand...

Well said Lew...and the visual demonstration of your points is great.

Thanks.
These points are derivatives of the three rules that define how I shoot & edit:
putting important things in important places, minimizing detracting things and emphasizing important things.
To do that the photographer must not just look for technical 'mistakes' but must understand how the viewer thinks and arrange the elements in line with making the appropriate impressions.

(That sounds a lot more pompous than I mean but is a pretty good description of how I try to work.)

cauzimme · Dec 3, 2015

Thanks for the input send it to a photographer friend of mine and she ask me; is you screen calibrate ? Because we clearly see all the brush you did, not i'm trying to adjust my screen so I can see whats shes talking about

cauzimme · Dec 3, 2015

OMG! now I see what she was talking about. My life was a lie.... But now I have the feeling my images are a bit to blue\red. Calibrating is a pain, I work on a laptop...

cauzimme · Dec 3, 2015

With the Highlights corrected(linked from fb, sorry for the quality)...

weepete · Dec 3, 2015

Looks better now, though I still have my reservations on the lighting on the model with two eyes. Now I think about it a bit more a flag may have worked wonders, as its not the shadows that bother me but the harsh lighting which has faded her facial structure which looks really great on her left but not so good on her right. It's almost like two different people.

The_Traveler · Dec 3, 2015

I went back and recalibrated and still see it as if all the skin is a monotone ugly grey 220,220,220
Sorry,

cauzimme · Dec 3, 2015

The_Traveler said:
I went back and recalibrated and still see it as if all the skin is a monotone ugly grey 220,220,220
Sorry,

That's the best calibration I can have with my laptop unfortunatly unless you would know something to help me.

I used to have a great computer, I was in graphic design before, but a crazy ex boyfriend left with it, never bought a new onw

Derrel · Dec 3, 2015

The bridge of the nose on the left, and the outline of the ear on the right...both look as flat as if they were squished against glass...that just jumps out at me...cannot get past that...