I was just accepted....

[Socrates]

When a family loses a child, a photographer with this organization goes out to the hospital and photographs the child for the parents. It is all done free of cost so the parents can have memories of the child they lost. I'll get a link to a news story on it, hold on just a second.

My child died in my arms thirty-two years ago. Dr. Everett Koop was the surgeon that told me he can do nothing. In my case, I had a photo of him from before he died. It's still in my wallet and it's the only one that I have ever put there. My other sons are well aware and they accept my decision.

That being said, I learned that everyone grieves differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, especially when you've gone through the worst experience possible for a normal human being. In any event, I would not, under any circumstances, want a photo of my son after his death and I could not even consider taking photos of other children that have died. Please appreciate that that is not a criticism of the wishes of others. As I said, everyone grieves differently.

I will say to all that have not gone through such a tragedy... If someone close to you has such an experience, do NOT feel obligated to say anything profound. Perhaps the worst thing that can be said is "You're young, you'll have other children." I had a child after this experience and I think the world of him but he is not, in any way, a replacement for his deceased brother. The best thing to say is a very simple "I'm sorry" and then follow up with a hug.

 

[chinpokojed]

WOW -- that's incredibly touching that you're involved in that program, congratulations on being accepted.

Crystal the link you provided for Think Pink Photography is borked -- I think you just accidentally included an "s" after the http

here's a good link - http://www.thinkpinkphotography.org/

 

[Lacey Anne]

you are too kind still feel like i suck 99% of the time

Whatever! You're awesome and you know it!

 

[Lacey Anne]

My child died in my arms thirty-two years ago. Dr. Everett Koop was the surgeon that told me he can do nothing. In my case, I had a photo of him from before he died. It's still in my wallet and it's the only one that I have ever put there. My other sons are well aware and they accept my decision.

That being said, I learned that everyone grieves differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, especially when you've gone through the worst experience possible for a normal human being. In any event, I would not, under any circumstances, want a photo of my son after his death and I could not even consider taking photos of other children that have died. Please appreciate that that is not a criticism of the wishes of others. As I said, everyone grieves differently.

I will say to all that have not gone through such a tragedy... If someone close to you has such an experience, do NOT feel obligated to say anything profound. Perhaps the worst thing that can be said is "You're young, you'll have other children." I had a child after this experience and I think the world of him but he is not, in any way, a replacement for his deceased brother. The best thing to say is a very simple "I'm sorry" and then follow up with a hug.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to mourn a child. And I agree whole-heartedly with your last paragraph. Right after my dr. told me our baby would die, he said, "DOn't worry, you know you can get pregnant again." I wanted to hit him. I should have.

 

[Lacey Anne]

WOW -- that's incredibly touching that you're involved in that program, congratulations on being accepted.

Crystal the link you provided for Think Pink Photography is borked -- I think you just accidentally included an "s" after the http

here's a good link - http://www.thinkpinkphotography.org/

Thank you.

 

[Los Angeles]

I know this has been said many times but it cant be said enough this is an amazing thing you can do for someone else. (Someone else that wants it) I wish you the best of luck. And hope it helps you heal.

J

 

[Socrates]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to mourn a child. And I agree whole-heartedly with your last paragraph. Right after my dr. told me our baby would die, he said, "DOn't worry, you know you can get pregnant again." I wanted to hit him. I should have.

Although nowhere near as disconcerting, another comment that I avoid is "I know how you feel." No, you don't. When my son died, I knew the depth of my wife's feelings but I did not know "how" she felt and the same was true of her knowledge about my feelings.

Even semantics can be a problem. My son did not "pass away." I did not "lose" him. He died. However, others prefer the softer semantics and there's no way to know which words you should use.

Again, I suggest the simple "I'm sorry" followed by a hug.

 

[quickshot]

It's great to hear that people are donating their time and resources for such a good cause. Congrats on being accepted!

I read the story and watched the slideshow. This stuff always breaks my heart. It's one of my biggest fears in life, to lose a child. I'm only 19 so i've plenty of time to grow up still, but it terrifies me to know that when I have children, there is always a possibility that I would be burying a child. It may be a pessimistic point of view, but it's also realistic. Hopefully this will be something I can more easily understand when i'm older and matured.

Also, I am very sorry to anyone that this has happened to.:hug::