How to deal with telemarketers

[Dmitri]

I don't know how old this is, but I just heard it and I laughed and laughed.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI]YouTube - The Greatest Prank Call Ever[/ame]

 

[benhasajeep48 46]

Hahaha, I hate telemarketing, but I started to feel sorry for the guy. :lmao::lmao:

 

[Chiller]

Thats classic. :lmao::lmao:

I dont show any mercy for telemarketers. I know they are doing their job, but can you call when Im not home?
You call my place...you get one of two responses...

Brrrrring..(that is the phone ringing just in case y'all were wondering):er:

Me: Good evening Wade Funeral home and Crematorium
Telem: Hi ..May I speak to*(*&%*...(half the time they cant say my name)
Me: Is he an employee here or is he resting here.
Telem: Im not sure(that is the generic response)
.......usually there is a pause......
Me: I can check the registry if you wish, and see if he is resting here.
.......by this time most hang up..........but..one time.
Telem: Sure I can wait. <<<the dumb tit
At that point I hung up.

------------------ the others get this.
Brrrrrring(that is the phone ringing just in case y'all were wondering):er:

Me: Hello?
Telem: May I speak to *())&^)?
Me: Im sorry he passed away a few weeks back, can I take a message?

Most just hang up, or say...thats o.k we will take his name off our list.

 

[Joves]

Thats great! I love messing with the telemarketers too. If it is a feamle I ask her what she is wearing, then I will slap the back of my leg slow at first then faster and faster. Ive done that to some of the males too. It makes them hang up pretty quick.

 

[epp_b]

Old stuff, but still pretty good.

I just give the phone to my brother and he pretends to hit on the telemarketer. Female or not.

It's quite entertaining

 

[kundalini]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ"]The Seinfeld method[/ame]

 

[Mitica100]

I have caller ID so I jot down the number of the Telemarketer when available. As soon as I have a few written down I play with them:

***phone rings***

TM: May I speak to....
me: Sorry, he moved away and has a new phone number (at which point I select one phone number from the pool written down)

***I hang up***

But my best revenge was when I received a fax from a local firm trying to sell something. I went to the nearest office supply store, bought some black paper and taped top to end about 6 or 7 of them. Then fed them through the fax, dialed the fax number from that firm and then let it run about half way through. At this point I taped the top and end sides of the very long roll of black paper so it made an endless loop and let it run. Imagine the surprise of the people at the other end when they found the paper and the ink cartridge gone the next morning! Oh, BTW, I ran this one at night, after closing hours.

 

[epp_b]

^ That fax thing is brilliant!

 

[skieur]

Another one that stops the telemarketers cold:

"May I speak to ......"

Oh, he has Alzheimer's dimentia, I am sure you do not want to talk to him.

skieur

 

[JerryPH]

I just do one of 2 things... I get them to think I am interested, then ask them to hold a second, put the phone down and leave it there until they hang up. Some hang on for over 20 minutes! LMAO!

My other question is:

"look, I am really interested, but just too busy... can *I* have your home phone number and call you back around 3:AM when I am free?"

"I'm sorry, I do not give out my home number..."

"oh, so its OK for YOU to call me at home but not for ME to call YOU?"

At that point I go "postal" on them and they think they have some raving lunatic.... lol Makes it a great way to vent and then I just hang up, but never before wishing them a nice evening.

 

[stsinner]

When the Jehova's Witnesses come to my door trying to peddle their Awake magazine and talk my ear off, I'll answer the door with an open beer in my hand.. That's usually pretty effective, especially since they usually come at about 10 in the morning..

I'll bet they pray for me when the leave.

 

[mrodgers]

I just do one of 2 things... I get them to think I am interested, then ask them to hold a second, put the phone down and leave it there until they hang up. Some hang on for over 20 minutes! LMAO!

I've done that one myself many times.

When the Jehova's Witnesses come to my door trying to peddle their Awake magazine and talk my ear off, I'll answer the door with an open beer in my hand.. That's usually pretty effective, especially since they usually come at about 10 in the morning..

I'll bet they pray for me when the leave.

That's nothing. Story told below, though it isn't my story....

My previous boss was very much into guns. His father owned a gun club just up the road. Every Wednesday, he would be "sneaking" out of work early (3 o'clock) saying to us, "It's shootin' night".

One Thursday he comes in and tells us about the Jehova's Witness showed up at his house that previous Wednesday. He said he had never seen the color drain from 2 lady's faces like he did these two ladies. As they were reaching to knock on the door, he was opening the door ready to head out to the gun club. He just stood there in the door way and said, "Tonight's not a good night. Maybe you should come back some other time." Imagine what they thought after that as he stood in the door way with a shoulder holster, a gun holstered on each hip, 2 rifles slung over one shoulder, another rifle on the other shoulder, 2 ammo belts strapped crisscross across his chest, and holding a crate of ammo in front of him.

 

[stsinner]

That probably gave them the Holy S***s.