Been in hospital lately?

hovis

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Hospital chart bloopers - actual writings from hospital charts!

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
well, sounds like from one of the better UK hospitals... :(

sorry, but I am not really on good terms with the UK health system. I have seen too many people having to wait for too long for a proper medic examining them. I have seen too many people having to wait for surgeries for too long. I have seen diagnosis going totally wrong too often.

The last victim from among my friends died last week in a UK hospital for said reasons.

The UK is great in many respects, but I would not want to get seriously sick there ...


Sorry for the rant.
 
did not want to ruin your thread , mate ;)

But I do know a couple of loverly nurses..........

As I said, it is great if not seriously ill ;)
 
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

Sounds comical but this is a serious problem for pureblood geeks - many a time they have to be examined over and over when they go into hospital since many hours spent away from sunlight leaves their skin almost translusent.
That and examinations have to be done in a darkroom (the sun it burns!)

:lol:
 
I recall a British doctor diagnosing me as having asthma. I was unhappy with the diagnosis and changed doctors. The next one gave the right diagnosis - whooping cough. Most folks I know in the UK have changed doctors several times.
 
My brother once broke his collor bone in rugby - so went and sat in AandE for 4 hours waiting to be seen.
Upon at last being seen the doctors first act was to greet my brother and shake him by the hand - the wrong hand!!!!!


and yet I would not swap this system for the US one anyday!
 
My brother once broke his collor bone in rugby - so went and sat in AandE for 4 hours waiting to be seen.
Upon at last being seen the doctors first act was to greet my brother and shake him by the hand - the wrong hand!!!!!


and yet I would not swap this system for the US one anyday!

Umm... So you prefer miserably poor quality healthcare that you pay for out of taxes to high quality healthcare that you pay for out of insurance?
 

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


How nice to hear that that would be my only abnormalities then (too). :D

But hey. After the new scandalous happenings in an American ER waiting room (video proof, too), I'd prefer any ER where you "only" have to wait for 4 to 6 hours to those where you go with an EMERGENCY (!) (after all!!!) and have to sit there for 24 hours (and then die :( ).
 
Umm... So you prefer miserably poor quality healthcare that you pay for out of taxes to high quality healthcare that you pay for out of insurance?

not only that you have to have insurance, but the right insurance for the problem you have ;)
Some insurance packages will only cover you for so long - say if you need medication - or might not cover certain conditions. Get the wrong problem and you are having to fork out for private.
So yes I much prefer free pills and medical care even if you have to wait (oh and people have done the whole waiting list and dieing in the UK too)

Its also really handy if you are not employed at the time
 
strange enough most countries are having problems with their health care system at the moment... Germany (which is somewhere in between the US and the UK system) is no exception.
 
not only that you have to have insurance, but the right insurance for the problem you have ;)
Some insurance packages will only cover you for so long - say if you need medication - or might not cover certain conditions. Get the wrong problem and you are having to fork out for private.
So yes I much prefer free pills and medical care even if you have to wait (oh and people have done the whole waiting list and dieing in the UK too)

Its also really handy if you are not employed at the time

They do have Medicaid/Medicare for people without money and the retired. It's a bit easier than finding an NHS dentist though to get treatment.

As far as packages are concerned - you pick the right one for your situation. It's pretty simple. For those really hard up - they even allow payment by installments.
 
but how to you choose the right package for you before you are ill/injured?
That is the problem - you might be healthy as a spring chicken onday and then the next you go down with something serious (diabeties) and then you need medicin - but your insurance won't pay or will only pay for so long. After that you have problems.
Even if you can change policies it an additional worry and problem to deal with.
 

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