love

[ferny]

What's the point? You find someone, you get to know them and can't stop thinking about them. Then you build up the courage to tell them and they say that they aren't interested.
Or they say yes, you devote yourself to them and after a while things turn nasty, you die inside and realise you've just wasted yourself.

What's the point in love? Why do we bother?

 

[terri]

Cause there's an off chance it will go the OTHER way, and then we get to be all mushy and gushy inside ....which is another part of being human.

You just don't know until you open your mouth what's gonna happen....and I agree, it's the kind of crap shoot a lot of us can do withOUT.

Love is hell. :hug::

 

[JonMikal]

ferny, i love ya man!

 

[ShutteredEye]

Hang tough. At least you could describe that in a paragraph or two. My last toxic relationship took 6 years to fizzle.

The right person is out there, I promise.

 

[Nikon Fan]

I'm hearing you at the moment Ferny...

 

[MDowdey]

love is merely a chemical reaction in the brain caused by desire. We can actually turn that off if we choose, but most seldom dont.

i feel ya too fern...

md

 

[Xmetal]

It's another one of those inexplicable things we do as humans and can't help it. I've been with my g/f for longer than a year now and it keeps getting better and better! (although I was a tad worried when the 'M' word was mentioned) There is no need to worry about it 'turning nasty' if you - like a lot of things - put time and effort into it and love will treat you well.

Now pull your thumb out of your arse and go find a girl because sitting on the Internet all day gets you no where.

 

[Meysha]

Ohh I know how you feel. I've been there before.
But I was actually the girl who got sick of the guy who liked me. I was so depressed for months because I was with this guy that I no longer liked in that special way but I stayed with him, then when I finally did break up with him, he was just so upset. He didn't see it coming at all, which made me feel even worse because he was such a great friend as well. Then to make things worse, the guy that I wanted to be with completely rejected me. :-(

Love is absolute torture when it doesn't go the way you want. But when it's right, it is so perfect. We bother because we're pack animals, it's in our genes to find a mate. Plus that physical touch is pure heaven. It's the little things I miss most of my boyfriend - the hugs and holding hands.

You'll find someone, even a few people!! (woohoo go ferny!) And well, if you don't, I still owe you a plane ticket. hehe ;-)

 

[Artemis]

I dunno...never been in love, partly cause im not old enough to know what love is...but ive liked a girl a lot for a while...thats the closest I got...and it hurt

 

[Aoide]

What's the point in love? Why do we bother?

We bother because we're pack animals, it's in our genes to find a mate. Plus that physical touch is pure heaven.

I think this is a big part of it. It is in our nature to seek someone out, to share our lives with someone and to belong.

I have asked myself these very same questions time and again... and last year I tried throwing myself into work to drown out these feelings, but it didn't work. And I know it is hard when everyone says you'll find someone because sometimes that just doesn't help. Trust me you are not alone in these feelings. But promise me if you find the answers to your questions you will pass them along. Chocolate only goes so far! :er:

 

[treehuggerhikerboy]

I'll play devils advocate here...

Why does everyone say there is someone special for them? Not too sure about that...and I'm not to keen on the soulmate idea either...there's about 6.5 billion people in the world, 51% women, say 5% are homosexual, assuming you're heterosexual and considering age groups, that still leaves you with at least 800 million people of the opposite sex that you could be interested in....take into consideration language barriers and such, and you're still up in the hundred millions. Now how many people have you run into that you could potentially marry? 100's??? I'd buy a lottery ticket if I found my 'soulmate'. And what about the homosexuals, the odds are even drastically less for them.

I think it's a distinct possibility that many people won't find what they're looking for and will end up settling for less, it's human nature...but that's alright too if they're happier with that person than being alone. There is no rule that says you will find the right person for you.

Having said that...I'm all for love. Rock on.

 

[Raymond J Barlow]

wow, great discussion, here is my view..

I love woman, I can't stand selfishness, I love sweetness, I can't stand misery.. we are all equiped with the good and the bad, so we need to understand our potential mates, and pursue meeting a suitable person to share/witness life with.

I live my life for my wife's happiness, and she does the same for me. We both need to lose ourselves for the partners benefit. It's a wonderful place to be, if you both have the capacity to do so.

At 46, and being married to a 22 year old philippina whom is still in her home country is a difficult place to be, but the wait will be well worth the sacrifice. I can't explain the chemistry we share here, in a few words, but it is magical.

As for advice, and answer to your questions.. true love and real happiness is rare, like a great athlete, we all wish to have those skills, but most are incapable, but when we have a chance, we get out there and give it a shot.

Please try to keep a good attitude, be as funny as you can, tickle, poke fun, be crazy as when you were a child, and think of your mate first, before every thought.. good luck!!

 

[meotter]

i read somewhere that the amount of pain you feel when you break up with somebody is directly proportional to the amount of joy you experience when you were with that same person.

i can't agree more... and the good times are worth the bad.

hmm... i'll go find the poem and post it.

 

[meotter]

The pain we feel
When someone leaves our life
Is in direct proportion
To the joy they bring
While a part of our life
-Javan

I highly recommend these little books of thought. You can find them in thepoetry section of most major bookstores... although this isn't his most profound piece, it's fitting for this thread

 

[treehuggerhikerboy]

Ferny...just love for the sake of love dude, you'll be fine.