While not technically perfect, I still think this is a fairly succesful image that tells an interesting story. If you intended for the person's features to be unrecognizable or anonymous, keep the face area the way it is.
The pose could be improved. His right arm disappears into the jacket, giving the appearance of a missing limb, and the hand on the arm is mostly in the dark which only lends to that idea. If you had the model keep both elbows out instead of one, it would have fixed those issues while also creating additional compositional shapes to enhance your main subject (triangles, which are often associated with power). I like the narrative you have here. You definitely shouldn't give up on this kind of work.