Why shouldn't I get a kit lens again? Is it because it's not a great lens or because it's not going to move up with me to a FF camera later on?
You can get a kit lens. They are honest and good, especially for learning. They're not excellent, nor they will serve you for a future full frame in totality. With Nikon FF, you can still use your crop lenses, using the Nikon DX mode, what is very nice, but you will lack some quality. With Canon, it's worse, once you can NOT use your cropped lenses into a Canon full frame, unfortunately.
But than the option. If you know for sure you will end up upgrading, just skip them (but that's your option). If you plan to upgrade to FF and keep you crop body, you could have both type of lenses, with no problem. If you don't want to keep your cropped body, just save the money to buy only full frame lenses. In the end, it's up to you.
Also are these memory cards ok and is this flash worth keeping?
The only cropped body to accept CF card is in the now old Nikon D300 family, not produced anymore, and if you want it, you need to go to the used market. Nowadays Nikon's cameras being produced are:
CROP SENSORS:
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D3002/D3003 - Only 1 slot for SD card, none for CF card.
The D3000 and D3001 are not under production anymore.
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D5002/D5003 - Only 1 slot for SD card, none for CF card.
The D5000 and D5001 are not under production anymore.
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D7001 - 2 slots for SD card, none for CF card.
The D7000 is not under production anymore.
FULL FRAME SENSORS:
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D610 - 2 slots for SD card, none for CF card.
The D600 is not under production anymore.
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D800/D800E/D810 - 1 slot for SD card + 1 slot for CF card.
The D800/D800E bodies are now being discontinued, but new bodies are still available out there, as stock exists. Only the brand new D810 will continue under production in this family.
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D4S - 1 slot for CF card + 1 slot for high-capacity XQD card.
My understanding is that the D4 is not under production anymore.
So your CF card will only work on a current full frame body, D800 family onwards.
The famous and great families of the D300 (pro-level crop sensor), D700 (mid-high level full frame) are discontinued, not anymore under production.
Here is a template for the Nikon family tree line for DSLR:
Template:Nikon DSLR cameras - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
There are rumors (not confirmed yet) that we could still see a D7200 being launched between 2014 and 2015, and even a D400 (some call it D900x), replacing the old and good D300s. Again, nothing confirmed, just rumors. For camera bodies, I'd go with a new one, not a used one. But that's me. For lenses, it's fine (more than fine) to buy used lens, in good shape, as lenses endure way more than camera bodies...
Here the same for Canon:
Template:Canon EOS digital cameras - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
And here for Sony:
Template:Konica Minolta/Sony DSLR cameras - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Sorry for the flash, as I don't know this one and could not give a advice about that model you have.
Sorry I'm giving more tips about Nikon. That is just because I am a Nikon user and am more used to it.
Canon, Pentax, Sony etc. are really good too. You cannot go wrong with any of them.