you guys suffer from depression?
I did for many years. MANY years. Most of my late teens and adult life really. Struggled with it off and on--more on than off, and while I never attempted suicide, I certainly contemplated methods often enough.
Tried counseling. Tried medication. Still went up and down and up and down. Finally found a medication that worked for me long enough to get into a stable enough place where I was able to deal with some of the stuff in my head--also had a spiritual experience that I won't get into here.
The result is that I've been off medication without a single true clinical depressive episode in about 3 years. I know many of my triggers and am careful to do what I need to in order to keep from starting down the spiral.
But winter is the WORST because I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Sometimes in the midst of winter, I truly just have no desire to keep fighting me way through toward another Spring.
And THIS year, I'm seriously already wondering how I'm gonna deal with another winter, and it's not even November yet.
I gotta move further south. But other than winter, I love it here too much to move.