The Coffee House

[SquarePeg43 4]

We're in a very small city that's more like a small town. I can walk to our downtown area (on sidewalks) in about 10 minutes for restaurants, shopping, errands etc. Most of the schools are within walking distance. In the other direction is a fairly large mall that is about a 15 minute walk. I know a lot of people in town (been here 17 years) from the schools, softball league, my church and volunteer work plus we try to utilize local businesses whenever possible. I could not walk for more than 5 minutes without seeing someone I know at least casually. I enjoy the social aspects of a tightly knit community. Maybe because I work mostly at home and via computer so don't get a lot of that from work.

To Gary's point, we are 20 minutes from the beach, 1 hour from Maine, 2 hours in various directions will get you to Cape Cod, NH mountains or Berkshires and a quick train or uber from Downtown Boston. Farm country is a bit further out - Western Mass which, while not technically another state, really should be. It's nice to have options. If we could skip winter, it would be perfect. When I retire and become a snow bird, it will be.

Wade - if I'm not in the mood for chitchat I just nod and say how are you but don't break pace. Everyone knows that's the universal sign for on a mission don't bother me.

 

[limr36 5]

Even suburbia is a bit tricky. At least in the TriState area. Suburbia can get pretty crowded, too. I don't want to be able to see into my neighbor's house. In fact, I'd prefer to not see their house at all

The wife and I live in a small townhouse community (probably 40-45 units). When I take the dog out, I don't want to talk to anyone. Yet, people treat it like gossip hour and yell to me across the street. I feel obligated to wave to literally everyone that drives through.

Some of the younger folk (I act like I'm not young, ha) treat it like a dorm. They invite people over for beer, etc. It's terrifying, because I don't want to interact with them. It's my home, so I want to be free to do what I want and not feel trapped.. eh, um, I mean, obligated to stand there for three hours listening to them drone on. I don't want to fear that they see my car in the driveway, or lights on in the house, and think that I'm home and ignoring them. Frustrating.

Absolutely. Not having to interact with people is especially important for me because my work often forces me into pretending I'm an extrovert, and pulling me out of my comfort zone when I have to call people or have uncomfortable conversations, or even just engage in small talk (which is not easy for me so it takes a lot of energy.) When I go home, I really need sanctuary from the talking and interacting. I don't want to be rude to anyone, but I just have no energy left to deal with people.

 

[Frank F.]

I like being able to take a walk without having to talk to people. If I knew that taking a walk meant talking to a bunch of people, I'd never leave the house. Living in a city is stressful and exhausting for me. (And yes, I've done it, so it's not just a theoretical. It's not for me.) Even suburbia is a bit tricky. At least in the TriState area. Suburbia can get pretty crowded, too. I don't want to be able to see into my neighbor's house. In fact, I'd prefer to not see their house at all

I'm fine going into the city for the day or even to work in a place with a lot of activity all day, but when I go home, I need to lay my head down in a place where I can't hear human activity. Crickets and frogs, maybe the wind or rain. I also like to be able to see the stars.

My plan is to live in the city and buy a farm near the city. I want to spend my day with the plants and animals and go back to the city at night for my wife and kids and friends. I dream to feed my quarter in the city from my farm, take their wishes and grow for them...

 

[waday]

Even suburbia is a bit tricky. At least in the TriState area. Suburbia can get pretty crowded, too. I don't want to be able to see into my neighbor's house. In fact, I'd prefer to not see their house at all

The wife and I live in a small townhouse community (probably 40-45 units). When I take the dog out, I don't want to talk to anyone. Yet, people treat it like gossip hour and yell to me across the street. I feel obligated to wave to literally everyone that drives through.

Some of the younger folk (I act like I'm not young, ha) treat it like a dorm. They invite people over for beer, etc. It's terrifying, because I don't want to interact with them. It's my home, so I want to be free to do what I want and not feel trapped.. eh, um, I mean, obligated to stand there for three hours listening to them drone on. I don't want to fear that they see my car in the driveway, or lights on in the house, and think that I'm home and ignoring them. Frustrating.

Absolutely. Not having to interact with people is especially important for me because my work often forces me into pretending I'm an extrovert, and pulling me out of my comfort zone when I have to call people or have uncomfortable conversations, or even just engage in small talk (which is not easy for me so it takes a lot of energy.) When I go home, I really need sanctuary from the talking and interacting. I don't want to be rude to anyone, but I just have no energy left to deal with people.

Agree. so. much. It's mentally draining and exhausting.

My supervisor often pushes networking networking networking. I hate networking with a passion.

 

[limr36 5]

We're in a very small city that's more like a small town. I can walk to our downtown area (on sidewalks) in about 10 minutes for restaurants, shopping, errands etc. Most of the schools are within walking distance. In the other direction is a fairly large mall that is about a 15 minute walk. I know a lot of people in town (been here 17 years) from the schools, softball league, my church and volunteer work plus we try to utilize local businesses whenever possible. I could not walk for more than 5 minutes without seeing someone I know at least casually. I enjoy the social aspects of a tightly knit community. Maybe because I work mostly at home and via computer so don't get a lot of that from work.

To Gary's point, we are 20 minutes from the beach, 1 hour from Maine, 2 hours in various directions will get you to Cape Cod, NH mountains or Berkshires and a quick train or uber from Downtown Boston. Farm country is a bit further out - Western Mass which, while not technically another state, really should be. It's nice to have options. If we could skip winter, it would be perfect. When I retire and become a snow bird, it will be.

Wade - if I'm not in the mood for chitchat I just nod and say how are you but don't break pace. Everyone knows that's the universal sign for on a mission don't bother me.

I used to live in White Plains, which is technically a city, and I could walk to the downtown area, or to the MetroNorth train station and be in Manhattan in half an hour. I was a short drive to more open spaces. I could get to beach, mountains, or city within an hour.

Still, I felt cramped where I was living. I moved north to the outer suburbs. I am no longer in walking distance to any kind of town and it takes me longer to get to work or to the city. However, I am much more relaxed during the day, knowing that no matter how hectic or loud it can get on campus, I have a quiet place to go home to where I can snuggle with kitties. And it's still not hard to get to MetroNorth when I need a city fix, it's easier to get to Maine and saltwater beaches, and I can see stars

 

[limr36 5]

I like being able to take a walk without having to talk to people. If I knew that taking a walk meant talking to a bunch of people, I'd never leave the house. Living in a city is stressful and exhausting for me. (And yes, I've done it, so it's not just a theoretical. It's not for me.) Even suburbia is a bit tricky. At least in the TriState area. Suburbia can get pretty crowded, too. I don't want to be able to see into my neighbor's house. In fact, I'd prefer to not see their house at all

I'm fine going into the city for the day or even to work in a place with a lot of activity all day, but when I go home, I need to lay my head down in a place where I can't hear human activity. Crickets and frogs, maybe the wind or rain. I also like to be able to see the stars.

My plan is to live in the city and buy a farm near the city. I want to spend my day with the plants and animals and go back to the city at night for my wife and kids and friends. I dream to feed my quarter in the city from my farm, take their wishes and grow for them...

I love the idea of growing my own food (except I'm terrible with plants and hate being outside in the summer! ). You and I don't necessarily want different things - we just want them in reverse!

 

[Gary A.]

I like being able to take a walk without having to talk to people. If I knew that taking a walk meant talking to a bunch of people, I'd never leave the house. Living in a city is stressful and exhausting for me. (And yes, I've done it, so it's not just a theoretical. It's not for me.) Even suburbia is a bit tricky. At least in the TriState area. Suburbia can get pretty crowded, too. I don't want to be able to see into my neighbor's house. In fact, I'd prefer to not see their house at all

I'm fine going into the city for the day or even to work in a place with a lot of activity all day, but when I go home, I need to lay my head down in a place where I can't hear human activity. Crickets and frogs, maybe the wind or rain. I also like to be able to see the stars.

You go me on stars. lol ... even without light pollution, way too much Marine Layer for star gazing. Joshua Tree in the Mojave is a wonderful place for star gazing and solitude ... not many jobs there.

 

[waday]

and I can see stars

Some friends of the wife came down from NYC a few weeks ago. They are the type of people who think that NYC is better than everything else (see the attached image). They also tend to work it into every conversation, which just has a way of belittling the area you live in. Yeah, I have to be nice to them.

Well, we had a late dinner, and as we were walking into our house, they looked up at the stars. I said, "You don't see those in the City."

 

[Gary A.]

Gary has lived in many places around the world, Asia, Central America, Africa and Europe. He has been all over the USA. But California is his home by birth and choice.

PS- Gary's neighborhood is peaceful and generally quiet. Gary and Maggie are surrounded by parks and horse trails within easy walking. We have green walls which adds significantly to our personal quiet and privacy. Again, a nice compromise between urban and country life.

 

[smoke665]

Love our our little corner of the world. We are in the country, in the center of the property, high enough up that even though there are neighbors around, tree cover prevents seeing them, or them seeing us. Heavy traffic on the road is 2 or 3 cars per hour. Yet we are 15 mins from 3 Super WM's, 45 mins. from Birmingham, 2 hrs from Atlanta, 4 hrs from the Smokies, and 6 hrs from the coast.

 

[waday]

Wade - if I'm not in the mood for chitchat I just nod and say how are you but don't break pace. Everyone knows that's the universal sign for on a mission don't bother me.

That's a good tip. I'll try it.

 

[Gary A.]

Hosers ... Miss Maggie has used the doggie door for the first time of her own volition.

 

[waday]

Heavy traffic on the road is 2 or 3 cars per hour.

Meanwhile, the highway around us is being expanded to three lanes each way, and it will still likely be undersized. The one bridge crossing the major river here is already 4 lanes each way in some places and it's gridlocked traffic every day.

 

[Gary A.]

Hosers ... Miss Maggie has used the doggie door for the first time of her own volition.

PS- Gary just might keep her.

After a hard day at the office.

 

[smoke665]

@waday I still drive in traffic, just came in from a 1000 mile trip during which we encountered some heavy traffic areas. With trailer we are right at 75' overall length, and 102" wide, so it always makes for some tense moments when you're in 6 to 8 lane traffic. The stress of the being constantly alert is taking more of a toll on me. At one time, driving 10-12 hours straight would have been possible, but now I find that 7 hrs is pretty much the limit for me. I couldn't live in such high traffic areas anymore, my temperament, and nerves wouldn't handle it.