wow I guess the consensus is clear as mud

But I know everyone has good valid points.
Ideally I would take a zoom that ranges 14-300mm fixed at 1.4 accross the board, produces impeccable IQ and weighs less than half a pound. Well, if it existed I'd take it.
I don't relish the thought of carrying around a TON of equipment, and even more so changing lenses way too often, but at the same time I have this chance to be in some amazing places and have the photo bug to want to take some nice shots.
I know a long time ago I used to travel with my point and shoot and not even think about SLRs - and I came away with some awesome shots too. I suppose without having to worry about settings or the perfect lens, I worried only about composition, and actually got some creative stuff. There is so much one can do in post too nowadays.
BUT... all that said, I think for me at least, once you go to SLR you can't go back. And those awesome lenses, heavy as they are, are awesome for a reason.
I guess I just need to find a compromise somewhere. I want to take enough to not feel like I missed anything and was covered pretty well for various situations, and yet I truly do not want to take the kitchen sink.
I need to get educated more on the longer end. I have only really done stuff with the normal range zooms (17-55 on DX, 24-70 on full) and played with the wider side of things. I love the looks that wide lenses can create, but wow, they sure aren't the easiest lenses to shoot with (to get those shots you "want" to get)
On the tele end, can someone tell me in what situation (lets say shooting around Denmark or something) would I need one? (I don't expect to shoot wild-life - although I'm not sure if my kids count
