What is an appropriate amount of time to have/be a guest?

[BillM]

As soon as the clock hits 0:00 and someone holds up a trophy it's time to go. Well at least that's the rule for today. Happy New Year everyone

 

[runnah]

Time for a talk with the matron/patron of the family. If it's the in-laws than make your husband do it. If he declines, call his manhood into question.

 

[weepete]

So 2-3 consecutive weeks a year IS considered excessive and I'm not over reacting?

Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty next year for putting a limit on the stay.

Depends: If I'm the guest, then until the beer runs out. If I'm the host, then please sling your hook and be gone by sundown.

Uh oh. DH works for a brewery, no wonder people never leave!!

Seriously?!!!

After the first week their **** would be in the dooryard with a sign saying "GTFO".

Seriously. Every year for the last 7 years. And "comany" doesnt like to help cook/clean/do dishes/ follow house rules. One of those items might happen 2-3 Times during the visit.

I'm burnt out.

Ouch, that's way excessive.

In my house they don't get a choice, tasks are allocated and everyone is expected to pitch in.

 

[photoguy99]

Depends on the culture. In mixed marriages it is quite common to run afoul of varying expectations.

Dunno if that's relevant here tho.

 

[Overread16 4]

I've a sure fire solution to this problem.

1) Purchase a film camera

2) Purchase some ducttape and black material

3) Make the spare room they stay in into a dark-room. Ensure that you fill it with chemicals so that it stinks - strip out all normal (ergo not red) lighting - make it a maze of string hanging negative reels and prints.

Result - they can't stay anywhere but the couch. Couches get lumpy after the first few days.



Although seriously if they are staying for more than a couple of days then yes they should darn well start helping with pitching in. Every family is different though and sometimes things change without people realising - or they do something that has "always been done" whilst being unaware of the problems it causes for another party (although in your case it sounds like you've been quite vocal about it).


The other option is to go on holiday during the appointed visitation of family - or as to go to theirs - or decide to "not have christma.....actually no that's criminal don't do that! :0

 

[Gary A.]

So 2-3 consecutive weeks a year IS considered excessive and I'm not over reacting?

Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty next year for putting a limit on the stay.

Depends: If I'm the guest, then until the beer runs out. If I'm the host, then please sling your hook and be gone by sundown.

Uh oh. DH works for a brewery, no wonder people never leave!!

You're going to heaven.

 

[JustJazzie]

Time for a talk with the matron/patron of the family. If it's the in-laws than make your husband do it. If he declines, call his manhood into question.

In his defense- they called and approved dates for us to get them from the airport that totaled 12 days- two days travel makes 10, I can handle that. Then they sent their itinerary with a flight booked for two solid weeks, on very inconvenient travel days/flight times.
Next year I JUST. CANT. DO. IT.

So 2-3 consecutive weeks a year IS considered excessive and I'm not over reacting?

Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty next year for putting a limit on the stay.

Depends: If I'm the guest, then until the beer runs out. If I'm the host, then please sling your hook and be gone by sundown.

Uh oh. DH works for a brewery, no wonder people never leave!!

Seriously?!!!

After the first week their **** would be in the dooryard with a sign saying "GTFO".

Seriously. Every year for the last 7 years. And "comany" doesnt like to help cook/clean/do dishes/ follow house rules. One of those items might happen 2-3 Times during the visit.

I'm burnt out.

Ouch, that's way excessive.

In my house they don't get a choice, tasks are allocated and everyone is expected to pitch in.

Tried it. Got a flat out "I am NOT doing that. my back hurts"

Depends on the culture. In mixed marriages it is quite common to run afoul of varying expectations.

Dunno if that's relevant here tho.

Not relevant here! ;-)

I've a sure fire solution to this problem.

1) Purchase a film camera

2) Purchase some ducttape and black material

3) Make the spare room they stay in into a dark-room. Ensure that you fill it with chemicals so that it stinks - strip out all normal (ergo not red) lighting - make it a maze of string hanging negative reels and prints.

Result - they can't stay anywhere but the couch. Couches get lumpy after the first few days.



Although seriously if they are staying for more than a couple of days then yes they should darn well start helping with pitching in. Every family is different though and sometimes things change without people realising - or they do something that has "always been done" whilst being unaware of the problems it causes for another party (although in your case it sounds like you've been quite vocal about it).


The other option is to go on holiday during the appointed visitation of family - or as to go to theirs - or decide to "not have christma.....actually no that's criminal don't do that! :0

As for the smells, we actually had to BAN them from bringing along anything with an odor. My son and I are very sensitive to things like that (asthma attacks for DS migraines for me) So then I would get to hear all about how i am a hypocrite. (Side note, I LONG for a dark room!! It was my favorite part about photography when I started. So cathartic)

Yes, quite vocal. Both DH and I. We've tried doing xmas at their place- guess who ends up in the kitchen? ;-) (granted, everyone else is content to live off of frozen pizzas so perhaps I have dug that hole myself?
As for another location- we would have to keep it top secret or we would end up with tag alongs. (Do not ask me how I know this, it brings up painful memories ;-) )

So 2-3 consecutive weeks a year IS considered excessive and I'm not over reacting?

Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty next year for putting a limit on the stay.

Depends: If I'm the guest, then until the beer runs out. If I'm the host, then please sling your hook and be gone by sundown.

Uh oh. DH works for a brewery, no wonder people never leave!!

You're going to heaven.

LOL! If only I truly believed in that place. ;-)

 

[SquarePeg37 8]

Unless it's your mom who can only visit with the grandkids once a year, I think anything over a week is an imposition. Of course this depends on the space you have available. If you have a guest room or in-law suite then a week is manageable. If they're putting someone in your house out of their bedroom or camping out in your den, then they need to get a hotel.

Just had a cousin visiting for 7 days. Love her and enjoyed the visit but was happy to have things back to "normal". She left the week before Christmas which made it ok. Overnight guests for a week including Christmas is a big NO for me.

 

[Rick50]

You have some of the most interesting threads.

 

[JustJazzie]

You have some of the most interesting threads.

Do I? :headscratch: Just be glad you dont live inside my head. ;-) Things get VERY interesting up there.

 

[robbins.photo]

(Barring special/unforeseen circumstances of corse.)

What do you consider to be an appropriate amount of time to stay with family for a visit?

(Don't inquire as to why I am asking, it's a can of worms I'm sure you'd like to leave shut ;-) )

15 minutes. Tops. Oh, and red wine goes best with canned worm. Lol

 

[snowbear115 47]

Jazzie's B&B . . .you have my sympathies. Next year, send them a price list, first. Make area hotels look real attractive.

 

[BillM]

Take all of the whips, masks, restraints and assorted other leather-latex paraphernalia and start hanging it on the walls in the guest room and tell them they are more than welcome to stay but they will have to vacate the guest room every night from 11 PM to 4 AM as that is "play time". Either they will stay at a hotel or you will have a much more "interesting" time during their visits

 

[JustJazzie]

(Barring special/unforeseen circumstances of corse.)

What do you consider to be an appropriate amount of time to stay with family for a visit?

(Don't inquire as to why I am asking, it's a can of worms I'm sure you'd like to leave shut ;-) )

15 minutes. Tops. Oh, and red wine goes best with canned worm. Lol

:giggle: I did feel pretty giddy last night when dinner wasn't received well. (Curry is one of those love it or hate it spices again) Perhaps next time we should go vegetarian on them. Im sure there are some healthy recipes that are just terrible out there, right?

No beer- Check
Bad food- Check
Its too bad I can't isolate bed bugs to stay in one room.
Perhaps scratchy sheets would do it? Or take the electric blanket off the bed?
I already hid the space heater. :Blush: (see, definitely not going to heaven)

 

[JustJazzie]

Take all of the whips, masks, restraints and assorted other leather-latex paraphernalia and start hanging it on the walls in the guest room and tell them they are more than welcome to stay but they will have to vacate the guest room every night from 11 PM to 4 AM as that is "play time". Either they will stay at a hotel or you will have a much more "interesting" time during their visits

Wait a second.... How do you know whats in my closet? :looks around suspiciously: I KNEW I shouldn't have given my address out for secret santa this year. You never can trust anyone on the internet.

 

[BillM]

Technically I stay the required 300 feet away if you are not home when I stop in for a visit