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[limr17]

We aren't together anymore for some reason.

Shocker!

 

[Gary A.]

Okay, I cannot find the picture I'm looking for ANYwhere. I know it was still on my phone as of last week, but now it's eluding me.

It was a sign I saw at the grocery store sometime last winter, I think.

It was on one of the freezer units, and it said, "The breaded chicken has moved to aisle 8." (or somewhere, I don't remember).

All I could think was, "if that breaded chicken is moving on its own, I want no part of it!!"

I suspect it in fact had *been moved* to aisle 8 rather than getting there under its own power.

Freshness guaranteed.

 

[sm4him]

I remember a few months after my Girlfriend's kid was born I used to follow behind her about 20 feet while we were shopping, and every time the kid would make a fuss I'd yell "LADY. COME ON. WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR DAMNED KID UP??"

That made for some pretty hilarious people watching. People would confront me about it and get all pissy... She would try to explain that I was her boyfriend and was just joking around, and I'd reply "What the hell are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life."

We aren't together anymore for some reason.

A friend of mine was at Walmart with her son, who was pretty young at the time--little enough to still fit in the little fold-down seat in the cart. He was being a brat, and she was telling him that if he didn't stop it, it wasn't going to end well for him when they got home.

He continued to scream and fuss and cry. She said that she'd noticed an elderly lady, "watching" them disapprovingly, like she suspected my friend of being abusive to the kid or something.

About the time she realized that the woman really WAS following them and keeping an eye on them, her son screamed, at the top of his lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!"

 

[Stradawhovious]

We aren't together anymore for some reason.

Shocker!

To be honest, she was a terrible person. I'm thrilled to be where I am right now, and even more thrilled she isn't a part of it.


Now my wife and I get into verbal "fights" at the checkout counters just to watch the person at the register's comfort level deteriorate.

Everyone needs a hobby.

 

[Gary A.]

When parents aren't looking, I make faces at little kids.

 

[Gary A.]

We aren't together anymore for some reason.

Shocker!

To be honest, she was a terrible person. I'm thrilled to be where I am right now, and even more thrilled she isn't a part of it.


Now my wife and I get into verbal "fights" at the checkout counters just to watch the person at the register's comfort level deteriorate.

Everyone needs a hobby.

I would ban you from my store.

 

[Stradawhovious]

I would ban you from my store.

And rightfully so!

Corporate doesn't care enough to ban us though, so Target here we come!

 

[Gary A.]

I'll alert them that you're on your way.

 

[Stradawhovious]

I'll alert them that you're on your way.

CURSES! Foiled again.

 

[snowbear101]

Okay, I cannot find the picture I'm looking for ANYwhere. I know it was still on my phone as of last week, but now it's eluding me.

It was a sign I saw at the grocery store sometime last winter, I think.

It was on one of the freezer units, and it said, "The breaded chicken has moved to aisle 8." (or somewhere, I don't remember).

All I could think was, "if that breaded chicken is moving on its own, I want no part of it!!"

I suspect it in fact had *been moved* to aisle 8 rather than getting there under its own power.

Freshness guaranteed.

There used to be a tattoo parlor in Brandywine (just to the north of us) that had a sign "Made Fresh Daily."

 

[sm4him]

Some more funnies I came across whilst searching through photos on my phone:


These sorts of directional signs always amuse me. So, let me get this straight: If I turn left I'm going south.
If I turn right, ON THE SAME JAMMIN' ROAD, I'm also going south.

Okay. got it. Makes sense, I guess--it's Tennessee, it's ALL in the south, right?

 

[sm4him]

This was one of those "get your pictures instantly" machines. Only I don't think that word means what they think it means.

 

[snowbear101]

Some more funnies I came across whilst searching through photos on my phone:

View attachment 87916
These sorts of directional signs always amuse me. So, let me get this straight: If I turn left I'm going south.
If I turn right, ON THE SAME JAMMIN' ROAD, I'm also going south.

Okay. got it. Makes sense, I guess--it's Tennessee, it's ALL in the south, right?

I'll have to look for some our zingers.

One of my favorite signs:

 

[sm4him]

And my favorite:

We amused ourselves through the entire meal making fun of this one!
But we never did figure out what scared it.

 

[snowbear101]

This one is clear, huh? Actually, Lenny may have seen this one, "live."