Battou you are your own worst enemy - this might sound harsh but I do mean that.
You have to break this mental view that you have with yourself and your hobby otherwise you will only serve to make yourself miserable - belive me I have seen this too many times! You work with children do you not? Well don't you offer support and encouragment to them - help them to choose the right path and so on and keep them enthusiastic?
Well you are past that level of a child so things are harder - you have to find that for yourself now - others can help, but your your own boss now and you have to find that in yourself otherwise the words and thoughts of others won't be able to help you (As much as others might wish to do so).
I honestly don't want to see you destroy yourself - its painfull but I can't help you out of this - I can offer words of support and encouragement and I can give my advice on your photography (as others can) but in the end you have to sitdown - look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself that determination. Tell yourself that your not a waste of space - that you CAN and you WILL!
Myself I have not picked an option from the three on offer in the poll -- I do grade myself to my own ideas of standards and I know that whilst I am not any good as some, that I am better than others and that I am working towards getting better than some also. I work at my own speed and though I would like to go a lot faster I can say that I have enjoyed the travel - its not about the destination nor is it about the journey - its about both together being the whole; and until I finish the journey I can't really say at what level I truly am at at this stage.
So I shall say that I am what I am and that others can make their mind up as to where that is on their own scales by looking at my work - I am proud of it all (well all the shots that worked at least
) and at each stage I worked to the best I could (most times) so I have no regrets.