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Corupt a wish

I wish I had more patients with the human race today.
Granted. But due to the misspelling, it means you have a lot of sick people hanging around you.
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I wish I had some dark chocolate.
Oooo, granted in the blink of an eye. But you're gonna share, right? So you now have a LOT less of it. Awww, and with the heat, your share has melted. Too bad!

I wish I knew a pilot that could fly me around for free
 
I wish I knew a pilot that could fly me around for free


Your wish is granted...too bad today is his first day flying



I wish that I had a 7th sense to know when someone selling something is not trying to take me for a ride
 
Granted, but that sense does you no good because people are ALWAYS trying to take you for a ride.

I wish I could go out for a nice lunch today instead of being stuck at the office.
 
^^^
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Oh, that wish is granted all right. But, ummm, the meat you ordered was a little 'off', so you spend the rest of the day hugging the porcelain bowl.

I wish my golf game tomorrow was a 'best ball' format instead of regular golf. I'm gonna be out there forever!
 
sorry guys you all need to wake up i know you all wished this thread would die.
 
Granted, but one of your balls hits a passing car, causes an accident, and results in a humongous lawsuit against you and the golf course.

I wish my kids would stop fighting with each other and with me.
 
Granted, but instead, they pick fights with bullies and end up in the hospital.

I wish dinner would make itself, and it would be delicious.
 
It was delicious, but the magic mushrooms made you hallucinate for a week and you missed work and lost your job.

I wish I could afford the Canon 500mm f/4L
 
You can, but it falls off the table and breaks your leg, you are out of work for the month.

I wish it would snow here so I can get some nice winter photos...
 
It snows so much that all of the exits to your house a buried under 15' of snow. You spend a week taking pictures of coins while you wait for it to thaw.

I wish my car battery wasn't dead right now. :lol:
 
It isn't dead and it works very well in the thief's car.

I wish I could go home from work early.
 
You can go home any time you want, because you just got laid off.

I wish I had a pizza and a 12 pack in front of me right now.
 
You do, but someone else is eating it and drinking the beer...:confused:

I wish the thief would take my old piece of junk...
 
He does, but he takes everything else too.

I wish this giant bruise on my leg would go away.
 

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