Hard Constructive Criticism

[manaheim]

I liked the idea of the shot... not that it's terribly unique, but it's always a cool shot to do.

I found myself wanting a little less than your original try and a little more than your second one.

Since you say it's ok to edit, I played a bit. This is what I came up with...

What I did...

1. Increased brightness by 15 points or so.
2. Increased contrast by 30-40 points or so.
3. WAY oversharpened it (on purpose). I wanted a bit more of the edginess that you had originally... this made the strands of hair pop and accentuated the facial features more.
4. Swung the color balance to be slightly warmer.
5. Did a fairly aggressive crop... had to play with this a bit, but I wound up here with your head sort of leaning into the center of the frame from the right.

What do you think?

 

[D-B-J]

It's a great idea, but the quality is lacking.. So much. It's noisy. It's pixelated. Those two things right there make it hard for me to see from an artistic standpoint. As to the art aspect, i like the grungy look. The lighting. But i also agree that cutting off the hands was a bad idea.

 

[manaheim]

The hands are fine.

Having more of them would lend nothing to the image and take away from what we should be focusing on, which is the face. Particularly where we can't really see them anyway... all they are there to do is clarify to us where the light is coming from, and there is enough of them there to make that case.

 

[MarkCSmith]

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate every comment so far. And its been very constructive in my way of thinking. Is this version any better? What Im looking for is something to stand on its own. Its less overcooked. I want details in the dark areas but want the area lit by the "match" to show the color. Im after a dramatic look. And sorry, cant do much about the composition. The hands getting cut off was my fault. But the hands arent the main subject and its so dark around the facial area I dont figure its that important. But thats me thinking and Im interesting in what you have to say.

This version would be good if the masking around the hairline and hair wasn't so sloppy. Use more soft brushes and low opacity to bring the color/B&W fade in more naturally.

 

[Bynx]

Manaheim its about as good as its going to get. Thanks. Also your comments about my hands are exactly what I was thinking when DBJ made his comment. Thanks again.

 

[fokker]

It's underexposed from the outset which doesn't help the quality side, and I think it would look better if it was an actual match and an actual cigarette with some smoke coming off of it.

 

[Bynx]

Youre absolutely right fokker. Nothing beats the real thing. Trying to fake it doesnt work. Although I think a match wont give me the light I want.