who gets the check, Guy vs Girl?

jseoung

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Even though the old-school, traditional days of dating are over, if its a first date, the guy will usually pay for the girl (or at least make a serious attempt when the check comes)... But how long into a relationship should it be before the girl starts paying her way? Should there be certain occasions in which the guy should always pay (Valentine's day, for example)? One time my girlfriend and I were deliberating over the distribution of financial obligation. i thought that it should be a split ( occassionaly) after being together for two years. That is, he pays sometime, and she pay sometime. I, of course, made it known to her that I did not want he to always pay. Also, we are both poor college kids with equally low incomes! What do you think of this? How do you/would you split it up?

Girls - do you like being paid for, or do you like to pay your way?

Guys - do you really like paying for the girl or are you secretly relieved when they insist on paying??

ITS FRUSTRATING ME!!!! super big argument:x:x:x:x!!
 

rufus5150

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My wife and I dated for a year, engaged for a year, and we've been married for almost 9.

She has paid for dinner on my birthday every year. That's the only time, even now that we share accounts except on rare occasions where I'm entangled with the kid or such.

I have a number of female friends (one who is virtually like a sister and the rest mostly business associate types, but people I've known for a long time) and when we do lunch, I pick up the tab. It's how I was raised and it doesn't feel right to do it any other way.

Not saying you should do this, but when I was a poor college student, the girls I dated and I did a lot of things that didn't cost money (get... your... minds... out... of... the... gutters). We went out less frequently because I couldn't afford otherwise but we found time to spend together. Any time that money became involved, if I couldn't afford it, we didn't do it. I can count on one hand the number of times this was a cause for disagreement.

I'm an oddity in this day and age, though, and I've probably offended people I've gone out on dates with in the past. Obviously, they weren't for me.
 
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jseoung

jseoung

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hmm i see.. thanks for your input........you see i am basically a new generation....(1984) although growing up i see that it was the better thing to do....but i dont know. Maybe your right finding things to do that does not involve with money.......give me acouple of hints on what we can do that does not cost money......=0/

i am sorry i have been so frustrated and trying to come to a better understanding right now...that all....:(
 

rufus5150

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Talk. Read together. Go for walks. Watch TV. Cook at home (together, even!). Play games (I played a whole hell of a lot of cribbage in college). I have a hard time believing free things to do are hard to find on a campus. We had oodles.
 

monkeykoder

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Don't forget our generation grew up in a consumption frenzy there is little we know of to do that doesn't cost oodles of money board games should start making a comeback I'm forcing many a friend to get into GO I was at one time president of either the Math Club or the Board Game Club (they consisted of exactly the same people so I can rarely remember both clubs played a lot of chess and settlers of catan). Card games are freaking awesome I'm sure most of our generation doesn't know how to cook but it's fun and it costs less.

As to the original question truthfully any "date" I've ever been on I paid for but that was precious few most of the time we just hung out and played cards or walked (too much time in the house can cost lots of money too...)
 

mrodgers

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My wife and I dated very little. We would run out to eat now and then, but mostly it was car trips going to see something and picnic (Cook's Forest, Kinzua Dam, stuff like that) or hanging out talking or watching movies.

I've been married 11 years and have 2 kids. I pay for everything now, which isn't much. I pay and she is at home taking care of the kids with cooking and housekeeping as secondary to the main job of the kids.
 

clarinetJWD

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I was in a relationship for 3 years, and she paid once in a while, but really, really had to twist my arm for it. If I had it my way, I always would have paid. And it's not a generational thing either, I was born in 1985. It's modern chivalry. Hold doors, pull out chairs, let her sit first, and pay.
 

sleepingdragon

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I dated my husband for about 3 years before getting married. I had no problem taking turns paying the bill. We were both college students at the time and I think I was working more than him. Now we both work full time have 4 kids and after 21 years of marriage we still take turns paying.
 
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jseoung

jseoung

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I dated my husband for about 3 years before getting married. I had no problem taking turns paying the bill. We were both college students at the time and I think I was working more than him. Now we both work full time have 4 kids and after 21 years of marriage we still take turns paying.

hmm that be nice.....
 

matt-l

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get the check, and don't let her pay. Not a generational thing like JWD said, im 16 and i do it (mind you it's mostly movies or fast food )
 

Eldrich

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I'm not afraid to admit that I like it when the guy pays . . .
don't be afraid to say that. Why would guys do it if the girls didn't like it!

as for me, my fiance and I have a bank account together we each put money into every month, then we buy everything with that account that is for the two of us. Which probably doesn't work for everybody, but it works really well if you live together, but would also like to have a source of money that you can call your own (for example to buy camera stuff without having to ask permission :D)
 

memento

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.. settlers of catan....


FTW!!11!! my favorite game!!!

we had some friends over and played that game.
my buddy called the next day telling me about a dream he had.. trading sheep. :lol




oh ya, the guy should pay.
girls pay in other ways..
 

AdamBomb

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Welp, I'm a college kid like you, and I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 years now (in April). And typically whoever suggests that we go out to dinner pays for it. We both know that money is not something we have a lot of right now and when she says, "You wanna go out to eat?" I assume that she is paying, and she does without a problem. And vice versa.
 

BoblyBill

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I was in a relationship for 3 years, and she paid once in a while, but really, really had to twist my arm for it. If I had it my way, I always would have paid. And it's not a generational thing either, I was born in 1985. It's modern chivalry. Hold doors, pull out chairs, let her sit first, and pay.


I'm exactly like that. I love treating girls like a queen. I think they should feel like they are the only thing that matters to the guy. Treat them with respect, not as an object of desire, but as a perfect human being that has yet been defiled by this world. I know I'm old school (though I was born in '82), but I was raised with my dad as the leader of the household and he treated mom like a queen. The best leader is also the best servant. I live by my dad's standards.
 

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