First and foremost: the images you shot and the images you linked have totally different framing. Both of the linked files have the hair on top cropped. This technique gives you a somewhat intimate feeling to being very close with the model. AND: they
ARE really close to the model. The closer you get, the more blurred your background will be.
The image of the indian girl was shot with 192mm at f4 (read from the exif), the other one doesn´t have the exif included, but looking at the bokeh and the depth of focus I´d say it is around 85mm, f5 or so, but I can be wrong. Try similar settings along with getting closer to your model and you will get a very similar results in regard to background blur.
And when it comes to photography, lighting in my opinion is much more important than any lens or camera. Look closely in the eyes of the two linked images. Reflections in the eyes tell you a lot about how an image was lit. The indian girl was shot with a pretty well balanced on camera flash, but there was quite some nice and soft light in the background that was the main light source. The photographer of the older girl probably didn´t use flash, there seems to be some kind of snow, etc. that is reflecting the sun that actually comes from the back of the girl (see the shoulder and the scarve are blown out - which doesn´t really matter). That big light source from the bottom gave this image a very soft look. It was probably retouched quite a bit, boosting the shadows in post (among other things

).
So much for the linked images.
Here´s my try and thoughts on yours, if you don´t mind:
as other said, it was missing direction, placing the bright spot in the middle. I liked the right part more than the left, but since you were standing right and so the road led to the right, I chose to crop this side.
I brightened up the highlights and gave it some local contrast boost, especially in the midtones.
I like the lights and colors, and the mountains.
I´m not really happy with my own edit, but I wanted to prove a point. The hiker was "competing" with the prominent dark mountain, giving the image two center points. While the hiker was well placed, so was the mountain, but both in the opposite direction so the view went left, right, left, right,... Not a smooth image. Also the clouds and the light come from this direction.
Since everything comes from this direction, rather than goes into it, it would have been better IMO if the hiker came from this direction too and was turning around.
A nice image to start with. My edit isn´t particularely great edit, just quick to prove the point again. I don´t mind busy backgrounds as long as it is not as distracting as the bright sign - people are great and add some life to the images. The panda bears are distracting, but that would have been a longer edit

. I cropped the top because a - you had too much headroom and the face was in the middle (vertically), and b - I didn´t like that dark rectangular something in the top left that was very distracting once I removed the glowing sign. Finally I added a vignette around the body of your model to have the background subdued a bit to keep the focus on the girl.
Regarding your railway example: you cropped the toes of your model, and since this is the direction of her walk and the direction of the rails, you removed the direction from your image. I would have left quite some room down there, even though that would have meant even less background blur. You shot the images on the railway on a purpose - to show the girl on the railways, otherwise you could have done it somewhere else too. So you should show the railWAYs.
AND FINALLY:
all this is theory. Analizing images after they are shot is pretty easy. Your images are definitely good and to be honest, I think hardly any professional photographer nails every single shot. Not in digital age. In film days, much more thought went into every single image - not that it was better, I´m not a nostalgic person. But I think if we are honest, we all tend to shoot too quick, and post production has become much more important because it is easier, better and you have many more images in the web to compare your own work to.