My Morning Scare
Every morning just after daylight, Sadie and I walk the fire lanes/trails around the property. At the farthest point of the loop we make, the trail traverses a section of dark and dreary swamp. Today, as I approached the entrance I thought I detected moaning, but the wind was blowing, so I just assumed that it was the sound that the wind sometimes makes in the trees and continued on.
As we got deeper into the darkness the sound became louder, and caused the hair to rise up on my neck. Just as we rounded a corner in the trail, ahead in the murky light I could see something on the ground. My hand instinctively went to the pistol I always carry in the woods. I called Sadie in close and eased up to investigate. There on the ground was an elderly woman in tattered, filthy clothes, laying face down, and moaning softly.
Having been trained as a First Responder, I gently reached down to roll her over. Without warning she grabbed my hand and started trying bite it, as if she would chew it off. Without hesitation I smacked her on the head with the pistol hard enough that it startled her into letting go. Immediately I started backing up, but the old woman, quick as a snake grabbed my leg and started pulling it.
Kind of like I'm pulling yours

Now that I've hopefully brought a smile to your face, y'all have a great Saturday!