It looks ok to me, but I'd drop the reference to specific bands. I'm into a bit of rock music myself, and my son runs a music mag, and I've never heard of any of them. I'd stick with just using the term Rock Music, bands can go out of vogue very easily. What would your clients have thought if you'd had The Lost Prophets listed there? Good luck with it, I've tried and failed myself
I'm not worried about whether or not the bands I like are bands anyone has ever heard of, or if they're "in vogue". The Mars Volta isn't even a band anymore, Colony House is a band local to Nashville and one of my all-time favorite bands, Mute Math is not as mainstream as some other bands, but they have been on soundtracks and are more mainstream than some other bands I really like.
I wrote down some of the bands that I like, because that's part of who I am. Music plays a very large role in my life, and it's important to me, and helps showcase my personality. "Rock music" is too generalize. Am I talked about Nickelback, buttock? Led Zeppelin, classic rock? Menomena, indie rock?
I'm comfortable listing them out. I've had more bands listed out in my previous, way-to-long-to-get-through "about me page". This is simply a much more condensed version.
And for the record, I DID like Lost Prophets. In like high school. What happened with them is sh*tty, but I still listen to that album I have of theirs from time to time, because it doesn't change the fact that it was a huge part of my senior year of high school.

The bands I have listed aren't controversial in any way. If someone is refusing to book me based on the fact that they haven't heard of the bands I like, or because they don't like one of them... that's not my client, and therefore is not a loss for me.
I've also noticed that my idea senior client tends to have the same musical tastes as I do, so... even better for me.
I realize the parents are the ones paying for the service, but most of my clients have come from the *students* finding me either through their friends or a search and liking what I have to say, and how I work and photograph, and taking it back to their parents. Any of the *parents* that have found me before their kid, have come to me saying, "I think my kid would love to work with you because of XYZ", so they've always taken into consideration what their *kid* wants when booking me.
I *am* trying to find a nice balance here, but the fact of the matter is, I'm not worried about cutting off a certain demographic, if that's the case, because not everyone is my ideal client. I'm not aiming towards the masses. I'm aiming towards a specific type of person.
I don't want to work with the parents who are forcing their kid into something static or something they don't want to do. That's not fun for me, or the student. So if listing a few bands keeps the boring ones from contacting me... great. That's exactly what I want.
You're not exactly a newbie. You've been doing this for a while and have a portfolio to show for it. That should be mentioned in the first paragraph where you're setting the stage and giving your credentials.
I didn't give credentials because I don't have any. I never went to school for photography, never went to a workshop, never won an award, never apprenticed or studied with anyone personally... there's really nothing there to talk about. Maybe I might mention that I've been shooting for 5 years, but in some people's minds that's not even that long of a time, so I prefer to just avoid it all together. My portfolio speaks for itself. If they're concerned with whether or not I have a degree or how many years I've been shooting (because I know people who have been shooting for 20 years and are worse than I was in my first year... and I was pretty bad...), then they're not the person I want to book. They're in the same vein as the "price shoppers" as far as I'm concerned, haha.
Mentioning the process you go through in the second paragraph is good, but I'd consider rewriting it a little to be more chronological. Because at this point, the buying decision is "How is she going to make this work for us?" Letting them visualize the process a little helps in letting them know that you know what you're doing.
Next question may be "But how will I know my daughter/son/spouse/etc. will really look their best?" and the answer may be to give them a sense of your personality and your approach to doing the shoots. This section should include stuff that would allow people to feel that you're "one of them", so that you'll "get" what they want without a lot of effort on their part.
This is a very valid point... But it's SO extensively covered that it has it's own section on my site. I have "About Photographer", "About Senior Portraits", and "About Portraits" as all separate sections on my website (The last two need re-working and updating, so don't go bother peeking at those just yet because they will be changing. I just don't have enough time to rework the whole site all at once, so I'm doing it a bit at a time over the next week or so, haha).
But the long and the short of it is, yes, I go over my process, chronologically, in detail on the page specific to senior portraits.
I just want my "about me" page to be a small peek into my thought process.
And now the hook - what can you do that they can't get anywhere else. This is where testimonials from previous clients are really important, not necessarily for testimonial quotes, but for the things they say they enjoyed and appreciated the most from your sessions. Because those bennies (the positive experience) is the real product that you're selling. The pictures will be a confirmation of the positive experience.
Way ahead of you.
I have testimonials from clients that I need to upload to my site (which will also be it's own page), and I am about to send out surveys to my clients this past year as well.
Hope this isn't too long. Emily, your talent at shooting is obvious. Your prospective customers need to get that feeling as well.
Not too long, no. Sorry I broke it up the way I did. You just had a lot of good things to say that I wanted to address specifically.
Also thank you for the compliment.
