Money isn't everything

[Josh66]

So, I have a pretty nice job, I make a 'comfortable' salary, and we get a lot of overtime. I hate my job though. I hate the culture. Just starting to wonder why I'm really here. The money, I guess.

I SOOO badly want to just quit and move, probably back to Fort Worth. Any other job I take will be a pay cut - I've decided that I don't care anymore. I just can't do it though, for some reason. So, mostly subconsciously I think, I've been pushing the boundaries lately, to see what they will put up with before they fire me. I don't really *want* to get fired, and I have never been fired before - but I think getting fired may be just what I need right now. Sort of force me into action.

I am fortunate enough to work in a field and geographic area where jobs are plentiful, so I'm not too worried about finding work. I've just been "sticking it out" because the pay is good and I get a pension.


I'm driving myself crazy over this, and I think it may be making me physically ill. I just have no motivation to clock in every day anymore. I feel like the only reason to stay is to add years to my pension. I'm just not convinced that the cost is worth the benefit anymore. It's "just a job" to me now, and has been for a while.


Have you ever just packed up and moved, find a job when you got there? I've done it once before, it was rough but I survived - I was also single and didn't have kids then. I think I might be doing it again very soon. *This* can't go on for much longer... Maybe it's a midlife crisis or something, except that I don't think I'm old enough to be having that, lol. Anyway, I feel like change is desperately needed, and soon. "My feet are itching", as I have heard it described before.


Sorry... Didn't really want to put all this out there, but I just felt like I had to. Just to help me make up my mind. What is really important?

 

[table1349]

Josh, I think that your idea is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Don't get me wrong, and please read this through, I completely sympathize with you are your situation. However, unless this job offers you no free time, no vacation etc. quitting and moving is not a good idea. If your particular skills are in enough demand as you say they are, take a few days off, a vacation say, and go to Fort Worth, line up a new job and then quit the old one. A prospective employer will generally look more favorably on an applicant that is looking to change positions than one that is currently unemployed. In the back of their minds they tend to wonder.

Also this way you can leave your old job in a proper manner. Sometimes those little things can go a long way latter on in life.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do. I have been there, but I didn't do that. Instead I went out an found a new job, gave my two week notice and left on good terms. Same thing with my wife. She left a low level job several years ago at a bank on good terms. 5 years ago the bank came looking for her and offered her a senior VP job heading a department of the bank. Burnt bridges are just hard to cross back over once you have burned them.

 

[Tiller]

I would quit rather than be fired. Being fired is sometimes looked down upon by new employers.

There's no reason to be miserable. Include your family in your decision, make sure they're on board, and then leave. I might try to already have a job lined up before I leave however.

Leave on good terms with your employer as well.

That's all I got. Good luck!!

 

[Newtricks]

Josh, take a deep breath, exhale and let it go. Unless you boss puts you in a place where you feel the need to knock his/her teeth out... just relax and let it go and look for another job while you still have this one and do not put anyone in the ground prematurely.

 

[Josh66]

Part of me want's to 'do it right' and just give my notice. That would honestly be the safest/easiest way. I'd really like to avoid getting fired (for what it's worth, I've heard that when you get fired here they give you the option to just quit and save face - and also forgo unemployment).

I'm an aircraft mechanic, and the DFW area is basically the place to be for that profession - I get job offers in my email weekly. So I know I can get a job. Really, the only variables are pay and benefits.


I've just grown so tired of this, lol. It may be too late anyway - I've been sick for the last week and haven't been to work yet this week. There's a fair chance that I'll get fired when I go in tomorrow. I'm out of PTO, and attendance is the thing they watch most closely here. You can basically do whatever you want as long as you're never late and show up every day.

It just seems like "everything is wrong" lately. Don't really know how else to explain it.

 

[Josh66]

It just feels like the "self destruct" button has already been pressed, and I'm just watching the countdown, and eating popcorn.

 

[bribrius]

you need a couple weeks off, a good drunk and a better hooker. Then you will feel fine

 

[Josh66]

I wish it was that simple, lol.

I do need a vacation though. Can't remember when I last had one...

 

[bribrius]

I wish it was that simple, lol.

I do need a vacation though. Can't remember when I last had one...

if you have kids and a wife take it without them. So you actually get one.

 

[Overread]

My views:

1) You're currently ill - illness often makes is make very bad snap choices that, in the light of feeling better, we feel really darned daft at making. Even if the illness isn't life threatening the breakdown can make you think in very short blocks of time and with twisted priorities to what you normally have.

2) It sounds like you want to move on; but don't want to actually make the first step, so you want someone else to make it for you. Life has taught me that that is generally a very bad approach in the instance you're describing. Don't listen to rumour that you might get allowed to leave and "Save face". Simply start by first looking for other jobs, heck talk to a few people if they are contacting you for work and discuss with them the options.
IF you have a job and someone is sending you offers for work you've got a much stronger position to negotiate better pay - working hours - holidays. If you get fired you're putting all the balls in their court and giving them the concern of "well he was an ok worker - then he got fired; maybe he's got a problem and employing him is going to end up causing us trouble."

3) If you have any dependants sit down and discuss things with them calmly; explain your feelings and intentions. You'll find them far more accepting and willing to agree to things like a reduced amount of income coming into the family if it means you can get a better job - maybe one that offers you more holiday time to spend with them or even just a few more hours a week to be with them.

4) look at job ads but make no choices until you're well recovered (assuming its a passing illness with no long term effects). You want a sound clear mind for making big choices so don't be wrapped up with things like illness or charged emotions.

You're in a good position and thinking about a move - be bold and brave and make the first move by looking around the market. There's no harm in it.

Actually if you start to really get a mind to switching careers having an honest chat with your employer is also a very sensible move. Depending on your relationship with them they might be willing to provide good references and the like. It's worth a try and far better than having to ask for references from someone who's just fired you.

 

[runnah]

Well I've switched twice and both times I ended up in a better place than where I was.

It may seem daunting at first but if you are in a bad place mentally at work it effects all aspects of your life.

Sleep on it.

 

[bribrius]

Well I've switched twice and both times I ended up in a better place than where I was.

It may seem daunting at first but if you are in a bad place mentally at work it effects all aspects of your life.

Sleep on it.

I totally get that. Im sticking with the good drunk first. sometimes people just need a break. Many people get to this point, and just change jobs. But this isn't always good. As I know quite a few people that have gone through multiple career or job changes. If you stay, with a employer. you tend to move up in both salary, time off, tenor. They usually can the new hires first. Better hours, more priviledges. Time with the company can be BIG depending on the company. Factored into promotions. Amount in retirement accounts or company contributions toward retirement. Even medical care coverages. Everything. The people I know that get this way, and change jobs, change again, change again.
usually they end up working for a boss that is younger than they are and they are entry level at fourty five years old with no accrued or tenor based time off or decent pay.

 

[manaheim]

I have worked a job where I was forced to work 80 hours a week as a salaried employee, and pretty much required to be treated like absolute **** by every vice president in the company.

I have worked a job where the man I worked for was actively working to fire everyone around me, all because they made him look bad by performing their jobs with competence.

I have worked a job where I was stuck in the basement of a federal building... in the dark... in the cold. I was sick every other month because the air quality was so staggeringly bad, and I am a person who never gets sick. The people I worked for knew NOTHING about either what they did, or what I did, and yet treated me like an absolute moron for ever suggesting anything to make the place better.

I have worked in some awful situations.

What I can tell you is this... no matter how bad it seems, there's actually a good chance it can be a whole hell of a lot worse. I have a coffee mug that I got at that federal job as a reminder of just how bad it can get. Any time I start getting a little grumpy about my current job, I go grab myself a cup of coffee and stare at that mug... and remember.

 

[runnah]

I have worked a job where I was forced to work 80 hours a week as a salaried employee, and pretty much required to be treated like absolute **** by every vice president in the company. I have worked a job where the man I worked for was actively working to fire everyone around me, all because they made him look bad by performing their jobs with competence. I have worked a job where I was stuck in the basement of a federal building... in the dark... in the cold. I was sick every other month because the air quality was so staggeringly bad, and I am a person who never gets sick. The people I worked for knew NOTHING about either what they did, or what I did, and yet treated me like an absolute moron for ever suggesting anything to make the place better. I have worked in some awful situations. What I can tell you is this... no matter how bad it seems, there's actually a good chance it can be a whole hell of a lot worse. I have a coffee mug that I got at that federal job as a reminder of just how bad it can get. Any time I start getting a little grumpy about my current job, I go grab myself a cup of coffee and stare at that mug... and remember.

Well the glass is half empty!

Yes thing could get worse but they also can get better!

 

[manaheim]

They can, but it's really a crap shoot.

My point is only don't let yourself get TOO wound up about how horrible a place is, when there's a good chance it's just basically as annoying as everyplace else.

When you boil it all down... work kinda sucks.