Vacation Tale #1: The Great Daquiri Con


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Oct 4, 2011
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The Beautiful Hills of East Tennessee
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So, I just got back from a vacation to St. Simon's Island. Yes, it was awesome. Yes, I'm feeling a bit bitter and resentful to be back at work instead of out on the beach or hanging out in the marshes.
Yes, pictures will be forthcoming--almost entirely pictures of birds; not much else. One or two sunrises and such, but mostly birds. Because we did three things on this vacation--laid out at the beach, went out hunting birds, and ate. And ate. And ate. :D (Oh, and I drank--my sister cannot abide the taste of alcohol, but I restored balance to the world but drinking her share too...)

Anyway--THIS little tale is about one of the beach days. It was GORGEOUS weather, just a few clouds here and there, and nice and hot! And I'm laying there, thoroughly enjoying the beach when it occurs to me how lovely a frozen Margarita or Daquiri would be at that moment. So we ask the LifeGuard/Beach Attendant and he tells us where we can get drinks within walking distance of our beach spot.

I mostly drank margaritas while there, but this place had a mango daiquiri and I decided to try it. It was so hot out that when the frozen drink came, I probably downed about half of it before I realized that it tasted like it had NO alcohol in it. I remarked on this to my sister and asked her to try it. Now, my sister cannot STAND the taste of alcohol, ANY alcohol. She hates it! I've made really, really weak drinks before, where I could only taste the very slightest hint of alcohol and she almost gagged when she tried it. She's like a canary in a coal mine; if there is the SLIGHTEST bit of alcohol in that drink, she'll taste it.

She took a sip...and then another. Nothing. There was NO alcohol.

So, when the waiter came back, I told him there was no alcohol in my alcoholic beverage. His response:

"Oh, well, the frozen daquiris BY DEFAULT come without alcohol. If you want alcohol in them, you have to ask."

WTF??? :raisedbrow:
I said, "Oh, really? Well, not only is that the dumbest thing I ever heard, but I'd really like to know WHY the drink menu shows the kind of rum that comes in the drink, if in fact, BY DEFAULT, there IS NO rum in it?"
The waiter looked at the drink menu, and realized that telling me the drinks are virgin "by default" isn't exactly the smartest move, when the drink menu shows all the ingredients that come in your drink, and includes the freakin' alcohol.

So, he apologizes and leaves with my drink to talk to the bartender, saying he'll get me a fresh one.

Then he comes back--with the same, half-finished, but now completely Unfrozen, daquiri, and hands it back to me. Then he explains that the bartender says you *can't* taste the alcohol in it because of the way it's made; they make them a certain way that completely MASKS the taste of alcohol and if you WANT to taste the alcohol, you need to ask for him to make it "floated."

I have been drinking mixed drinks for longer than this waiter has been alive (and quite likely the bartender as well) and I explained that that was THE largest bunch of poppycock I'd ever heard, and that the MUCH more likely explanation for my drink have NO taste of alcohol AT ALL was that there was NO friggin' alcohol in it!!

Good grief!! Really?? I mean, I know you can "mask" the flavor of the alcohol, but in over 30 years of drinking mixed drinks, I've never had one that you couldn't taste the alcohol in AT ALL, unless it was just a weak-*ss drink.

These people are just selling high-priced fruit drinks--which is one thing, but when you get CAUGHT at it, just pour some durn rum in my drink instead of insulting my intelligence with some cr*p about how you mixed it just right so the alcohol can't be detected.

Other than that, it was a fabulously awesome vacation. :lmao:

dang.. how am I gonna get'cha drunk on something like that? ;)
how uncivilized. imagine how much $$ they are making charging booze prices for fruit juice and ice to people that dont notice.
how uncivilized. imagine how much $$ they are making charging booze prices for fruit juice and ice to people that dont notice.

That's EXACTLY what they're doing. And I bet it works way, WAY more often than not. Like I said, it was so hot, that you just suck that nice, frozen drink down. I'm a slow drinker; most people would probably have already finished it before they cooled off enough to realize that they hadn't tasted any alcohol.
But how dumb d'ya have to be to do that on the first drink????? I could see after I've served you a half-dozen drinks that I can down the booze and you won't notice, but the first one????? Really??????
"floated" ?? Learned something new. I wonder if the bartender is skimming the alcohol? He sells a pint's worth in one hour but keeps it for himself.

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