Girl Trouble

[runnah]

This your first rodeo cowboy?

 

[Tailgunner]

I actually just turned 20

My dad never let me get my license when I was younger. I should be getting my license in the next week or so, and a car shortly after.

So here's my plan...

Get the license, get the car. Just be cool in the meantime. Then leave flowers on her doorstep and see what happens from there.

Buying flowers is throwing good money after bad.

You're 20yrs old, living at home without a car or drivers license and have issues paying for dinner. I know that sounds harsh but that's the facts. Now with that said, I think this shows you a whole other side of this girl. She blew you off at the first hint of trouble. Anyhow, I think you should love and respect your self and move on. You have already tried communicating with her and without luck. If he wants you, let her come to you. FYI: You need a car for independence but I met my wife without a car, she would drive 8 miles one way just to pick me up...never asked or gas or anything...but I paid for the dates.

 

[cgipson1]

I would send her a link to this thread... at least she will get a laugh out of it!

 

[DGMPhotography]

This your first rodeo cowboy?

I've actually only had one other real date, ever.

 

[DGMPhotography]

I actually just turned 20

My dad never let me get my license when I was younger. I should be getting my license in the next week or so, and a car shortly after.

So here's my plan...

Get the license, get the car. Just be cool in the meantime. Then leave flowers on her doorstep and see what happens from there.

Buying flowers is throwing good money after bad.

You're 20yrs old, living at home without a car or drivers license and have issues paying for dinner. I know that sounds harsh but that's the facts. Now with that said, I think this shows you a whole other side of this girl. She blew you off at the first hint of trouble. Anyhow, I think you should love and respect your self and move on. You have already tried communicating with her and without luck. If he wants you, let her come to you. FYI: You need a car for independence but I met my wife without a car, she would drive 8 miles one way just to pick me up...never asked or gas or anything...but I paid for the dates.

Haha, tonight her and a bunch of other people surprised me for my birthday at a diner...... and wait for it.... SHE TRIED PAYING FOR MY SUNDAE.. Bahaha, I didn't let her slide this time though. She didn't really blow me off, and she acknowledged the fact and we're back to talking. Maybe there's still a chance, maybe not. I tend to over think things....

 

[The_Traveler]

If you've had only one other date, just got a license and a car, you have absolutely no conceivable reason to be looking for 'the one.'
Cut it out.
You don't have the emotional expertise or experience to do anything serious.
You should date a few girls very casually and learn how to handle life.
You are about 5 years behind the curve and falling in love or finding 'the one' is the absolute last thing you should be doing now.

 

[texkam]

Two observations:

I felt pretty bad, and when you're feeling bad you're not much in the mood to be awesome.

This was/is your downfall. She didn't need your "mood". She needed a positive, upbeat person. Even if you had the card problem and have no license and car, it's how you handle yourself that counts. No reason why this needed to keep you from being "awesome".

My dad never let me get my license when I was younger

Yikes! I suspect you're likely lagging behind your peers socially in other areas as well. She probably saw this and was uncomfortable. Nothing you can do at that point. Reflect, learn, grow.

 

[Gavjenks]

To the thread in general:
Um, I would like to point out that the OP never actually said that he PROMISED to pay, or that he was the one who asked her out, or decided on the restaurant, or any of that. So why the hell would you "pay somebody back" for something that you never actually owed them, after they've made it clear they don't want to date you? That's not a matter of morals or honor, and it isn't self-serving, either. That's just flushing money down the drain for no reason.



To the OP:
I see three possibilities here:
1) She doesn't want to date you because of the money stuff. If so, you might be able to pull off a second and subsequent dates somehow, but do you WANT to? Do you WANT a relationship that was brought back on track only because you proved you weren't actually poor? I wouldn't. If I'm looking for a long term relationship (or even short term. Anything other than a weekend fling), I want them to not give a damn if I'm poor!
2) She just doesn't like you as a person based on the first date. If so, you're screwed.
3) Both. You're doubly screwed.

Conclusion: Even if you could make it happen (#1) you probably wouldn't want to in the long term. So give up on her, and walk away. Even if she asks you out, I would move on.




Also, quoting and emphasizing for truth, The_Traveler's comment:

If you've had only one other date, just got a license and a car, you have absolutely no conceivable reason to be looking for 'the one.'

You will probably need at the very least a handful of 6 month or longer relationships before you know enough about women and yourself and yourself with women to have any chance of finding and keeping a partner for life. More likely, several 1+ year relationships.

 

[GaryT]

You need to relax about the whole thing, over thinking is the WORST thing you can do!!

Relax and make her laugh is all you need to do, if you over think everything when you are around her you will look like an idiot and come out with a lot of random, awkward sounding sh*t!
Dont get too concerned about a car, you could rock up in a lambo but if you are awkward around people it's still not going to get you anywhere. If she likes you she likes you, if she doesn't its far from the end of the world.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself dude, play it cool and see what happens. Don't worry about the outcome and just go and have a laugh.









If it doesn't work out you can always try bang one of her mates instead

 

[gsgary]

I honestly wouldn't pay her back at this point. I think the damage is done. Didn't you have another credit card, or like Derrel said....some cash? I think first impressions are kinda important especially since it sounds like you were pretty keen on her. I don't know maybe I am old fashioned when it comes to first dates, but I would be kinda bummed too. Why was she driving and you didn't pick her up? If this would have happened on the second date it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal because you would have already established some creditability, but the first???

I don't have a car... Or license

Do you also shoot Nikon

 

[C4n0n.Fan]

Treat them mean...It will keep them keen. I'm serious. If she thinks she can have you at the click of her fingers, she won't be bothered. If she feels like she's got to traverse hell and high water just to get you to acknowledge her, she'll suddenly find you more desirable than Johnny Depp wrapped in milk chocolate.
Girls crave, and are used to attention, so not giving them what they’re used to will puzzle them and make them want to know more about you and why you aren’t hanging on their every word. If you’re approaching a group of girls, pay more attention to the one that you’re not actually after. Make the other girls laugh.
Once she’s been treated mean and kept keen, she will start wanting to be looked after by the perfect gentleman. Trust me.

:badangel:

 

[amolitor]

Treat them mean...It will keep them keen. I'm serious. If she thinks she can have you at the click of her fingers, she won't be bothered. If she feels like she's got to traverse hell and high water just to get you to acknowledge her, she'll suddenly find you more desirable than Johnny Depp wrapped in milk chocolate.
Girls crave, and are used to attention, so not giving them what they’re used to will puzzle them and make them want to know more about you and why you aren’t hanging on their every word. If you’re approaching a group of girls, pay more attention to the one that you’re not actually after. Make the other girls laugh.
Once she’s been treated mean and kept keen, she will start wanting to be looked after by the perfect gentleman. Trust me.

:badangel:

This is the worst advice in the entire world. If you want to be extremely lonely, and in the very best case you'll wind up dating some needy damaged freak. The hell of it is, this is also extremely common advice, doled out by wannabee playahs who are, mostly, extremely lonely.

Cue "HA HA HA! I NAIL SO MANY CHIX0RZ" reply in 3..2..1..

 

[Gavjenks]

That advice will actually work on most people.
It also works to make people like you more by asking for lots of small favors from them and never giving anything in return.

...Lots of horrible things like that work to get you what you want with very few downsides, if you happen to be a sociopath.

 

[Dinardy]

Treat them mean...It will keep them keen. I'm serious. If she thinks she can have you at the click of her fingers, she won't be bothered. If she feels like she's got to traverse hell and high water just to get you to acknowledge her, she'll suddenly find you more desirable than Johnny Depp wrapped in milk chocolate.
Girls crave, and are used to attention, so not giving them what they’re used to will puzzle them and make them want to know more about you and why you aren’t hanging on their every word. If you’re approaching a group of girls, pay more attention to the one that you’re not actually after. Make the other girls laugh.
Once she’s been treated mean and kept keen, she will start wanting to be looked after by the perfect gentleman. Trust me.

:badangel:

 

[Braineack]

I don't have a car... Or license

AND you live in Richmond...things aren't going to too great for you.

:hug::