I'm not sure how to handle this...

[craig]

Peace to the gods. Know that it is only her body that left this earth. Her spirit will be with you forever.

Love & Bass

 

[Sideburns]

If her body is in a condition you can kiss her goodbye...I suggest doing that. If you can bring yourself to do it. You'll look back and wish you had.

If my girlfriend died, it would be a tremendous blow to my life. We're in a point in our lives where we have become reasonably co-dependent (not dependent on one another...but co-dependent)...and have started planning a few years in advance to make sure everything will work out the best way possible (just in case...can't be caught off guard)...

If she was killed, I don't think I could even muster up the energy to post on here. I don't think I would be able to get out of bed at all. That is something very unfortunate.

I thought I remembered your relationship being relatively short, but even then...a death is not something that goes easily...especially when it's your girlfriend...

Just be glad you're ok. You WILL find someone to make you happy again eventually...but take as much time as you need to feel better about her....and about yourself. The biggest part here is you. Try to keep YOU together.

Good luck, and we're all here.

 

[Puscas]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I can not imagine what you are going through, but I wish you all the strength you need.
You and Naomi are in my thoughts.






pascal

 

[Peanuts]

I don't know how to say this correctly however, something isn't just sitting right with me about this thread, given your past thread and it being a lie. Maybe I have trust issues, but, honestly I hope I am right and it is just some tall tale. However, acknowledge the words following this as if I view it as complete truth.

You'll survive. I know that probably sounds curt but its the fact of the matter. Somehow humans have plunged forwards through death and I don't quite know how but that's the fact of the matter. Several years ago I lost my only sibling (at least at that time) to a very sudden and tragic accident along with several other young individuals. The weeks and months after that were compounded by more loss - family, identity, friendship(s) - however here I am today, medically sane and once again healthy (being an abnormally tall 13 year old weighing in at under 100lbs just isn't good). That being said, the main thing is that you take care of yourself. Realize that people are going to be mulling around in their circles saying the same line "I am sorry, whatever I can do let me. Call me at this number if you ever need to talk." (and poof, 3 weeks later they are suddently gone). Do whatever you can to cherish the good memories, write them down, visit the places, take some time off.
Thinking of you during this hard times.

 

[Lisa B]

I'm actually glad that Peanuts posted the last post because i haven't replied to this thread yet either because something just doesn't sit right with me about. If i am wrong ,i appologise profusely and whole heartedly. I know the loss of a loved one can be extremly traumatic and difficult to deal with.

A few years ago my father went into hospital on Christmas Day, he died 3 weeks later in hospital, nobody saw it coming. That was the first time i ever experienced a death in my family and I was very close to my dad (he raised us as a single father).

When he died I found it difficult to express my feelings and emotions because i am not a person who can cry in front of people, express myself without boarders or without fear of reprimand. I dealt with it mainly alone and only cried twice.

Im a different person now to an extent and I think that being open and honest about how i felt at the time would have eased the pain sooner instead of bottling it all up and wanting to explode.

The sad, undeniable fact of life though, is that people do die. It is a process that you have to go through, to grieve and you should never fear that. It sounds almost far too cliche but time does in fact heal many wounds and you will one day be able to funciton without the if's and why's of the sitution and be able to maintain a memory and look back apon it fondly.

From what i gather, if facts be told, you are still young. You have a lot of life to live and a lot to learn. You will be ok. It will just take a little time.

As for viewing the body, I would not recommend this as a form of closure. I did not view my fathers body because i did not want to remember him as he lay there, i wanted to remember him as he was, how i remembered him in life and savour that memory. My sisters and my brother all viewed him post death and it haunted them afterwards. I think each would have preferred to remember him as he was and not what he had become on that table.

Also, please forgive me if this sounds a little harsh and disrespectful, but did you and your girlfriend actually meet in person? I ask this because it seems from the mail that you perhaps had yet to do so - but i may have read into that wrong. If you were yet to meet then i would definitely reconsider viewing the body as you would be better off retaining a memory of her as it is in all you have and what could have been instead of turturing yourself with what could have been. I know I sound harsh. I'm sorry but I have to say it how it is.

I know that you feel you want closure but time itself brings an enourmous state of change and closure through restoration of the minds equilibrium. You will achieve this when your body and mind have come to terms with the situation through the grieving process.

If this thread is indeed genuine then i am truly sorry for your loss, things will get better. Just hang in there.

 

[Trenton Romulox]

I'm honestly shocked that anyone even had the gall to actually sit there and question this thread, I know that I may have lied in the past, but that was not even close, not even close to this sort of a topic. Yes, we met in person, she was referring to the little time we spent together in person last summer before she left for college. We didn't become so close until she had left, and it was rather unfortunate that happened. I know that being with her for only a few months in a serious relationship doesn't seem like a whole lot, I get that, but we were close for a few years and we connected with each other like we never had with anyone else. I'm not one to get attached to people fast, so the fact that with her, it was quick really says far more about her than about me. And she was the same way. It seemed so perfect. And it really was. There were, of course, times where we didn't get along, but it was never anything we weren't past in ten minutes. When you talk to someone for thousands of hours about millions of things, to not disagree for more than a few minutes is a big feat. Our lives were entwined with one another's, we became dependent upon one another. The other being there to talk to and sleep with on the phone wasn't just a daily thing, it was the way the day was planned. It's hard to really explain what she meant to, and will always mean, to me. It's not easy for some people to grasp how I could get so attached to someone in such a short period of time. And maybe some of you will blow off our relationship since the best times of it were spent a thousand miles away. There are some connections that really transcend distance, and ours was that connection. This may sound stupid to some of you, and it sounds stupid to me too, but when she died last Wednesday evening, I saw it in my head. I saw a head-on collision, and I just knew she was gone. And when her mother told me the next day, when she told me how she died and when, it was exactly how and when I saw it. I am not one to think those sorts of things, like, believe in that kind of stuff. Anyways, to those of you who didn't question the validity of her death, thank you for your kind words of support and I know I'll get through this with the help of my friends, my family, and such. To those of you who had the nerve to ask me if it was true, I'm sorry I even allowed you to think such things, and I assure you, this is true, I wish it wasn't. I'd give anything in the world to have this all be a lie. But, it's not. She's truly dead.

 

[zendianah]

Her friend just sent me an email Naomi sent her the morning she died, this makes it hurt so much more...
"There's no one to vent to & you're not online or picking up your phone so I'm just going to send you a message because I can't really talk to this about Willa or the person I really should be talking to this about, & I trust you so much, so here goes.

I'm so worried about my boyfriend, Jeremy. Yes, I know you're thinking "The one you vented to me about last time? That you thought wasn't being honest with you?" Yes, that Jeremy. But I've forgiven him, you see, because I love him like no one I've ever loved before. I've never planned my future with anyone before, not even Adam, my first serious boyfriend. But that's because I couldn't really see a future with him, but I can see a future with Jeremy, like, a real one that will really last a lifetime. I love him so much, I just don't know what to do with myself until I see him in March. That's how serious I am about him. & Yeah, he's 16 & I'm 18, but our relationship exceeds so many boundaries: age, distance, so many.

But lately, he's been depressed. & I've been unavailable. & I just feel like we're drifting. & I haven't been really helping the situation because I keep breaking up with him & really putting him through the ringer. I don't know why I do it, because I know in the end, when I'm 80 & dying, his ring is gonna be the one that's still on my finger. His heart is still gonna be the one that mine beats in unison with. His eyes will be the ones that still make me melt. I know I'm being gay, but that's how he makes me feel, unlike anyone else. & It's so weird, because I've never been with him physically, but I imagine that's even greater than how he makes me feel from a thousand miles away.

But yeah, what do I do? Because he needs me, but I'm not there. I don't make myself available to him. I blow off what he needs from me, & I feel so horrible. Why does he put up with me? Because I'm cute? Cute can only take someone so far, & I'm afraid that my run is slowly coming to an end. I used to feel like I was his everything, but now I don't. He talks about this girl, Courtney, & he's very vague about her, but I can tell that they're good friends, you know? & That he tells her things that he doesn't tell me, & that hurts so much. I want to be the first person he comes to with anything, & because of how I've been acting, I'm not anymore. I feel like he's trying to pull me near but I keep pushing away, & now he's slowly letting his grip loose. ****. I'm crying typing this to you because I'm so afraid of losing him. & I know I should be telling him this, but I can't, because I'm afraid he's found someone else. ):

Help me. What do I do? Say? I've never been this lost in our relationship before. I'm so scared I'm gonna lose him. & If that happens, I don't know what I'll do."

I hope that she knew deep down how much I loved her, and that she was everything to me. All the times I could have made her know, and didn't. All the times I could have told her I loved her, and didn't. Death is an epiphany I didn't ask for. If only she knew that there was never gonna be anyone to replace her, there will never be anyone that can replace her. She saved me from hating myself. She saved me from hurting myself, and ruining my own life. The last thing I ever said to her, "I'm just gonna go eat lunch. Bye." That was the only time in the last six months that I can remember not telling her I loved her before leaving. And it had to be that time. It's cruel. I guess the last she told her friend about me, on the phone, was that she was worried about me. This hurts so much.

I am choked up.... I am truly sorry for your loss. Trent I'm sorry that something this tramatic has happened to you. Your so young and having to deal with this. I hope that you have a loving support system. Things will get better over time. She loved you so much.. Keep yourself busy. Make sure you surround your self with people that will support you emotionally. This is good that you opened up and shared something like this. Talk about as much as you can until you make peace. I'm sorry.
Dianah

 

[Lisa B]

I'm honestly shocked that anyone even had the gall to actually sit there and question this thread, I know that I may have lied in the past, but that was not even close, not even close to this sort of a topic. Yes, we met in person, she was referring to the little time we spent together in person last summer before she left for college. We didn't become so close until she had left, and it was rather unfortunate that happened. I know that being with her for only a few months in a serious relationship doesn't seem like a whole lot, I get that, but we were close for a few years and we connected with each other like we never had with anyone else. I'm not one to get attached to people fast, so the fact that with her, it was quick really says far more about her than about me. And she was the same way. It seemed so perfect. And it really was. There were, of course, times where we didn't get along, but it was never anything we weren't past in ten minutes. When you talk to someone for thousands of hours about millions of things, to not disagree for more than a few minutes is a big feat. Our lives were entwined with one another's, we became dependent upon one another. The other being there to talk to and sleep with on the phone wasn't just a daily thing, it was the way the day was planned. It's hard to really explain what she meant to, and will always mean, to me. It's not easy for some people to grasp how I could get so attached to someone in such a short period of time. And maybe some of you will blow off our relationship since the best times of it were spent a thousand miles away. There are some connections that really transcend distance, and ours was that connection. This may sound stupid to some of you, and it sounds stupid to me too, but when she died last Wednesday evening, I saw it in my head. I saw a head-on collision, and I just knew she was gone. And when her mother told me the next day, when she told me how she died and when, it was exactly how and when I saw it. I am not one to think those sorts of things, like, believe in that kind of stuff. Anyways, to those of you who didn't question the validity of her death, thank you for your kind words of support and I know I'll get through this with the help of my friends, my family, and such. To those of you who had the nerve to ask me if it was true, I'm sorry I even allowed you to think such things, and I assure you, this is true, I wish it wasn't. I'd give anything in the world to have this all be a lie. But, it's not. She's truly dead.

I asked about the meeting and distance thing not to be a prick but because i am personally in a long distance relationship - my husband lives in America and I live in England, so I know that distance and everything that comes with it CAN be overcome. I wasn't putting doubt on it being everything you say it is or was but just trying to understand. It isn't easy when you're trying to feel through text on a forum. despite everything though, time does heal, and you will be ok.

 

[Sideburns]

I'm honestly shocked that anyone even had the gall to actually sit there and question this thread, I know that I may have lied in the past, but that was not even close, not even close to this sort of a topic. Yes, we met in person, she was referring to the little time we spent together in person last summer before she left for college. We didn't become so close until she had left, and it was rather unfortunate that happened. I know that being with her for only a few months in a serious relationship doesn't seem like a whole lot, I get that, but we were close for a few years and we connected with each other like we never had with anyone else. I'm not one to get attached to people fast, so the fact that with her, it was quick really says far more about her than about me. And she was the same way. It seemed so perfect. And it really was. There were, of course, times where we didn't get along, but it was never anything we weren't past in ten minutes. When you talk to someone for thousands of hours about millions of things, to not disagree for more than a few minutes is a big feat. Our lives were entwined with one another's, we became dependent upon one another. The other being there to talk to and sleep with on the phone wasn't just a daily thing, it was the way the day was planned. It's hard to really explain what she meant to, and will always mean, to me. It's not easy for some people to grasp how I could get so attached to someone in such a short period of time. And maybe some of you will blow off our relationship since the best times of it were spent a thousand miles away. There are some connections that really transcend distance, and ours was that connection. This may sound stupid to some of you, and it sounds stupid to me too, but when she died last Wednesday evening, I saw it in my head. I saw a head-on collision, and I just knew she was gone. And when her mother told me the next day, when she told me how she died and when, it was exactly how and when I saw it. I am not one to think those sorts of things, like, believe in that kind of stuff. Anyways, to those of you who didn't question the validity of her death, thank you for your kind words of support and I know I'll get through this with the help of my friends, my family, and such. To those of you who had the nerve to ask me if it was true, I'm sorry I even allowed you to think such things, and I assure you, this is true, I wish it wasn't. I'd give anything in the world to have this all be a lie. But, it's not. She's truly dead.

I don't want to play down your relationship or anything...but you need to understand that at the age of 16, being dependent on one another is quite common, and is not so much a healthy thing. You will come to realize this. This doesn't make it any easier, but I must say that part of the reason you were attached so quickly is because you are young. I'm not saying I'm much older, but I have had some experience with relationships...and am very analytical of situations. Also, I have some knowledge of the psychological conditions and whatnot that go into this type of thing.

Be sad. Be upset. Be angry. It's healthy. But once you have finished, be thankful. You shared the last days she had on earth together, and the last person she will ever love is you. You should feel important, and proud. She may not be around physically, but she'll live in your heart, and in your mind forever. You'll feel better about this one day.

Anyway...keep ranting if you need to...we have enough bandwidth here if that's what helps you.

 

[RKW3]

Sucks. Stuff like this happens all the time, it's horrible.

Good luck overcoming this.

 

[GeorgeUK]

So sorry to hear this.

Wishing you every strength in this most difficult of time.

 

[IndieMe]

I'm so very sorry about this,

She looked like a beautiful person! inside and out.

She's in Gods hands, may she rest in peace... heaven gained an Angel.

Listening to Mad World by Gary Jules and reading this at the same time makes me so sad!

 

[Sideburns]

Oh just a tip. If you feel like you are actually depressed...and not just sad and stuff...go see a shrink/doctor/guy thinger....

When I broke up with my last girlfriend I lost 13 pounds from my then 126lbs body structure...113lbs isn't very healthy...

I just couldn't eat even if I tried...

I realized what was up, and I went to talk to somebody. I have no pride...I needed help. I gained back the weight plus 10 more pounds in about a month after I felt better and started exercising.

Do what you need to feel better.

 

[CSTUEDLE]

I'm honestly shocked that anyone even had the gall to actually sit there and question this thread, I know that I may have lied in the past, but that was not even close, not even close to this sort of a topic. Yes, we met in person, she was referring to the little time we spent together in person last summer before she left for college. We didn't become so close until she had left, and it was rather unfortunate that happened. I know that being with her for only a few months in a serious relationship doesn't seem like a whole lot, I get that, but we were close for a few years and we connected with each other like we never had with anyone else. I'm not one to get attached to people fast, so the fact that with her, it was quick really says far more about her than about me. And she was the same way. It seemed so perfect. And it really was. There were, of course, times where we didn't get along, but it was never anything we weren't past in ten minutes. When you talk to someone for thousands of hours about millions of things, to not disagree for more than a few minutes is a big feat. Our lives were entwined with one another's, we became dependent upon one another. The other being there to talk to and sleep with on the phone wasn't just a daily thing, it was the way the day was planned. It's hard to really explain what she meant to, and will always mean, to me. It's not easy for some people to grasp how I could get so attached to someone in such a short period of time. And maybe some of you will blow off our relationship since the best times of it were spent a thousand miles away. There are some connections that really transcend distance, and ours was that connection. This may sound stupid to some of you, and it sounds stupid to me too, but when she died last Wednesday evening, I saw it in my head. I saw a head-on collision, and I just knew she was gone. And when her mother told me the next day, when she told me how she died and when, it was exactly how and when I saw it. I am not one to think those sorts of things, like, believe in that kind of stuff. Anyways, to those of you who didn't question the validity of her death, thank you for your kind words of support and I know I'll get through this with the help of my friends, my family, and such. To those of you who had the nerve to ask me if it was true, I'm sorry I even allowed you to think such things, and I assure you, this is true, I wish it wasn't. I'd give anything in the world to have this all be a lie. But, it's not. She's truly dead.

jeremy, sorry for your loss.
this is a very caring group.........maybe by sharing more about what happened.........news link, obit, other pics,.......you will be able to share your grief with all the caring folks here. sharing is a good way to commemorate someone's life and love.
hugs, cat

 

[Big Bully]

Trent,
I know what it is like to be so involved with someone that there is no boundries inbetween you two. Granted, I'm not a teenager, I have been married for damn near a decade. But my relationship with my husband, was a quick starting, fast paced relationship. We dated for less than 6 months and were married.
It is possible to have a relationship where you meet someone who could be your "soul mate". You know that person inside and out, without even speaking. It's possible, it happens. But a relationship like that, doesn't just end when one of the partner dies. She still loves you, she is still around. Her body may be dead but her spirit lives on and will live on forever. She will be there when you need her, and she is probably watching over you now.
Love is and can be eternal, there is no boundries.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom what you are going through right now. I would be a wreck if I ever lossed my husband. I really don't know what I would do. But, through time it will get easier. You will probably never get over her, but the pain will ease, you will find someone else. I know they won't be her, and don't try to make them her. But don't shut the world out, I know she wouldn't want that for you. She would want you to be happy.
Take your time, ease your pain, talk to family and friends. And remember our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Be strong.