how to politely decline shooting a wedding

[schumionbike]

Have you tryed having fun shooting with a 2 yr old wrapped around your leg? One that will have been riding in a car for 4 hours and missed his nap that day too? When you have done that and done it all for free, tell me how much fun it was

Nope, never tried that. I guess you would have to get the kid off your leg then, lol. But other than than, shooting itself is pretty fun though and I wouldn't consider it work.

 

[JerryPH]

I have. Taking a pic of that little one wrapped around my leg was not a problem... now walking... THAT was a problem.

I see that mother nature may have saved you some hassle... lol

Good luck, and since you are going... do nothing that isn't fun for you... screw the rest.

 

[kellylindseyphotography]

Nope, never tried that. I guess you would have to get the kid off your leg then, lol. But other than than, shooting itself is pretty fun though and I wouldn't consider it work.

I agree with the bolded usually In this particular circumstance, no.

And my son won't go to anyone there. He literally WILL be attached to my leg. And with heels on, its not going to be pretty

 

[NoteGraphics]

Is it just me... or is everyone else on tenterhooks to see these pictures after all hassle this poor girl has gone through ???!!!??? *fingers tightly crossed!*

 

[KD5NRH]

I have to figure out a way to politely stand my ground.

You already did that, and they've decided the time for politeness is over. Put your foot down.

 

[JerryPH]

shooting itself is pretty fun though and I wouldn't consider it work.

Shooting pics is a ton of fun, and shooting weddings is a rush, but let me tell you.. to do a wedding properly, it *IS* work... hard work.

 

[schumionbike]

Shooting pics is a ton of fun, and shooting weddings is a rush, but let me tell you.. to do a wedding properly, it *IS* work... hard work.

I understand that shooting a wedding required that you're technically proficient with excellent equipments. Such preparation might take a lot of work and a lot of studying and probably require some talent. But how is carrying a camera around and pressing the shutter hard work??? Especially when you like do that anyway. I mean you might have to do a little bit more running around and carrying a few pound of gear but that's not really work. This is free wedding anyway, it's either pictures with DSLR on manual with good eyes or point and shoot on automatic so there shouldn't be much pressure. I never shot wedding before however, so it's just my opinion. I have shot a funeral before though, interestingly enough.

 

[Mav]

I understand that shooting a wedding required that you're technically proficient with excellent equipments. Such preparation might take a lot of work and a lot of studying and probably require some talent. But how is carrying a camera around and pressing the shutter hard work??? Especially when you like do that anyway. I mean you might have to do a little bit more running around and carrying a few pound of gear but that's not really work. This is free wedding anyway, it's either pictures with DSLR on manual with good eyes or point and shoot on automatic so there shouldn't be much pressure. I never shot wedding before however, so it's just my opinion. I have shot a funeral before though, interestingly enough.

Go shoot a wedding where you're getting PAID and are expected to get good results and get back to us on that one. :lmao:

- There's making sure your settings are right.
- There's the composition and making sure everybody looks good.
- There's widely varying lighting conditions all over the map to compensate for.
- There's a list of formals to get dozens of lines long.
- There's getting everybody where you need them when you need them there.
- There's the pre-planning.
- There's checking out the site beforehand to get ideas for different shots.
- There's the reviewing of all of the hundreds if not thousands of photos.
- There's the post-processing, which you want to have done ASAP (strike while the iron is hot) from a business standpoint.

My favorite part is this. The wedding is happening in real-time. If you find yourself out of position suddenly, they don't just stop for you. If you want to get the shot, you might find yourself RUNNING. This is why most wedding photogs commonly have a backup along with them because it's just not possible to be everywhere at once.


Shooting a wedding is truly an "experience" if you're doing it seriously and not just casually for a friend

 

[TamiyaGuy]

"Nikon F301 35mm SLR
-Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 lens
-Sirius 28-200mm f/4 lens

Nikon D40 DSLR
-Nikon 18-55mm f/3.5-f/5.6 lens
-Sigma 55-200mm f/4-5.6 lens

Yes, I know it's all crap. Don't go on about it."

If it's paid for and you like it, it's not crap

Lol. Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just too used to the whole Newgrounds.com/4chan.com "OMG UR CAMERA SUXX GET A NEW ONE NOOB" approach :lmao::lmao:


And Kelly, I'm really happy that you won't take any crap. It'd also be interesting to see your "snapshots" of the wedding afterwards as well, just from a curiosity point of view. I'm sure they're great!

 

[NoteGraphics]

I always vowed "I'll never do weddings"... But I eventually broke my vow ! I will always remember the first though - I was so nervous I kept upping the shutter speed to make sure the shots weren't ruined by my hands shaking.. and i am not joking !

I really feel for you ~Kelly, family can be just awful sometimes and when I started out I was the unofficial "free photographer". It started out with my cousin's 1st childs christening where I was invited to be a godparent. In the exact words of my cousin "You'd be perfect, you go to church AND you got a camera".

It can be very hard to say "no" sometimes... It can be very hard to listen to views expressed by people through ignorance - such as "it's just pressing a button, how hard can it be?" ( The answer to that by the way is : VERY easy..IF you don't give a damn about the results. If you do take it seriously it's very stressful indeed).

I also agree with the several people who warn of those who say "oh we're sure they'll be fine"... and what they really expect is coverage suitable for Vogue...

But most of all I think that of all the opinions expressed by the many that have followed this thread... The fact that you obviously DO want the best for a family member with whom you have little connection, a mother who seems terribly domineering and inconsiderate of her daughters wishes or fears, and a passion for your photography... says much more about you and your character than theirs.

+ end of my 2c worth, thanks for reading! +

 

[schumionbike]

Go shoot a wedding where you're getting PAID and are expected to get good results and get back to us on that one. :lmao:

- There's making sure your settings are right.
- There's the composition and making sure everybody looks good.
- There's widely varying lighting conditions all over the map to compensate for.
- There's a list of formals to get dozens of lines long.
- There's getting everybody where you need them when you need them there.
- There's the pre-planning.
- There's checking out the site beforehand to get ideas for different shots.
- There's the reviewing of all of the hundreds if not thousands of photos.
- There's the post-processing, which you want to have done ASAP (strike while the iron is hot) from a business standpoint.

My favorite part is this. The wedding is happening in real-time. If you find yourself out of position suddenly, they don't just stop for you. If you want to get the shot, you might find yourself RUNNING. This is why most wedding photogs commonly have a backup along with them because it's just not possible to be everywhere at once.


Shooting a wedding is truly an "experience" if you're doing it seriously and not just casually for a friend

haha, Mav, I know I need to go shoot wedding to really have a feel for it. I want to too but that's not happening anytime soon. lol. The OP did say that this is not a paid venture though. But a lot of things you mentioned such as setting, composition, compensating for light, making people look good, post processing, get all the formals together required more skills and talents rather than hard work. You always watched your setting, lighting, composition anyway (more pressure at wedding though). That's all I'm trying to say. I mean you mentioned running but if you're talented, maybe you'll run a little less. lol. This is sort of like getting free advice from a lawyer or doctor in the family. Giving advise is usually not consider hardwork even though it does take a lot of work in order to give that kind of advice. I think that's how most people who is not into photography look at it and I think it is reasonable.

 

[JerryPH]

But how is carrying a camera around and pressing the shutter hard work???

I've said it before and will say it again... when I shoot as a second, on the day I work, I lose on average 3-4 pounds. The main photographer (who is 6-foot, 180 pounds, and NO fat), loses about 5-6 pounds himself.

This is not some weddings, its EVERY wedding. His planning lists are several and many have 100 things or more to go through.

Before saying that photography is or cannot be hard work... go shoot a wedding with a professional, as a second shooter, *then* come back and tell me what you think.

 

[DWS]

Before saying that photography is or cannot be hard work... go shoot a wedding with a professional, as a second shooter, *then* come back and tell me what you think.

absolutely!

 

[schumionbike]

I've said it before and will say it again... when I shoot as a second, on the day I work, I lose on average 3-4 pounds. The main photographer (who is 6-foot, 180 pounds, and NO fat), loses about 5-6 pounds himself.

This is not some weddings, its EVERY wedding. His planning lists are several and many have 100 things or more to go through.

Before saying that photography is or cannot be hard work... go shoot a wedding with a professional, as a second shooter, *then* come back and tell me what you think.

haha, fair enough. Hopefully I can give you my impression within 3 years. lol. I can't argue against the lost of bodyweight.

 

[kellylindseyphotography]

Well I'm back!!!!

Turns out, the ONLY person that considered me the "official" photographer was my freakin mom. My cousin had a friend who was a "professional" shooting for her. Oh man.

Let me tell you. This girl appeared to have not a professional bone in her body. It made it VERY hard for me to stand back and watch it!@ Even though I didn't want to do the wedding in the first place, I was twitching to pull my cousin aside and tell her that she wasn't going to get quality pictures at ALL with the photographer that she had. I didn't because it wouldn't help the situation any.
What I did do was pull her aside and offer to shoot some shots of her outside in THE MOST gorgeous Maine setting you can imagine. Yes it was drizzling at times, but at times it had stopped completely. There was this little red barn framed by a backdrop of mountains and fog.. oh man

My cousin declined saying "Oh I have my friend here, she's a professional, you don't have to worry!" And I had to bite my tongue. Hard.

Her friend had a semi decent camera, but she only brought one and it was film. No equiptment at all, except a built in flash (ugh!!!!!!!!!!). She shot when she felt like it, missing so many things that I was lucky to capture.

I only have a rebel XT, and I shoot using only natural light. I don't claim to have flash experience nor do I try to. I did shoot at the reception, handholding my camera pushed the ISO to 1600 and did my best while staying out of the way of the "pro" (who by the way, left her camera on the table and was shooting the whole time in auto.. sigh)

I think I got some decent stuff. I tryed to encourage my cousin to come outside for some shots because I really wanted to scream that the on camera flash was going to be awful awful awful.. She was so busy with so many other things that she said not to worry, her "pro" would get everything for her

I asked the pro for her business card so I could check out her shots of the wedding after and she said she didn't have a card, nor a website. That the professional business she does is by putting all the images on a CD when she's done and giving it to the bride directly Sure sign that (on top of not carrying off camera flash and shooting in manual) that these pictures are not going to be awesome for my cousin

And the more I thought of it the more I became pissed.. u know? I don't know how much my cousin was paying her. I don't want to know. I did the best I could in the low lighting with no flash, and occasionally was shooting at 1/15 handheld by keeping my elbow on the table and stabilizing the camera as best I could... of course, I got image movement in a lot of them.. so we'll see.

The good news is is that I did get some decent stuff, I think. Luckily, much of the guests were receptive to being taken outside to have their portraits done quickly and so I did that.

Overall, lesson learned- my mom and I"s relationship has been going downhill a long long time now. She said some nasty stuff to me today thats not worth repeating and i refuse to let myself get worked up over it.

Second, I hope that what I did get for my cousin will override what trash she might possibly be presented with. Or hopefully, she overlooks quality for "oh i love my expression here!" type stuff too.

Anyway.. just thought I'd quickly update. I'll be uploading in the next few days and you guys can tear apart my wedding skills!