Be Careful With Ultimatums

KmH · Jun 11, 2018

Husband Tells Wife 'It's Me or the Dogs!' Wife Chooses Dogs, Ends 25-Year Marriage

waday · Jun 11, 2018

It definitely makes for a good headline!

Unfortunately, the story is pretty darn sad.

She's at risk at becoming an animal hoarder, if she hasn't already. I get it, it's a very noble cause--open a "sanctuary" for dogs with behavioral and/or medical problems and find them homes. It's such a nice thing to do.

But, she's already stating that she doesn't rest until very late at night, and she gets no time off. She started housing a homeless person. Now, she's getting evicted (not sure of the reason, but I'd speculate because a dog rescue was likely never in her lease with her landlord).

So, where does she go? And, more importantly for a dog lover, where do the dogs go? I truly wish her the best, and I hope she finds housing for the dogs. That said, based on the article, I think I understand the ultimatum.

RowdyRay · Jun 11, 2018

waday said:
Unfortunately, the story is pretty darn sad.

So, where does she go? And, more importantly for a dog lover, where do the dogs go? I truly wish her the best, and I hope she finds housing for the dogs. That said, based on the article, I think I understand the ultimatum.

Read that story the other day. Left me with the same feelings and questions.

480sparky · Jun 11, 2018

Maybe that's what he truly wanted.

RowdyRay · Jun 11, 2018

480sparky said:
Maybe that's what he truly wanted.

Good point. :indecisiveness:

vintagesnaps · Jun 11, 2018

The Express is a tabloid in the UK and this story only showed up in a search as going around on other tabloids. Who knows what really happened, the tabloids so often make up stuff.

Overread · Jun 12, 2018

Newspapers make stuff up, but often they just cherry pick bits of the story to missrepresent what is going on.

Personally I agree with waday and others in that the end of the article changes the story very significantly. It sounds like she is indeed becoming an animal hoarder and what was once a likely noble cause has drifted into something that has dominated their lives in a negative fashion. Spending every waking hour feeding and caring for injured animals every day of every week is very stressful. It's even more so if there's a high chance that the sanctuary wasn't bringing in much money; it could well be that every bit of money and time was getting spent on the dogs. Even more so if they don't own the site and thus have to earn enough to not only cover food, vet bills, medical costs but also rent.

Such a situation can become very stressful and very toxic to live in and can very readily overwhelm someone to the point that they would up and leave.

Of course a lot of this is guessing, we really don't know the ins and outs of the situation in any great depth to know the true facts. Even the animal hoarding and time spent might be being embellished or simplified upon to sound worse.

keen.observer · Jun 12, 2018

In every relationship one party wants, needs, loves, etc, more than the other does. Being on the correct side of the equation is what counts. If you are the needier, most in love, etc, you are at a disadvantage, and will be hurt more. Before settling into a long term relationship, find someone who needs, wants, and loves, you more than you need, want, or love him / her. That keeps you in the power seat. YOU can be the one to dish out ultimatums. YOU can be the one who leaves without regrets. If you want, need, or love, your partner more than he / she wants, needs, or loves, you then you are in for trouble, and heartache. It isn't romantic, but it is reality. Careful mate selection is the key to happiness.

compur · Jun 12, 2018

Good for him!

limr · Jun 12, 2018

keen.observer said:
In every relationship one party wants, needs, loves, etc, more than the other does. Being on the correct side of the equation is what counts. If you are the needier, most in love, etc, you are at a disadvantage, and will be hurt more. Before settling into a long term relationship, find someone who needs, wants, and loves, you more than you need, want, or love him / her. That keeps you in the power seat. YOU can be the one to dish out ultimatums. YOU can be the one who leaves without regrets. If you want, need, or love, your partner more than he / she wants, needs, or loves, you then you are in for trouble, and heartache. It isn't romantic, but it is reality. Careful mate selection is the key to happiness.

Wow. That's really really messed up.

compur · Jun 13, 2018

Reminds me of a song:

keen.observer · Jun 18, 2018

I don't make The Rules Of Life. I just follow them. I'm happier than those who don't.

limr · Jun 18, 2018

keen.observer said:
I don't make The Rules Of Life. I just follow them. I'm happier than those who don't.

Sure. Okay.

KmH · Jun 18, 2018

keen.observer said:
I don't make The Rules Of Life. I just follow them. I'm happier than those who don't.

Life has just 2 rules.
Rule #1 - Live.
Rule #2 - Die.

Human's have loads more rules.
Some humans follow the rules, and some don't.
Most humans follow most of the rules, most of the time.
It's impossible for a human to follow all the rules all the time.

Or are you referring to the book, now in it's 4th edition? The Rules of Life: A personal code for living a better, happier, more successful kind of life (4th Edition)