It was a bit easier to get into the hobby of developing your own film and making your own prints "back in the day" because you could get into the hobby in school (if the school had a photography club that owned a darkroom) or if they knew people already in the hobby who had darkrooms. This means you learn from another person rather than trying to figure it out entirely on your own.
You might check around to see if there are any camera clubs in your area where people actually still use darkrooms (probably hard to find these days).
Apart from that, you'll need to look for books or tutorials on the Internet or ... go visit that library that you mentioned you'd rather not visit.
I can "sum up" the process... but there's just no way to cover all the details.
There are two halves to the home processing... (1) developing the film and (2) printing (and developing the prints).
"Developing" the film doesn't actually require a dark-room. The equipment is actually fairly cheap.
Basically the developing process entails learning to transfer the exposed-but-undeveloped film onto a film spool which is then placed into a light-tight canister. The canister has a funnel with baffles in it that wont allow light through but will allow liquids through. This part does actually require a 'dark' room. There are dark bags designed for this... it's a light-proof bag. You put everything you need into that bag and zip it shut. You stick your arms through a couple of sleeve holes. You can now go through the process of transferring the film to the spools and into the canister and you don't need a 'dark' room because the bag doesn't let any light in. But EVERYTHING you need must be in that bag because once you pop open the film... if you forgot something important, you cannot open the zipper in the light or you'll ruin the film.
You'll then go through steps to add and soak it in a three chemicals (one at a time)... starting with the 'developer' (which does what the name implies), then that chemical is emptied and a 'stop' chemical is applied (this neutralizes the developer chemical), and that is emptied and then finally a 'fixer' chemical is applied (which makes the film no longer sensitive to light). The film can now be exposed to light. Typically the top of the canister is removed and you run it under tap-water to rinse the film, then pull it off the spool and and hang it to dry (sometimes gently wiping it off with a squeegee to avoid water spots.)
Learning to transfer the film from the canister and wind it onto the spool for developing takes some practice. I suggest sacrificing a roll of film by doing this with the lights ON so you can see how it works (this, of course, ruins the film for photography but it helps you practice the technique). Once you've got it... do it again but this time in completely darkness (or in a dark-bag) and repeat several times until you're sure you can "feel" your way through the process without the need for light. When you're comfortable with that, you're ready to try with some real film.
You can find the process here:
Developing Black and White Film at Home
Printing is a bit more tricky because printing actually requires a dark-room... a light-tight room which has both electricity and running water (commonly people find a way to seal out all the light in their bathroom and use the bathroom as a dark-room (assuming the bathroom has enough space to hold everything they need.) Sealing out all the light can be trickier than you think. Your eyes wont notice the light leaks until they are dark-adapted... a process that takes 40 minutes but your eyes are mostly dark adapted in about 20 minutes. So you seal up the room, then go sit in it and do nothing for a half hour and then start checking for light leaks (and you'll be amazed how many you find that you couldn't see before.)
You also need a few bits of specialty gear such as a darkroom enlarger (the projector... you load the film negative onto a tray that slides into the projector and this is what will ultimately be used to project the image onto a sheet of photographic paper). You also need a timer. You need several trays for the chemicals (developer, stop, and fixer) as well as a place to rinse the paper (hence the need for running water).
The equipment for a dark-r0om is a bit more expensive (although you can probably find great deals on used gear because there isn't much of a market for it anymore.)
If you botch the process of developing the film it's game-over for the film. But if you botch the process of printing the paper ... well hey you still have your negatives so you can certainly try again.
There are numerous techniques to create timing-sheets, contact sheets, learning the process of 'dodging' and 'burning' (make local adjustments when printing an image that needs more exposure or less exposure in a specific area) which are too numerous to go over here.
But the basic process of developing the paper is rather similar to developing the film.
Most photographers did this only with black & white. Very few people attempt to deal with color processing in their home darkrooms. The process is more complicated. I never personally knew any photographer friends who did their own color at home... they sent out the color for processing, but they did their own B&W.
