Girl Trouble

[480sparky]

If you love her, let her go.

If she comes back to you, that means no one else wanted her.

 

[jwbryson1]

How about offering her a $100 pre-paid Visa card for her troubles?

Or, what about switching teams and playing catcher for awhile?

Just sayin'...

(let the flames begin...)

 

[manicmike]

Best advice I can give is just move on. Don't bother paying her back. Just cut ties and move on.

 

[sm4him]

Well, it's been so long since I had a date, or even had a guy flirt with me, I'm not sure I remember anything about it--BUT:

1. Paying her back. If you were going to do this, it needed to be the VERY next day. By now, that train has left the station. On the other hand--did you TELL her you'd pay her back? If so, then DO it. It'll be awkward, and it won't make things a bit better, but if you SAID you'd pay her back, you gotta follow through.
2. I agree with Derrel about the lack of leadership you showed on the date. You had no cash--sure, you expected to use your card, but ALWAYS have a backup plan! Second, she drove--do you not own a car? Third, you were late to the movie--were you just not paying attention to the time? And fourth, and possibly most important: I suspect that, when the incident happened with the card, YOU, feeling bad about it, contributed *greatly* to the rest of the night being awkward.
So, let me give a tip: HUMOR goes a VERY, VERY long way to defuse an awkward situation. I'm not saying laugh it off and act like it was no big deal, but DO take it in stride.
3. RELAX! Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you really like this girl, and want a chance with her--just take it slow, but don't allow yourself to be relegated to the Friendzone (so THAT's what they call it these days, huh?). Send her a card just to say you're thinking of her. Leave a bouquet of flowers and some chocolate at her door--just find little romantic-but-not-overly-so gestures to say that you are interested in her as more than a friend. Then she will either warm up and go out with you again, or she won't. If she won't--well, why would YOU want a girl who isn't interested in YOU?

My oldest son tends to make his "girl of my dreams" choices based on one criteria: She seems to like me. But as I've told him over and over, if SHE does not see great value in WHO YOU ARE, then she is not right for you.
Sounds to me like this girl, so far, is missing the value of YOU. Find someone who will value you.

 

[412 Burgh]

Single life = More Photography Gear

I'm however in a committed relationship and she smacks me every time I drool over BH's website

 

[DGMPhotography]

I honestly wouldn't pay her back at this point. I think the damage is done. Didn't you have another credit card, or like Derrel said....some cash? I think first impressions are kinda important especially since it sounds like you were pretty keen on her. I don't know maybe I am old fashioned when it comes to first dates, but I would be kinda bummed too. Why was she driving and you didn't pick her up? If this would have happened on the second date it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal because you would have already established some creditability, but the first???

I don't have a car... Or license

 

[kathyt]

I honestly wouldn't pay her back at this point. I think the damage is done. Didn't you have another credit card, or like Derrel said....some cash? I think first impressions are kinda important especially since it sounds like you were pretty keen on her. I don't know maybe I am old fashioned when it comes to first dates, but I would be kinda bummed too. Why was she driving and you didn't pick her up? If this would have happened on the second date it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal because you would have already established some creditability, but the first???

I don't have a car... Or license

We better start another thread for this one. I would go get a license, a car, and then go get your girl! Or are you just really young? Maybe I am just assuming your older. Maybe you just turned 16? Heck if I know!

 

[DGMPhotography]

I actually just turned 20

My dad never let me get my license when I was younger. I should be getting my license in the next week or so, and a car shortly after.

So here's my plan...

Get the license, get the car. Just be cool in the meantime. Then leave flowers on her doorstep and see what happens from there.

 

[mishele]

I would say "no" to the flowers. Move on. Soooo many ladies out there, find one that feels exactly the same way you do.

 

[DGMPhotography]

Well, it's been so long since I had a date, or even had a guy flirt with me, I'm not sure I remember anything about it--BUT:

1. Paying her back. If you were going to do this, it needed to be the VERY next day. By now, that train has left the station. On the other hand--did you TELL her you'd pay her back? If so, then DO it. It'll be awkward, and it won't make things a bit better, but if you SAID you'd pay her back, you gotta follow through.
2. I agree with Derrel about the lack of leadership you showed on the date. You had no cash--sure, you expected to use your card, but ALWAYS have a backup plan! Second, she drove--do you not own a car? Third, you were late to the movie--were you just not paying attention to the time? And fourth, and possibly most important: I suspect that, when the incident happened with the card, YOU, feeling bad about it, contributed *greatly* to the rest of the night being awkward.
So, let me give a tip: HUMOR goes a VERY, VERY long way to defuse an awkward situation. I'm not saying laugh it off and act like it was no big deal, but DO take it in stride.
3. RELAX! Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you really like this girl, and want a chance with her--just take it slow, but don't allow yourself to be relegated to the Friendzone (so THAT's what they call it these days, huh?). Send her a card just to say you're thinking of her. Leave a bouquet of flowers and some chocolate at her door--just find little romantic-but-not-overly-so gestures to say that you are interested in her as more than a friend. Then she will either warm up and go out with you again, or she won't. If she won't--well, why would YOU want a girl who isn't interested in YOU?

My oldest son tends to make his "girl of my dreams" choices based on one criteria: She seems to like me. But as I've told him over and over, if SHE does not see great value in WHO YOU ARE, then she is not right for you.
Sounds to me like this girl, so far, is missing the value of YOU. Find someone who will value you.

1. I didn't promise to pay her back so I guess I won't be doing that. I'll just have to make it up with something awesome.
2. You are right, I do not own a car. We were late cause we here having fun talking, albeit (as you said) I was feeling a little bad so it's wasn't as great as perhaps it could have been. I like the humor suggestion... will have to keep that in mind.
3. Thanks. You're right, I will take that into consideration and formulate my master plan.

Thanks so much for the advice.

 

[SCraig]

1. I didn't promise to pay her back so I guess I won't be doing that. I'll just have to make it up with something awesome.

There is no power on Earth that could prevent me from paying that back.

 

[mishele]

You didn't offer in anyway to pay her back or make it up to her? layball:

 

[vintagesnaps]

Sounds like you asked her out but she ended up having to take responsibility for much of the date... I agree, I don't know that I'd offer to pay her back at this point, maybe you'll be able to think of a way to do something thoughtful and considerate for her instead. Or it could be that this just wouldn't have ended up being a good match and maybe it'll be best to move on and find someone else out there for you.

Hope you had a Happy Birthday today.

 

[amolitor]

Diagnosing relationships over the internet is one of the most futile acts ever.

You know the situation better than some bunch of twits on the internet. Follow your nose, don't be a *****, and don't lie to yourself.

 

[DGMPhotography]

You didn't offer in anyway to pay her back or make it up to her? layball:

I told her I'd make it up to her.