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And Ill also add that when your shooting with light I have been told to think about the subject. Woman do not tend to look best with hard shadows unless your going straight for edge. She's a pretty girl, hair is soft and curly I think soft light would have worked better but keep practicing and asking for feedback. I have learned so much here from others help. Don't get discouraged.
You know, it's possible to get a 3:1 lighting ratio by placing a main flash at say 5.6 feet from the subject, off to one side and angled, and then to position an identically-powered flash right next to the camera lens, but fired from 8 feet. It might be surprising to you to find that 2.0 feet, 2.8 feet, 4 feet, 5.6 feet, 8 feet, 11 feet, and 16 feet are intervals of distances where flash varies in power by one stop between each neighboring distance...
I think these would have looked much better had the camera been oriented to the tall or portrait orientation. Some fill light, right next to the lens, would have softened those deep shadows.