Why people tend to judge you for your physical?

[treehuggerhikerboy]

oh dear..... as lafoto said, its not worth pursuing this thread because its bound to go down the wrong road..... but lets just say you seem to have alot in common with someone i'm glad is dead

I've never been compared to Hitler before, that's a first! Sorry, I should've used a different hair/eyes combination, I was just trying to pick the cliche version of pretty....and play devil's advocate.

And Hobbes, I really think that you can discuss the pros/cons of a perfect mail order baby without involving sex/politics/religion...but I can also see how I'd be enabling some things as well, point taken.

Re: pretty people....I think the prejudice can go the other way though as well...I think MANY people instantly label pretty people as shallow, boring, dumb...imperfections don't make you any more real.

I'm a fan of folks who are just themselves, perfect or otherwise.

 

[Chiller]

I am also one who is judged by my looks alone. I choose to be different, and can be "punished" because of this, even before a word is spoken.

But I will never judge a person for their looks. The heart and mind are what controls a person, not their shell. If you choose to judge a person cause they are "beautiful" you might be missing out on the real beauty...what is inside. There are some things that can not be changed in a person, say something physical, so does that make that person different? They still have a heart, and could probably reach out to your heart faster.
I know, I dont look like Tom Cruise, or Fabio. I have a mirror in my bathroom that is cracked from the site of me peering into it every day, but until you have talked to me, you will never really know what is inside or the real me.
Im am clean..I dont drink, I dont do drugs, I dont smoke, but from looking at me you would think I did. It is that typical label again.
But instead of judging a person by physical appearance, or status, or religion, or anything like that, try to find out the real person first. You would be surprised what you are missing.

 

[bace]

Wanting to pass on good genes to your kids isn't a personality defect. Stop acting like people who judge for looks first are the evil of the world. The only people that feel that way are people who GET judged.

Now before you jump on me for saying such a thing, remind yourself that I have tried literally everything in my search for companionship. And I too have fallen for people that I wasn't originally attracted too physically.

Also the notion that unnatractive people have great personalities, and attractive people have bad personalities is pretty broad. Unnatractive people are usually that way for a number or reasons, not just the obvious.

I have been turned on by some 'bigger' women in my day, and I'll tell ya, it had everything to do with their confidence. Not to mention their faces were way too hot to not make out with.

I also think some of the most physically attractive people are friggin nasty because of the way they carry themselves. Bleh.

 

[LaFoto]

It does not seem to me that anyone here is acting like it is a bad sin to try and pass good genes to one's offspring. This is just not the case. Nor are there people here saying that all those who are physically beautiful are naturally shallow. Those are conclusions drawn --- for whichever reason!

What I hear is people speak who have actually been judged by many by their outward appearance only, and in that you may be right: some have spoken who do, indeed, get judged --- and hurt by that shallow judgement. I'm even having an inkling that monicam, who started all this and now withdraws and keeps silent in the background (what kind of behaviour is that?), is one who feels (unjustly) judged.

Of course it is physical attractions that bring people together, you would not spend the night with someone who literally repulses you physically. Though there have always been cases (in my life, for example) where spending time together just talking and finding out about each other first have helped me change my views on someone who at the very first glance would have "fallen through the net" of my - admittedly immediate, I don't think anyone can free themselves from this reaction happening - physical judgement.

So that is what we all think, I guess (and mostly agree upon, actually), that in the end it requires time to get to know someone, and those who are not willing to allow for that time but IMMEDIATELY judge by outward appearance only are the poorer among us, for they miss out on so much.

Do I express myself?

 

[bace]

To clarify, I mean to point out that those who think they're being judged solely by their appearance often aren't. Attitude about ones own appearance is usually how people are judged.

I'm pretty ugly for example, and I walk and talk like a million bucks. It works.

Time and time again, the number one thing that people find attactive about the opposite sex is 'confidence'.

But yes, there are people who judge by looks, and really, who cares about those people anyway? They're the type that don't deserve anyones time regardless of how good looking you are.

 

[aprilraven]

Wanting to pass on good genes to your kids isn't a personality defect. Stop acting like people who judge for looks first are the evil of the world. The only people that feel that way are people who GET judged.

they are, bace....they are.


ok, i am so about to quit this thread, but first, let me just say,
i was told i couldnt have children...ever...

after almost 6 years of marriage i was pregnant...

elated and thrilled mind you....

never.. not once, before, after or during, did i ever think of the "gene" pool for my child....not even physical, mental, emotional..

i wanted a child...to love, hold, protect...i was not gonna love my child per his measurements according to mankind, or anyone else...i try to love unconditionally....

and to me, and me alone, i cringe when i read that you think of the gene pool about your children....that never crossed my mind...all i wanted was exactly what God wanted me to have....even if it meant no child......

your children will be as God intends them,.... whether you believe He is in control or not, is irrelevant...

and the perfect Gene Pool people ..(or not perfect) has just as much of a chance for healthy baby .....or non healthy.....

creation will not be swayed by our pitiful excuse of technology....
nor will the Creator.

 

[LittleMan]

........i wanted a child...to love, hold, protect...i was not gonna love my child per his measurements according to mankind, or anyone else...i try to love unconditionally.......

I agree.... if anyone only loves their child according to their looks or brains.... they have some serious problems...

 

[bace]

they are, bace....they are.


ok, i am so about to quit this thread, but first, let me just say,
i was told i couldnt have children...ever...

after almost 6 years of marriage i was pregnant...

elated and thrilled mind you....

never.. not once, before, after or during, did i ever think of the "gene" pool for my child....not even physical, mental, emotional..

i wanted a child...to love, hold, protect...i was not gonna love my child per his measurements according to mankind, or anyone else...i try to love unconditionally....

and to me, and me alone, i cringe when i read that you think of the gene pool about your children....that never crossed my mind...all i wanted was exactly what God wanted me to have....even if it meant no child......

your children will be as God intends them,.... whether you believe He is in control or not, is irrelevant...

and the perfect Gene Pool people ..(or not perfect) has just as much of a chance for healthy baby .....or non healthy.....

creation will not be swayed by our pitiful excuse of technology....
nor will the Creator.

I'm gonna leave this too. You're clearly missing the point.

Which doesn't surprise me.

 

[aprilraven]

i'm sure its all me, bace....

its never you.

 

[Corry]

Play nice children. If you are getting aggravated, please just walk away from the computer for a while, ok?

 

[Chiller]

I can not have children, and never will be able too....for reasons I will not get into. But I would give anything to be able to have a family. No matter what.
To me , love, family, to be able to see your child grow up, is something very special and should be cherished. Something I will not be able to have. All the stuff about good looking people , or finding the perfect person, or the perfect gene, or having the perfectly moulded child, means nothing to me. I would just love to be able to have that chance, even if it is only once. You should love what you have, before it is taken away.

 

[bace]

i'm sure its all me, bace....

its never you.

Knowing is half the battle.

 

[anicole]

I can not have children, and never will be able too....for reasons I will not get into. But I would give anything to be able to have a family. No matter what.
To me , love, family, to be able to see your child grow up, is something very special and should be cherished. Something I will not be able to have. All the stuff about good looking people , or finding the perfect person, or the perfect gene, or having the perfectly moulded child, means nothing to me. I would just love to be able to have that chance, even if it is only once. You should love what you have, before it is taken away.

:hugs:

as the parent of a child that 'society' judges abnormal ... I totally agree. Wouldn't trade my child for anyone else in the world because to me, he is the perfect child I was meant to have.

 

[Calliope]

I can not have children, and never will be able too....for reasons I will not get into. But I would give anything to be able to have a family. No matter what.
To me , love, family, to be able to see your child grow up, is something very special and should be cherished. Something I will not be able to have. All the stuff about good looking people , or finding the perfect person, or the perfect gene, or having the perfectly moulded child, means nothing to me. I would just love to be able to have that chance, even if it is only once. You should love what you have, before it is taken away.

Awww, Chiller. You may never be able to have children, but you will always have a family! I think I can speak for all DS'ers when I say you are the father of the Dark Side family... which kinda makes you married to Raven who's the dark side mother :mrgreen: !

I think LaFoto said it best above... prejudging someone prior to getting to know them FOR ANY REASON (whether it be looks, race, etc.) is unethical.

 

[anicole]

Awww, Chiller. You may never be able to have children, but you will always have a family! I think I can speak for all DS'ers when I say you are the father of the Dark Side family... which kinda makes you married to Raven who's the dark side mother :mrgreen: !

Does that make "The Corpse Bride" the TPF Theme Movie?