YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CANADA WHEN ...
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. In Quebec there's also vinegar.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. Waders would be more appropriate given the weather we've had the past few years.
3. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas. Canadian Tire IS the toy store.
4. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard. Easier to hide the fake ghouls in snow graves...
5. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow. Plus when you "ooze" through the stop, you got a good excuse.
6. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons. Warm is sexy. Cold makes things shrink. 'nuff said.
7. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey. Thats for the "professional" stuff. You forgot the local hockey has its own full section.
8. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. Nah. We know how to make sure we have what we need when we head into the bush.
9. You find -40C a little chilly. We also have the sense not to be out there at those temperatures.
10. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze. Well, natch. Not to mention the garden shed.
11. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelery and your Sorels. Well, up to the mud room. Then the outer layers come off and we really get friendly. Really, there's a reason for our reputation.
12. You understand the Labatts Blue commercials. The microbreweries have these beat when it comes to cultural references.
13. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada". Or at least we did, until CBC forgot to renew their license to the tune... Now it's some forgettable thing,
The funniest part......Hockey wasn't even their national sport!