The different sciences

[The_Traveler]

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are all sitting in a cafe having coffee and they see two people enter a house across the street. Then some time later, three emerge. The physicist says, “The measurement wasn’t accurate.” The biologist says, “They have reproduced.” The mathematician says, “If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again.”

 

[table1349]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect. Apparently he was ambidextrose.

Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes!

Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium.