love

[meotter]

my opinion is obviously based on my experiences. the reasoning i gave to somebody else who had a dissenting opinion from me was something like this:

If you never give the other person a chance to hurt you, there is a very good chance that they won't hurt you... equally, because you're wall of defense is so strong, they probably didn't give you all that much joy either. the reason? because you didn't allow them to.

in order for you to really enjoy somebody, i think you have to be vulnerable to them... and with that vulnerability comes the risk of being hurt... baddly.

i suppose there is a chance that the moment you open yourself up and trust somebody, they could burn you and thus end your relationship and in turn you'd have never gotten a chance to experience anything good of it, but i'm not sure i know a lot of people who would open themselves up to that level of emotional hurt, unless there was established trust.

 

[photogoddess]

Why love? Because even when you spend most of your life with love laughing in your face taunting you, there's always the possibility that you will find the one person that is right for you. The one person that has the ability to make your whole world feel better with a single word, that loves you in a way that you've only imagined and dreamed of being loved. A person that you love in return, with everything that you are. When you find that kind of love, it makes all the years of heartaches and lonliness vanish.

Keep with it Ferny. There's someone out there for you. You'll probably find them when you are not looking or expecting it. :hugs:

 

[Corry]

The pain we feel
When someone leaves our life
Is in direct proportion
To the joy they bring
While a part of our life
-Javan

I believe this to be true, and I think that is exactly why people are afraid to open themselves up to people...I mean truly open themselves up enough to allow themselves to feel and give true love. I know I'm scared to death of the pain...but yet I've totally opened myself up anyway....

That said...considering I believe the above saying is true...if Erik and I ever break up, I'll be in enough pain that I will have felt like I died. BUT....here's another saying that I feel is true... "it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved it all".

You have to just go for it and jump in. Don't live life without ever experiencing love.

 

[ferny]

It's all a load of pointless ****. This wanting and needing people. It's a waste of tiem. I think I'll put it into my "given up" pile with many other things.
That little stack just keeps getting bigger.

 

[mentos_007]

I'm with you Fern...

 

[ShutteredEye]

It's all a load of pointless ****. This wanting and needing people. It's a waste of tiem. I think I'll put it into my "given up" pile with many other things.
That little stack just keeps getting bigger.

Or yeah, you could take the easy way out.

 

[ferny]

Easy, or the only?

 

[terri]

meh - you and Mentos sound bitter. :hug:: It's an awful feeling. So maybe putting love on the "given up" pile IS exactly what you should do. :meh: Don't ask for much, then you can't be hurt when you don't get much, right??

Hey, it's a philosophy that probably works for a lot of people. No can judge another's pain, or tell another they should constantly be willing to open themselves to yet another hurt. So go ahead, close that door. It may actually make you feel empowered again, ready to turn your thoughts and energies elsewhere, and move ahead. :thumbup: There are other things to do with your life, that can motivate and excite you.

But since most people have such great gifts inside them, their wit and intelligence and compassion, I'm not sure that it's a door that can one can expect to stay closed forever. I think - and hope - we all reach a day when we're emotionally ready to at least crack that door open if you know something's out there tapping on it.

 

[Alison]

Nicely said, Terri. I can't add anything to that!

 

[mentos_007]

Ferny maybe we should meet??

EDIT:
ooopss I forgot I'm getting married to MD

 

[ferny]

Not bitter, just fed up. I've had enough of a lot of thing lately. Like I said, that pile is getting bigger.

I think - and hope - we all reach a day when we're emotionally ready to at least crack that door open if you know something's out there tapping on it.

That'd never happen. Partly because I know I wouldn't let it. What can I say? I'm a freak.

 

[thebeginning]

What's the point in love? Why do we bother?

that in itself is a good point.

 

[terri]

Not bitter, just fed up. I've had enough of a lot of thing lately. Like I said, that pile is getting bigger.

That'd never happen. Partly because I know I wouldn't let it. What can I say? I'm a freak.

Thank god for freak magnets, then, eh? :mrgreen: Perhaps you will find yourself being stalked by one some day, who is pesky and doesn't mind clawing outside that door because she thinks you're worth the effort. :sillysmi:

 

[treehuggerhikerboy]

I agree with Terri....go ahead and shut the door dude, it's ok.



Or maybe you and Mentos should hang out together. Hubba hubba!

 

[thebeginning]

Not bitter, just fed up. I've had enough of a lot of thing lately. Like I said, that pile is getting bigger.

That'd never happen. Partly because I know I wouldn't let it. What can I say? I'm a freak.

i agree with you. Love is not pointless however. But then again what many people call love is not love at all, but merely a form of selfish desire. Love is not associated with like. Liking someone is a great thing, but liking someone a whole lot doesnt mean you love them. Love is an action, not a feeling. That's why that whole 'love at first sight' thing is a load of crap. It is possible to hate someone's guts and still love them. Let's take this at a metaphorical angle. One night a man and his daughter were fighting. They were both shouting at each other at the top of their lungs, and the girl slammed the door and ran outside. The father shouted after her and told her to grab her coat because it was cold outside and he didnt want her to catch anything. He cared about her even though he was at odds with her. That's love. Not an ushy-gushy feeling inside, that is just feelings of affections for someone else...or just lust. Liking someone like that isn't wrong, but it is often wasted on personal desires and is pointless. If you marry someone, loving them is a given. That's why all these shows and movies lately just annoy the heck out of me because they all tell each other 'I love you' but for all the wrong reasons...So, my suggestion. take it at a much more relaxed stance. Don't worry about the whole thing. The right someone will come. Just don't make a commitment with someone just because you are attracted to them (physically or emotionally). It should be much much more than that. If both of you tackle the commitment by that stance, it is much more beneficial.