Another Dilemma on My Hands

[robbins.photo]

It was a FRIEND, OP gave a verbal agreement he would in fact shoot the wedding. The friend gave no sign that he wasn't going with him.

Could the friend of been more clear with his intentions, yeah sure. But so could the OP, he could of simply asked, "So I'm hired?"

OP was in the wrong.

If the OP said he'd shoot it, then okay sure. But sounds like he only said the date was available to shoot and gave a quote of the cost. And not even directly to the bride/groom, just a friend of them that happened to know he was an option as a photographer. You're makign an assumption.

Granted none of us will ever know exactly how it went down, and there's always two sides of the story, but this seems silly to me.

Don't disagree with you here, I guess my only thought is this, is it worth losing a friend over.

For my part I'd apologize for the miscommunication and offer to shoot the wedding. If they booked someone else great, if not I'll be more than happy to do it.

Problem solved, no federal case required.

 

[Designer]

I guess my only thought is this, is it worth losing a friend over.

She's already lost the friend. And any chance of photographing the wedding.

 

[robbins.photo]

I guess my only thought is this, is it worth losing a friend over.

She's already lost the friend. And any chance of photographing the wedding.

Well nothing to be done then I suppose, just another cautionary tale about mixing business with friends and family.

 

[tirediron]

IMO, yes, you were wrong to not contact her and follow up, and wrong again by not telling her as soon as you had decided to back away from doing wedding photography.
When she said "Okay, perfect" in May you should then have made arrangements to get a deposit and a contract signed.

In short your business practices fell well short of being professional.

She has every right to be pissed off.

I'm not sure I agree with Keith to quite that extent, but you did goof... NEVER let a [potentially] live one get away! I always contact 'tire kickers' 2-4 weeks after their last 'mail/call 'just to see how things are going'. People's communication skills these days seem to be on average, 'Horrible' and while you weren't going to do her wedding, you shouldn't take the chance on the damage this could cause your reputation.

 

[IzzieK]

Different opinions and each side is correct. The problem was communications. With the internet and cell phone texting abundant all over nowadays, why o why wasn't there any communication between you and your friend either way? Perhaps you are not really interested in doing the wedding after all and should have told your friend...sometimes we feel something not right with us that we fail to really know...not just the circumstances involved, but other things. Maybe you are burned out with people shooting and just want to be involved with your band, with your music, who knows?

 

[DepthOfFocus]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this. Definitely lots of mixed reviews/opinions here.

Okay - I realize we were both at fault. Yes, I should have followed up or seeked clarification ... However my friend is equally, if not, more at fault ... If they did have FIRM interest in me, the Bride should/would have reached out to me for more details and/or set up an e-session which my quote included. The couple made zero attempt to reach out to me. No deposit was left, nor contract signed. You would figure a few months before the wedding, they'd already have taken the necessary steps to secure a vendor's services.

Nonetheless - I will offer to shoot the wedding and see what she says. I got this one.

(Oh, and just a clarification, the person I've been dealing with is more of an acquantaince than an actual friend - So it's not so much combining friendship and business)

Again, thanks everyone for your feedback. I've only been shooting for 2 years and this is the first situation that came up like this. This is all part of the learning curve and will walk away with valuable life lesson learned.