how to politely decline shooting a wedding

[kellylindseyphotography]

Oh and my mom was pushing me to go into the reception area where the "pro" was doing posed shots. I refused, saying I didn't have the proper equiptment.. which if that pro was worth her weigh in pennies, would have said the same. My mom got all pissy at me saying how her built in flash got fine things, didn't I have a flash in my camera? oy.

 

[schumionbike]

well, your mother is quite unreasonable. I'm looking forward to see your pictures though.

 

[rubbertree]

your cousin must be aware of the kind of work the pro friend has produced, otherwise why would she have asked her to shoot the wedding?

 

[Ben-71]

....Put your foot down.

The 'baby-free' one...

 

[TamiyaGuy]

Wow. That must suck, huh? XD Unless you enjoyed watching the "pro" shooting these so-called photographs.

I can't wait to see these photos, from the sounds of things they'll be stunning! I really do admire your bravery shooting indoor photos without a flash. What length lens were you using when handholding at 1/15?

I hope your relationship with your mum gets better soon, and that you can forget about this whole charade. I know I really get worked up if I have a family argument, or even if I just witness one. Stressful things weddings are, for both the guests and the relatives. Why on earth do people have them???

~TamiyaGuy

 

[jols]

just read this whole thread for the first time.

why did you not speak to your cousin when this whole thing started?

 

[JimmyO]

Geez, after seeing that "pro" it would have really encouraged me to go above and beyond. Im glad to hear it didnt go that bad and i look forward to seeing your shots!

 

[Lacey Anne]

Wow. Just wow. A pro huh? I'm still attempting to find a wedding photographer to shadow and/or assist before i do a wedding on my own but even I would ahve done better than that! Again, wow.

 

[davidfromoz]

Great read Kelly. And I'm very glad to hear that you were not roped into a thankless task that you wouldn't have enjoyed.

But I cant help but think if you had spent less time talking to your mum and TPF and more time talking to your cousin about the whole thing then it might have been less stressful for you and your mum.

cheers,
david

 

[kellylindseyphotography]

Thanks. I have answered that question about talking directly to my cousin several times in the thread. but here it is again-

we talk 2 or 3 times a year at most. usually see each other at thanksgiving etc. We were close as little ones, but haven't been in nearly 10 years.

I was initially told (not by her) that she was getting this shotgun marriage done with 3 weeks notice. My family scrambled to put something nice together for her (which it actually very much was!)

I was not notified of her needing photography work at all until... when did I post about this? Tuesday? 5 days before the date of the wedding?

No chance of me being able to take a 4 hour trip to test lighting measures or anything of the sort.

My mom sprung it on me saying that it would be a "really nice gift", basically in cohorts with my; grandfather. Why they waited 5 days before the wedding to "demand" this of me is beyond me.

Calling my cousin would have resulted in me finding out she already had her "pro" friend lined up, so really.. what would have been the point? Even not knowing that fact ahead of time, I am a single mother in the midst of finals. It was not something I spend hours and hours on TPF discussing. If you read my responces, they are maybe 1 or 2 a day over the course of week. I'd hardly define that as spending "too much time talking on TPF about it" but thanks for your concern.

As for why she went with this friend thats a "pro" I haven't the slightest idea. Maybe with her 4 weeks to get **** together, she did not see her portfolio and just made assumptions about the quality of this friend. I really don't know.

When you are not close with someone and they don't know anything at all about photography, you are limited in your capabilities. I will let my cousin see my work and see her friends work and she can see where she then will feel if she took the right approach or not. I did the best I could given the situation I was put in and I apoligize for nothing.

 

[JimmyO]

Again, I really respect how you treated the situation. Im sure it will all be worth it when your cousin throws out the "pros" shots and uses yours.

 

[sabbath999]

There is a hell of a big difference beteween going from a club DJ to a wedding DJ an going from a kid shooter to a wedding photographer. I think the job has been covered soo many times here that I wlll not get into it but there is alot more involved with shooting a wedding and there is alot bigger learning curve.

+1 (as a former wedding photographer AND a former mobile DJ system owner)

 

[jols]

if your not close to her and only talk two or three times a year i dont know what all the fuss was about.


calling your cousin and then finding out she had a pro booked surely would of been a good thing or am i missing something.

cant for the life of me think why you would be worrying over someone you hardly know anymore.

 

[kellylindseyphotography]

cant for the life of me think why you would be worrying over someone you hardly know anymore.

well call me crazy but family is family, regardless of how close we are anymore. I care for my cousin a great deal and just as a human being, I wanted her to have memories of her wedding that were wonderful. Whether you agree or disagree with my handling of the situation (you, general) it is what it is. Again, with 5 days notice I did not anticipate "handling" anything as I said I'm in school on Finals week (haha, I am in school now and just completed my FINAL final! YES!!!!!) :lmao: So anyhoo. I am sure there are some out there who would have handled the situation better/different/perfect. I'm not perfect, don't claim to be, but I'll take the critisism and hopefully know what to do better next time.

 

[kmp1191]

Kelly,
I think you did the right thing. Your mother sounds like a real pistol. She was offering your services when the bride either didn't ask for them, or already had someone lined up. Mom needs to mind her own business..next time you should tell her that.
I'm sure the work you did was great. You are very creative. I can't wait to see how these turned out....(you are going to show us...aren't you?)
Also, are you going to send her a disc w/ the pictures that you took?

Oh...and your son is adobable!