how to politely decline shooting a wedding

RKW3 · Apr 29, 2008

klp, if your mom really said that (u sure its not a hacker or someone who got on your mom's cpu?) than I revoke my previous comment, you definitely shouldn't do it. You shouldn't be treated like dirt for doing work for free...

Sarah23 · Apr 29, 2008

RKW3 said:
klp, if your mom really said that (u sure its not a hacker or someone who got on your mom's cpu?) than I revoke my previous comment, you definitely shouldn't do it. You shouldn't be treated like dirt for doing work for free...

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

daluke09 · Apr 30, 2008

Is there an open bar at the reception?

You could always drink too much and then blame it on the alcohol. Then you just have to tell everyone that the booze was shooting the pictures, not you.

SBlanca · Apr 30, 2008

i would warn them that you've never done it before, you dont have the apropiate equipment and you don't have the money to buy that equipment you need. warn them that the final product is not going to be as good as a professional photographer because of all this. just take your camera and try and take the best pics you can, for gods sake, they're your family....dont be silly, if they've asked you to do it its because they think you could produce something good.

as for the person complaining about their sister....don't be silly, don't make your sister pay! shes your sister! i dunno if it's just because of where i live and the fact that EVERYONE is very close...but i wouldn't make my mum/cousin/sister/best friend pay..i would make my cousins friend pay or my sisters friend but thats normal.

kellylindseyphotography · Apr 30, 2008

No it was def her.. there was more to the message, but that was the last line.

I don't mind helping out my family shooting.. Its just that I know they will have super high expectations and expect 'bridal magazine' quality (what bride doesn't?) I dunno. Maybe some of you are right. Maybe I should go and just try my best while being upfront about not having the experience/equiptment etc.

JerryPH · Apr 30, 2008

deudeu said:
Or it would them realize that it makes more equipement and skill than you have.

I like how you and I always disagree Jerry, but you will probably agree with me on this one. If there is one group of people that knows me in this world, it is my family, and because of this I am really not worried about wether or not i sound like jerk when i am around them!

It's not that I am disagreeing with you constantly, its just that I feel strongly that in this case, its not the right way to handle it.

Asking them to buy me thousands of dollars of equipment or I don't shoot does make me look bad in the eyes of my family. Not good.

I still can refuse in a polite and diplomatic manner without looking like I did not want to bring my camera because I did not get thousands of dollars out of my family.

In my case, I am still invited to the wedding, still on good terms with my cousin and his soon to be wife and I still can bring my camera and take pics and I plan to share the pics with them, of course)... but there will be a professional there that is going to capture the day for them in a manner that they deserve.

Everyone wins!

Lacey Anne · Apr 30, 2008

Wow. Just wow. After that response, I'm not sure I'd even go to the wedding.

kellylindseyphotography · Apr 30, 2008

Lacey Anne said:
Wow. Just wow. After that response, I'm not sure I'd even go to the wedding.

After a few more back and forth emails, it is determined that I'm the most selfish individual on the planet. I just wrote back to have fun, I'm not going and good luck with her point and shoot.

Early · Apr 30, 2008

Oh, go and take some shots! It ain't gonna kill ya, and ya might actually have some fun.

Sarah23 · Apr 30, 2008

kellylindseyphotography said:
After a few more back and forth emails, it is determined that I'm the most selfish individual on the planet. I just wrote back to have fun, I'm not going and good luck with her point and shoot.

hmm...that sucks that shes being like that. How are you being selfish???

Parkerman · Apr 30, 2008

kellylindseyphotography said:
After a few more back and forth emails, it is determined that I'm the most selfish individual on the planet. I just wrote back to have fun, I'm not going and good luck with her point and shoot.

Hah, Nice.

BoblyBill · Apr 30, 2008

Just go out and take some really terrible pictures and show them to the family... J/K...
Well just from looking at your website I'd say you would do a great job, but I totally understand how its is to shoot weddings. I've done one and hated it.

ryan7783 · Apr 30, 2008

Good for you. Stand up for yourself - you don't have to take that crap. Let this be a lesson to your mother that just because you're her daughter doesn't mean she can treat you like this, trying to throw a guilt trip on you, and then expecting you to change your mind and suddenly become a professional photographer who will shoot a wedding for free.

If you do decide to go, I wouldn't take the camera because any pictures you do take will just remind everyone involved of how sh**ty this whole experience was.

kellylindseyphotography · Apr 30, 2008

Sarah23 said:
hmm...that sucks that shes being like that. How are you being selfish???

Thats what I'm so confused about!! I said I would go and take her pictures for her but to please not tell them I will be their "official wedding photographer".. thats all I asked. Its not that I don't want to go or shoot some pics for her, I just don't need the label or the responisibility that comes with that label. I have done one wedding before, hated it, and detest the bridezillas. Not that my cousin is or isn't one.. I don't know. And I don't want to know.. lol.

I just don't want my cousin to have this expectation of not having to hire a pro wedding photog. I think every wedding should have one. I guess that just my personal opinion... I duno. I don't like being called a selfish asshole, thats for sure.

And since thats my mothers opinion, I shouldn't hold it against my cousin. GAH!!!!!

kundalini · Apr 30, 2008

I'd go to the wedding with camera in hand (as it would be that way regardless) and take the best photos I could. Enjoy the day and not put pressure on myself. I would then PP the best I could and provide the B&G with low res JPEGS with watermarks on CD.

If they wanted prints, then they would have to cover the cost, but I would still do it basically free for family. That's just me.

In the back of my mind I would hope this will lead to paying opportunities.

I also believe in karma.