Help with a crappy wedding scenario please!

[bennielou]

I am secretly in love with Sabbath......

 

[IgsEMT]

I am secretly in love with Sabbath......

Great, now I'm getting jealous
Lololol

 

[pixilstudio]

WHAT are you doing you are clearly dont have the situation in control. you are clearly not ready. ..."a natural light photographer" that is BS i have a second free shooter... what is the point if they dont know what they are doing either... you get what you pay for. sounds like you are going to screw up someones special day that they dont get back. think about that for a while. this is not just a job this is someones life you are messing with. why dont you work for another photographer as a second and learn and listen. Ive been shooting weddings for 10 years i hear nightmare stories like this all the time form guests

 

[bennielou]

And that is really the deal Pixil.

I liked the fact that you asked to OP to consider the Couple first. I also like the fact that you also think apprenticing is the way to go.

I mean weddings sound like this easy breazy way to make tons of money. But they are far from easy (as many a photog has learned firsthand in the last few years). Weddings are to me, about the hardest thing you could ever shoot, which requires a VERY SOLID knowledge of light, portraiture, photojournalism, posing, fashion photography, and at the reception...sports photography! And this all needs to be done in low light for the most part, with crazy church ladies and their endless rules, stressed out people, smart assed groomsmen piping in, sometimes lots of drunks piping in, lateness, constant schedule changes, and all the rest of things that happen at weddings.

I'm not trying to talk anyone out of going into business. I agree with you though, that if you walk into the situation without a WHOLE lot of knowledge, you will likely screw up. And not just for yourself but your client as well.

Crawl before you walk. Walk before you run.

 

[Shadowbox]

I'm pretty sure she gets the point. People here continue stating the same points for oh.. about four pages worth.. I mean really, lets talk about bully mentality here. If you need to group up with the posse and add your little 'ya ya that's right ya what she said uh huh' bull**** then you really don't have much of an important opinion anyway.

She's not going to quit this job.
She's not going to be able to rent equipment.
She has what she has.
To the people who offered real advice based on those facts, thank you for actually showing some interest in helping a fellow photographer.
To the people who continue repeating the same bashing that has gone on since page one, please the point has been made and I for one find it very distasteful that on this forum so many people are quick to judge and jump down the throat of others.

She may be a beginner who got herself into a sticky situation, but she's still a person and she still needs your help. Why be mean? She's not going to be stealing any of your gigs. It's not like she's tarnishing the name of photography. She's a mom who needs extra money and can make it doing pics for people who aren't interested, or can't afford, someone of a higher professional caliber. Does that mean she should be bashed when she doesn't know something?

How many times have you been in a situation where you needed help at your job? We all started somewhere.

I know many people, who are hired in right out of college, who are GREEN and have no clue what they are doing but they learn as they go through experience.

Maybe she shouldn't be doing the wedding but she IS. Now don't you think it would be better to help her, and perhaps she'll learn something from this, than it is to drag her through the mud with every other post on this thread.

I find the whole pack mentality of forums to be so tired and boring. Let me see someone stand up on their own and actually have the back bone to not want to be one of the 'cool kids' and actually help this woman out. I would, but I'm new myself so I have no clue about lighting. However, I don't judge her for wanting to do what she can with what she has to make money. If you are a single mom you might want to do the same if your kids are hungry and nobody mention the f'ing government assistance. I mean that is such a cop out. Before you even say it, think about it..wouldn't you rather have her learning and trying something herself than relying on your tax money to feed her and her kid.. hmm? Really now.

I think this thread should be closed because people here are just plain mean and whoever owns this site should be ashamed that they have so many vultures here. I read a lot of former threads and up until december 10 it was a lot more peaceful.

I'm not saying that she isn't in a bad place or that people don't have the right to be annoyed. But ganging up on her and repeating the same thing several times is pointless. Also, I'm not saying I agree that she should do the wedding but I can't stop her and neither can you by being mean. All you can do is either not give her advice and watch as a couples wedding photos are destroyed, or give some advice she can USE and see a photographer learn something new, grow from it, and possibly prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

Thank you.

Also I won't be reading any responses, I don't do internet fights.

 

[tirediron]

WHAT are you doing you are clearly dont have the situation in control. you are clearly not ready. ..."a natural light photographer" that is BS i have a second free shooter... what is the point if they dont know what they are doing either... you get what you pay for. sounds like you are going to screw up someones special day that they dont get back. think about that for a while. this is not just a job this is someones life you are messing with. why dont you work for another photographer as a second and learn and listen. Ive been shooting weddings for 10 years i hear nightmare stories like this all the time form guests

All very true, and statements with which I agree, BUT, having thought further about this... There is a small, albeit VERY small segment of the wedding population which truly do not care about photographs in the traditional sense. They're interested (usually) in having some sort of record of the day, but they genuninely don't care about getting professional-quality images. As long as the OP is working in that market segment, then perhaps this is a moot point.

On the other hand, there is a world of difference between that segment and the one which does want photographs, but can't afford the average rate for a wedding photographer. Those are the people who I think are most hurt by Wedding 'Faux'tographers. They're budget-limited, and because of that, are usually forced to accept a crap product.

 

[GooniesNeverSayDie11]

They're budget-limited, and because of that, are usually forced to accept a crap product.

With that in mind, is it the "fauxtographers" fault? I mean, unless a pro wants to do some charity work, the bride and grooms two options are either to take the best available to them, or just not have pictures. They may be expecting/hoping for a miracle, but I don't think its the person taking the pictures fault when that bubble bursts. By all means urge them to get a professional and over stress your shortcomings, but at the end of the day, if they say ok, then its on them. Noone is pulling a fast one on them. I didn't make their budget. Should they be advised to NOT get married until they can afford several grand for photos? I mean there are many angles to look at this from. Personally, I grew up in a very low income rural area. People there were lucky to even be able to afford a wedding at all, let alone all the bells and whistles. I guess if you believe he is possibly going to ruin someones day, you can also believe that he may also be saving someones day and providing a service to those in need.

(I mean "you" in the general sense, not "you" as in TiredIron specifically)

 

[bennielou]

I'm pretty sure she gets the point. People here continue stating the same points for oh.. about four pages worth.. I mean really, lets talk about bully mentality here. If you need to group up with the posse and add your little 'ya ya that's right ya what she said uh huh' bull**** then you really don't have much of an important opinion anyway.

She's not going to quit this job.
She's not going to be able to rent equipment.
She has what she has.
To the people who offered real advice based on those facts, thank you for actually showing some interest in helping a fellow photographer.
To the people who continue repeating the same bashing that has gone on since page one, please the point has been made and I for one find it very distasteful that on this forum so many people are quick to judge and jump down the throat of others.

She may be a beginner who got herself into a sticky situation, but she's still a person and she still needs your help. Why be mean? She's not going to be stealing any of your gigs. It's not like she's tarnishing the name of photography. She's a mom who needs extra money and can make it doing pics for people who aren't interested, or can't afford, someone of a higher professional caliber. Does that mean she should be bashed when she doesn't know something?

How many times have you been in a situation where you needed help at your job? We all started somewhere.

I know many people, who are hired in right out of college, who are GREEN and have no clue what they are doing but they learn as they go through experience.

Maybe she shouldn't be doing the wedding but she IS. Now don't you think it would be better to help her, and perhaps she'll learn something from this, than it is to drag her through the mud with every other post on this thread.

I find the whole pack mentality of forums to be so tired and boring. Let me see someone stand up on their own and actually have the back bone to not want to be one of the 'cool kids' and actually help this woman out. I would, but I'm new myself so I have no clue about lighting. However, I don't judge her for wanting to do what she can with what she has to make money. If you are a single mom you might want to do the same if your kids are hungry and nobody mention the f'ing government assistance. I mean that is such a cop out. Before you even say it, think about it..wouldn't you rather have her learning and trying something herself than relying on your tax money to feed her and her kid.. hmm? Really now.

I think this thread should be closed because people here are just plain mean and whoever owns this site should be ashamed that they have so many vultures here. I read a lot of former threads and up until december 10 it was a lot more peaceful.

I'm not saying that she isn't in a bad place or that people don't have the right to be annoyed. But ganging up on her and repeating the same thing several times is pointless. Also, I'm not saying I agree that she should do the wedding but I can't stop her and neither can you by being mean. All you can do is either not give her advice and watch as a couples wedding photos are destroyed, or give some advice she can USE and see a photographer learn something new, grow from it, and possibly prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

Thank you.

Also I won't be reading any responses, I don't do internet fights.

I think you are missing the point, Shadowbox. We are trying to HELP. Sometimes telling a person not not jump off a bridge is HELPING.

And yes, she can go ahead and shoot the wedding. Maybe a miracle will happen. We can live in a big Politically Correct world where there are no winners or losers.

Or maybe we are trying to talk her our of jumping off a bridge with no wire.

Sorry to see you go, but maybe you aren't seeing this thread for what it's purpose is.

 

[leixialong]

Also I won't be reading any responses, I don't do internet fights.

Hug a tree, go on.

The OP hasn't the right equipment or experience and cant be helped in my opinion. I could shoot as a second but not a first because you need real experience to lead a wedding shoot and im smart enough to know that. Its the reason I have turned down wedding work requests. Maybe in a couple of years. If the OP goes ahead I admire her but wouldn't wanna be in her shoes.

 

[tirediron]

They're budget-limited, and because of that, are usually forced to accept a crap product.

With that in mind, is it the "fauxtographers" fault? I mean, unless a pro wants to do some charity work, the bride and grooms two options are either to take the best available to them, or just not have pictures. They may be expecting/hoping for a miracle, but I don't think its the person taking the pictures fault when that bubble bursts. By all means urge them to get a professional and over stress your shortcomings, but at the end of the day, if they say ok, then its on them. Noone is pulling a fast one on them. I didn't make their budget. Should they be advised to NOT get married until they can afford several grand for photos? I mean there are many angles to look at this from. Personally, I grew up in a very low income rural area. People there were lucky to even be able to afford a wedding at all, let alone all the bells and whistles. I guess if you believe he is possibly going to ruin someones day, you can also believe that he may also be saving someones day and providing a service to those in need.

(I mean "you" in the general sense, not "you" as in TiredIron specifically)

Yeah, I guess I didn't get that out quite right. What I was trying to say, in my own, painful way was that there are times when it's fine for someone without traditional skills or equipment to take on a wedding, BUT at the same time, it's NOT fair for someone (usually because of financial limitations) to think they're going to get a quality product from a Craig's List Fauxtographer.

never mind... I know what I mean, but I can't seem to articulate it. Just washed my tongue and can't do a thing with it....

 

[GooniesNeverSayDie11]

never mind... I know what I mean, but I can't seem to articulate it. Just washed my tongue and can't do a thing with it....

Thats kinda what I was saying too. That post wasn't really meant to be directed at you so much as just be thinking out loud in response to that statement.

One thing is for sure......if the OP does go through with it, we want to see the pics afterwards!!! well, at least I do anyway.

 

[pixilstudio]

for SHADOWBOX my point is... its not about her (the photographer) or the $$ its about the bride and their friends family and their memories... one day, one chance one shot. dont screw it up. not worth gambling with someones wedding so you can make a little extra on the side. if i was her i would admit i was in over my head and refere them to a pro and second shoot the wedding.

 

[tirediron]

never mind... I know what I mean, but I can't seem to articulate it. Just washed my tongue and can't do a thing with it....

Thats kinda what I was saying too. That post wasn't really meant to be directed at you so much as just be thinking out loud in response to that statement.

One thing is for sure......if the OP does go through with it, we want to see the pics afterwards!!! well, at least I do anyway.

Understood and agree!

 

[table1349]

never mind... I know what I mean, but I can't seem to articulate it. Just washed my tongue and can't do a thing with it....

Thats kinda what I was saying too. That post wasn't really meant to be directed at you so much as just be thinking out loud in response to that statement.

One thing is for sure......if the OP does go through with it, we want to see the pics afterwards!!! well, at least I do anyway.

Understood and agree!

Don't worry, you're not at think and we drunk you are. :lmao:

Actually, you gave me flashbacks to when my wife and her mother are together. It never ceases to amaze my father-in-law and I when they get to talking. They will say stuff that is totally incorrect or off center and they will know exactly what each one is talking about. It's frightening sometimes how they can communicate so well and still so completely butcher the english language.

It is a special knack to be able to understand such conversations.

 

[sabbath999]

I am secretly in love with Sabbath......

That's the most reasonable thing anybody has said in this thread...