Why teachers drink

[Designer]

Lowered!

You mean lower the grade to C+?

Just say it out loud.

 

[table1349]

This is not a good reason to consume alcohol.

This is. :mrgreen:

 

[limr30 3]

How old are your students?

Most of them are college-aged more or less - early 20s, maybe mid-20s for some of them. Especially in the ENG 101 classes. The classes that I teach now - remedial writing for non-native speakers - have a wider range of ages. I've had students that range from 18 to 58-60 or so.

Lowered!

You mean lower the grade to C+?

Just say it out loud.

Oh duh! *facepalm* Well, that was slow of me :blushing:

 

[Overread16 4]

See I totally get non-english or some from bad schools having bad writing skills and its oft the case that in ones home country one can end up picking up how to write more than one formally learns the structure of the language (which is sometimes why foreign students who do can master a higher level of technical competence).

Though I'm really confused on that pet one - I can only assume the poor student doesn't come from a countryside background - I know those townies are strange strange things in those big urban centres.

 

[Derrel]

I am sort of a night owl, so I want to get myself a pet jaguar.

 

[Gavjenks]

The opening sentence: "Dogs,cats, and owls are three of the most common animals in the animal kingdom today."

Thesis statement: "Pets can behave differently according to how their owners train them, the time of day that they can be allowed to go outside, and the different kinds of foods that they consume every day."

My favorite paragraph: "All three of these common animals have different times of day that they are available to step outside. Dogs are animals that are able to step outside roughly anytime of the day, or in the night. The reasons that they can step outside for exercise is to play with their owners, let their owners take daily and recommended walks with them, and to just play around with themselves. Cats are animals that are roughly the same as dogs, but are probably split in some types of cats that like to step out in the day and who like to step out in the nighttime. Most of the cat family certainly likes to come out in the daytime, but there are some members who like to come out into the nighttime. Black cats, stray street cats and probably jaguars are the most likely of cats that dare the most to come out into the night life. Owls are a completely different story. Owls are the most common of animals to come out only into the nighttime of the world. In the daytime, owls have very bad eyesight and do not even have a clue as to where they are going. They are also the most common of animals for getting the most exercise in the nighttime than any other animal."

Jaguars. Kills me, every time.

It's organized, it's developed, it's grammatical, but...WTF?

I really want to make a detailed powerpoint presentation to go with this essay. With Venn diagrams and a frequency visualization with like 50 owls and jaguars and a lone squirrel, and owls on treadmills and images of laser scanners that identify DNA before rejecting or permitting outdoor access. Or maybe it's some sort of mitochondiral process.

 

[robbins.photo]

I am sort of a night owl, so I want to get myself a pet jaguar.

Jaguar | eBay

There you go brother. Knock yourself out.. lol

 

[robbins.photo]

The opening sentence: "Dogs,cats, and owls are three of the most common animals in the animal kingdom today."

Thesis statement: "Pets can behave differently according to how their owners train them, the time of day that they can be allowed to go outside, and the different kinds of foods that they consume every day."

My favorite paragraph: "All three of these common animals have different times of day that they are available to step outside. Dogs are animals that are able to step outside roughly anytime of the day, or in the night. The reasons that they can step outside for exercise is to play with their owners, let their owners take daily and recommended walks with them, and to just play around with themselves. Cats are animals that are roughly the same as dogs, but are probably split in some types of cats that like to step out in the day and who like to step out in the nighttime. Most of the cat family certainly likes to come out in the daytime, but there are some members who like to come out into the nighttime. Black cats, stray street cats and probably jaguars are the most likely of cats that dare the most to come out into the night life. Owls are a completely different story. Owls are the most common of animals to come out only into the nighttime of the world. In the daytime, owls have very bad eyesight and do not even have a clue as to where they are going. They are also the most common of animals for getting the most exercise in the nighttime than any other animal."

Jaguars. Kills me, every time.

It's organized, it's developed, it's grammatical, but...WTF?

I really want to make a detailed powerpoint presentation to go with this essay. With Venn diagrams and a frequency visualization with like 50 owls and jaguars and a lone squirrel, and owls on treadmills and images of laser scanners that identify DNA before rejecting or permitting outdoor access. Or maybe it's some sort of mitochondiral process.

Sounds like a great proposal for a government grant. Sadly.. lol

 

[limr30 3]

The opening sentence: "Dogs,cats, and owls are three of the most common animals in the animal kingdom today."

Thesis statement: "Pets can behave differently according to how their owners train them, the time of day that they can be allowed to go outside, and the different kinds of foods that they consume every day."

My favorite paragraph: "All three of these common animals have different times of day that they are available to step outside. Dogs are animals that are able to step outside roughly anytime of the day, or in the night. The reasons that they can step outside for exercise is to play with their owners, let their owners take daily and recommended walks with them, and to just play around with themselves. Cats are animals that are roughly the same as dogs, but are probably split in some types of cats that like to step out in the day and who like to step out in the nighttime. Most of the cat family certainly likes to come out in the daytime, but there are some members who like to come out into the nighttime. Black cats, stray street cats and probably jaguars are the most likely of cats that dare the most to come out into the night life. Owls are a completely different story. Owls are the most common of animals to come out only into the nighttime of the world. In the daytime, owls have very bad eyesight and do not even have a clue as to where they are going. They are also the most common of animals for getting the most exercise in the nighttime than any other animal."

Jaguars. Kills me, every time.

It's organized, it's developed, it's grammatical, but...WTF?

I really want to make a detailed powerpoint presentation to go with this essay. With Venn diagrams and a frequency visualization with like 50 owls and jaguars and a lone squirrel, and owls on treadmills and images of laser scanners that identify DNA before rejecting or permitting outdoor access. Or maybe it's some sort of mitochondiral process.

That would probably be kinda awesome, actually! If you ever get bored, I'll send you the other two body paragraphs so you have more data to analyze

 

[runnah]

I really want to make a detailed powerpoint presentation to go with this essay. With Venn diagrams and a frequency visualization with like 50 owls and jaguars and a lone squirrel, and owls on treadmills and images of laser scanners that identify DNA before rejecting or permitting outdoor access. Or maybe it's some sort of mitochondiral process.

lulz, wut bro, u b cray cray

 

[terri35 6]

That particular bit of plonk (awesome word!) came from a placement essay I read. We're a community college so with no entrance requirements, we have students take a placement exam for math, reading and writing. 60-70% of them need remedial work before taking basic college-level classes. Some of them literally take years to get out of the remedial level.

So thankfully, I didn't have to grade this on a A-F scale. This student clearly got placed in remedial writing - can't remember if we put her in the first level or not. Sadly, she probably went to the second level because, "It didn't suck enough." (It's one of our criteria for placing some of these essays!)

Okay, that helps a bit. As in, kinda-sorta. The only way to find out where help is needed in these developmental classes is to get people to write stuff. Too bad you need a shot of something strong by the end of the day to get through reading it.

But bless you, and all teachers, for continuing the struggle - especially where our ESL students are concerned. :thumbup:

 

[limr30 3]

See I totally get non-english or some from bad schools having bad writing skills and its oft the case that in ones home country one can end up picking up how to write more than one formally learns the structure of the language (which is sometimes why foreign students who do can master a higher level of technical competence).

Though I'm really confused on that pet one - I can only assume the poor student doesn't come from a countryside background - I know those townies are strange strange things in those big urban centres.

The native speakers who end up in remedial work are generally there for two reasons:
a) they don't have strong language, writing, or critical thinking skills because of a lack of schooling or a lack of natural talent/ability; or
b) they don't give a crap and have never put any effort.

The first group has a chance at improvement if they work at it. It's hard to overcome 12 years of poor schooling, but it can be and has been done. Even someone who doesn't have a lot of ability can still show improvement.

The second group has a chance too, but a lifetime of not caring or having no consequences is harder to overcome. Many of them still don't want to be in school, but their parents are forcing them to go.

I feel bad for the first group of students, and as painful as some of the writing may be, if they have the right attitude and do their work, then I can deal with them. That's one of the reasons why I stick to the international students. They are much more likely to have a positive attitude and a willingness to bust their asses to get better. It can still be emotionally draining. I once taught a class of 21 people - 20 of them were from the same three villages in Ecuador, and most of them could not read in Spanish. (This was just an ESL language class, not a writing class.) If all I did was teach them a couple of phrases and get them to stop saying, "I am agree" then that was fine.

It's hard when you see the students who have really hit the limit of their ability, though. They work hard and are so hopeful, but sometimes it's just clear that they're never really going to "get it." And yet, we keep trying.

But that second group of students? The ones who miss every other class and think they can just make up all the work at the end of the term, and I'll just smile and accept work that is months past the due date? The ones who think I'm too stupid to catch them when they copy and paste from Wikipedia and try to pass it off as an essay? No mercy.

 

[Overread16 4]

But that second group of students? The ones who miss every other class and think they can just make up all the work at the end of the term, and I'll just smile and accept work that is months past the due date? The ones who think I'm too stupid to catch them when they copy and paste from Wikipedia and try to pass it off as an essay? No mercy.

No mercy agreed - but I often think that the latter group are victims as well; just of a much harder to deal with problem. The lack of caring often is, in my view, often not the cause of the problem, but the symptom of others. Sometimes they did try and failed when they tried and lost such a huge amount of self confidence that not caring was their mental safety net to losing even more. By schooling themselves to not care they avoid the pain of failure - however once they've been like that for a fairly long while its very hard to get them to overcome that structure.

In others it can also be that a very freeform and open ended job life that we have built (that is you are not going to follow your parents and half the time don't even have the chance to these days) and that can be daunting to many who feel that they've got no core skills and thus nothing to offer (or that the core skills they do have are not desired). A lack of direction and ambition can very quickly end up with a person not caring.

I'm sure there are other triggers that setup this kind of person and when they gather into groups each ones symptoms reinforce the others (despite how we like to demean it by calling it mindless as a sheep, we all often end up following the herd by intent or instinct). So then you've a whole collective group to battle.

 

[limr30 3]

But that second group of students? The ones who miss every other class and think they can just make up all the work at the end of the term, and I'll just smile and accept work that is months past the due date? The ones who think I'm too stupid to catch them when they copy and paste from Wikipedia and try to pass it off as an essay? No mercy.

No mercy agreed - but I often think that the latter group are victims as well; just of a much harder to deal with problem. The lack of caring often is, in my view, often not the cause of the problem, but the symptom of others. Sometimes they did try and failed when they tried and lost such a huge amount of self confidence that not caring was their mental safety net to losing even more. By schooling themselves to not care they avoid the pain of failure - however once they've been like that for a fairly long while its very hard to get them to overcome that structure.

In others it can also be that a very freeform and open ended job life that we have built (that is you are not going to follow your parents and half the time don't even have the chance to these days) and that can be daunting to many who feel that they've got no core skills and thus nothing to offer (or that the core skills they do have are not desired). A lack of direction and ambition can very quickly end up with a person not caring.

I'm sure there are other triggers that setup this kind of person and when they gather into groups each ones symptoms reinforce the others (despite how we like to demean it by calling it mindless as a sheep, we all often end up following the herd by intent or instinct). So then you've a whole collective group to battle.

You're absolutely right. They've never had to put effort into anything so they don't know what to do when it's suddenly required. And yes, they can be helped, but they have to be open to it. I always tell them that if they truly want to improve and are ready to do their work, then I'd be more than happy to work with them. And quite frankly, I've seen some of those students open up, and once they get a little confidence, they start trying harder. I had a student once who was convinced, absolutely convinced that she could never complete an essay. She didn't even try the first one I assigned. I worked with her on the second. It wasn't good, but at least she was trying. Because she was honestly trying, I kept working with her. By the end of the semester, she was writing complete essays. You should have seen the look on her face when she realized she passed the class when she had been SO CONVINCED that she would fail miserably. I've never seen someone so happy to get a C.

But with so much of my energy going to the students that DO care already, I have nothing left to give to the ones who don't even want to help themselves. It's just my fight. I'm there to reach the ones that I can, but I can't get them all. And I've been doing this long enough to be able to identify which ones are honestly trying and which ones are just trying to bullsh*t their way through class.

 

[The_Traveler]

I tend to use a different quote with my students: "Life is hard. It's harder when you're stupid."
(Oft credited to John Wayne, but apparently it is traced back to Steven Keats playing Jackie Brown in a 1973 film, The Friends of Eddie Coyle. Now you know.)

Great movie