going downhill

sarallyn · Sep 10, 2008

so are my friends.
I think i'm going to be an alcoholic.
honestly, I really do.
I got pretty trashed in school today.... that's the second time this year.
god damnit, I don't know what to do.
maybe i'm just overreacting? I dunno. I know kids get ****faced sometimes, but jesus christ, today was my low point. thank god I didn't get caught.

and jesus christ, i'm posting this on a forum. now that's a low point. noooo, just kidding.

buh. words of wisdom?

JohnMF · Sep 10, 2008

i knew a girl who was 17, by the time she was 19 she was an alcoholic and and liver damage. looked more like in her late thirties than late teens. It is a shame, she was gorgeous, could have easily been a model. Last time i saw her was about 3 years ago and she was like a skeleton, withdrawn, her hair was really thin and she had a kid. I always felt sorry for her and tried to help her out when i could. She used to give me her wages to look after because she knew she would blow it on booze. You don't want to end up like her.

Mitica100 · Sep 10, 2008

The fact that you are aware of your problem is an important step in recovery, kudos for being open and posting this!

Best bet would be in talking to a professional, express your worries and feelings to him/her and start from there. We all had moments in our lives which weren't necessarily high moments, it's normal, as we go through an experimenting with life stage.

Bravo to you for coming out like this and letting us, your web-friends, know your worries. We'll be here for you!

peterbj7 · Sep 10, 2008

I never know what Americans mean by "school" - it covers your entire period of education. Presumably you mean what we English would call College or University? Do you mean you got trashed in school, or rather that you were still trashed the next day when you went to school?

BlueEyes01 · Sep 10, 2008

Just remember, happiness is a choice. You dont need alcohol or anything else to put you in that state, you just have to keep your mind focused on the good things in life. Its not easy at first, it can be a mental battle but one well worth fighting for.

I know a few alcoholics. I can tell you that they all drink because they swear it makes them "happy". Funny thing is, when I watch them get sloshed, they really arent happy, its not an escape. Alcohol is a known depressant.

I wish you luck, you CAN choose a better path in life, just don't wait to do it after you've all ready ****ed things up because its just a lot more difficult then. Lean on your friends for support!

sarallyn · Sep 10, 2008

thanks, guys.

the worst feeling is after the... occurrence. god, I feel so embarrassed right now. people I don't even know, I realize now, were giving me looks.
at the time it seemed like a good idea. now I have to go to school and face people.... bleeeeehhh

I think I'm counting on growing out of this.

peterbj7 said:
I never know what Americans mean by "school" - it covers your entire period of education. Presumably you mean what we English would call College or University? Do you mean you got trashed in school, or rather that you were still trashed the next day when you went to school?

trashed in school... high school. :meh:

Benthic · Sep 10, 2008

sarallyn said:
<snip>
trashed in school... high school. :meh:

As others have said, recognition of the problem is a HUGE step in the right direction. Given that you said it's happened in high school twice this year (we're not that far into the school year yet) I'd say you need to get some professional help, perhaps AA. If your friends are in this predicament with you, you might want to try to get them some help too.

Brian

Mitica100 · Sep 10, 2008

sarallyn said:
thanks, guys.

the worst feeling is after the... occurrence. god, I feel so embarrassed right now. people I don't even know, I realize now, were giving me looks.
at the time it seemed like a good idea. now I have to go to school and face people.... bleeeeehhh

I think I'm counting on growing out of this.

trashed in school... high school. :meh:

Sarallyn, as others have pointed out, alcohol is a depressant. I know so by having seen my middle brother who is barely alive today due to cirrhosis (liver being destroyed by alcohol). He is so depressed that he doesn't even go out in the world anymore, stays home and drinks. No radio, no TV, no friends, just the family that goes to see him. It's really sad...

Crazydad · Sep 10, 2008

God bless you for having the courage to post this. As a child of alcoholics I know first hand the effects it has on you and the people around who love you.

The thing you must do know is seek professional help such as a counselor, pastor, support group, etc. Also, ask yourself why you thought it was a good idea at the time.

Please don't think you have to handle it by yourself or you are alone. You are not. And I know you want more for your life than what is down that path.

Battou · Sep 11, 2008

I am also a Child of an alcoholic, and also almost became one my self. I'm not going to sit here and preach to you about drinking and the possible conciquences, but I will offer some advice.

The trick to it is to take your drinking habit by the balls, Don't drink to get sht faced, drink to enjoy a beer. A good starting point is to stop buying that piss they call beer by the thirty pack. Get something smaller and more expencive like Guinness or something like that that can actually be enjoyed. Also at your age....Stay home, Do not go out with your friends, more over don't invite them over. Going out or inviting in effectivly removes the limmit on the amount you drink, when ever you go to a party there will always be the guy who yells "Beer Run" and a handfull of people handing over the cash. By staying home you do not have the advantage of a stockpile of beer in the cooler/fridge and more comming, What you have is all you have and eventually you will start to slow down the time it takes you to drink your way through a bottle and enjoy the beer in your hand.

By learning how to enjoy a beer, you will be able to learn how to walk into a bar, have a drink and walk out as opposed to "closing the bar" and stagering home. That is a Key part in drinking responsably.

monkeykoder · Sep 11, 2008

Battou said:
I am also a Child of an alcoholic, and also almost became one my self. I'm not going to sit here and preach to you about drinking and the possible conciquences, but I will offer some advice.

The trick to it is to take your drinking habit by the balls, Don't drink to get sht faced, drink to enjoy a beer. A good starting point is to stop buying that piss they call beer by the thirty pack. Get something smaller and more expencive like Guinness or something like that that can actually be enjoyed. Also at your age....Stay home, Do not go out with your friends, more over don't invite them over. Going out or inviting in effectivly removes the limmit on the amount you drink, when ever you go to a party there will always be the guy who yells "Beer Run" and a handfull of people handing over the cash. By staying home you do not have the advantage of a stockpile of beer in the cooler/fridge and more comming, What you have is all you have and eventually you will start to slow down the time it takes you to drink your way through a bottle and enjoy the beer in your hand.

By learning how to enjoy a beer, you will be able to learn how to walk into a bar, have a drink and walk out as opposed to "closing the bar" and stagering home. That is a Key part in drinking responsably.

With a little bit of practice you can even learn to enjoy piss beer in such a manner (however I usually spend considerably more than one would spend on Guinness on the beer I drink). Once you actually learn to enjoy beer or wine you lose the desire to get "****faced" and you are now a much more capable person.

Battou · Sep 11, 2008

monkeykoder said:
With a little bit of practice you can even learn to enjoy piss beer in such a manner (however I usually spend considerably more than one would spend on Guinness on the beer I drink). Once you actually learn to enjoy beer or wine you lose the desire to get "****faced" and you are now a much more capable person.

Yup, for the most part, piss beer is piss for a reason :lol:

but for the rest, spot on.

abraxas · Sep 11, 2008

sarallyn said:
...
I think I'm counting on growing out of this.
... :meh:

Started when I was 15. Getting ****-faced in class was pretty funny at the time. Started ditching school, going to the beach. Had some friends get killed from drunk driving accidents, shootings at parties. Got into drugs. Had a few more friends get killed, overdoses, suicides. Took me ten years from the time I wanted out until I "grew out of it" at 30. Have heard of quite a few of my old party buddies get dead or girls who used to be quite pretty turn into drunks and speed whores over the last 25 years. Glad I decided to get the hell away from my "friends," and be who I wanted to be. Still suffering from crap I did to myself- Don't wait to "grow out of it."

sarallyn · Sep 11, 2008

oh ****, oh ****, oh ****.

principal talked to me -- said she heard about "vodka in water bottles".... I played it completely cool and said I was "pretending," but god, now i'm scared ****less.

definitely NOT doing anything near the school anymore.

oh god.... oh my god i'm lucky.

plus a hangover and varsity field hockey game (I'm the captain of the team, too) does not mix well.

but is it really wrong to get trashed at parties? kind of like, separate my school and family from my friends. I know a lot of people that are great students, but they are gone on the weekends.
buuuh.

JohnMF · Sep 11, 2008

Just because you've had a drink, doesn't mean you're going to end up an alcoholic. i used to go out and get drunk with my mates and then go to school the next day with a hangover when i was 15, and i'm not an alcoholic. infact i barely drink at all these day and i'm 31.

It's just the novelty or curiousity of drinking that attracts you at that age. Now that youv'e got it out your system, Just put it down to experience and a lucky escape from the principal and move on.