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How do I remove Bokeh???!!

If you're shooting with a professional camera (except Canon), go to the settings and select "Remove Bokeh".
I went ahead and checked my Canon (t3i) anyway, and lo and behold, it had that setting. Bokeh is gone. Thanks
I'm glad to hear that! Two lessons learned: the t3i is a pro camera, and we're always here to help :)
 
I can't help but feel like the op is trolling hard.
 
Your issue is not with bokeh. Your issue is with depth-of-field (DoF).

Specifically, you want deep DoF, and yes, having a close focus point distance makes DoF more shallow.

Point of focus distance has more of an effect on DoF than lens aperture does, but camera image sensor size and lens focal length also play a part.

Understanding Depth of Field in Photography
 
Can we see a picture?
I'm not home right now, and I'm not trolling. I want to be able to film with my dslr without having to focus by having everything in focus. This problem is especially poignant with regards to closeup film, which I need since I'm trying to do "robot chicken" type skits with toys (but film instead of stop motion) and thus need to be upclose and to have all the things in focus (to emulate scale sized film).
 
Maybe you should take us through the process you're using, and some images of what you consider "unacceptable", and we "may" have an idea or two on how to help you. If you're doing close-up work, then the relative distance to the background plays a role. You could move the background closer, and then with a high f/stop the background will be in focus (more or less).
 
With closeup work, it's going to be especially difficult. I'd look to hyperfocal settings to try to solve it.
 
Maybe using these software

 
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Is anything in focus?
 

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