opinions please - would you do this wedding?

greybeard · Jan 18, 2012

I have done what they are asking you to do. It always ends bringing for free. I usually take the same shots I did when I was doing it for money, touch them up a little, burn them to a b cd and give them as a present. Let them deal with albums and prints.

LiquidGrace · Jan 18, 2012

1. If you're not ready then definitley don't take on something as important as wedding photos, even if it seems like the bride doesn't care.

2. I have had 3 family members who are getting married this year ask me to shoot their weddings. Of course they'd pay but to me when it comes to family I do not mix business and big family events like that. I want to enjoy the day with our family members over working a wedding. I have politely declined.

The thing that really bothers me is sometimes when you decline they put you on a guilt trip. If they do that then be straight with them about how much work it truly is and how much your time is worth. Many Brides don't seem to get past the 'snap shot' comment. Meaning they think photography is a click of a button. They really don't understand the work prior to, all of the scouting, PP and behind the scenes work that is done other then when their infront of the camera.

I unfortunatly had to adopt the no family and friends rule after learning the hard way. When you do a family friends photos they have big expectations and almost always expect special treatment. It also skews the line of personal friendship and business friendship.

I would just be honest with her even though it seems like she wasn't listening when you said "Hey I'm not comfortable doing your wedding.". If she wants it done 'as cheap as possible' then she should just gather all the photos from her guests (that after all is as cheap as possible) or she should scout out local photographers to see which ones match her budget. Hopefully she cares about the quality but from what you said her need is more budget driven then anything.

Or as others have suggested give her the actual price of what you'd charge. If she tries to talk you down or bargin ask her if she'd take less then minimum wage for her job.

sanderso · Jan 18, 2012

Mach0 said:
I was asked the same thing. Actually, I was volunteered to be the photographer for a close friends destination wedding coming up. I told them no. I wasn't paying to leave the country and work. Paid or not. This is a friends wedding and not only did I not want to be responsible for their memories, I wanted to actually see the wedding. I told them I would bring my camera for informals but that's it.

I wasn't asked ahead of time, but I was at a destination wedding last spring (in Mexico)...took the camera to get memories for me (the bride & parents are close family friends). Then I learned that the "package deal" purchased by the bride & groom included only 36 prints from the local "wedding package" pro! I respected the pro's space (easy since I don't speak spanish). The couple didn't have their own pro hired, so they asked for any/all shots from all attendees. I gave a full weekend of pix to the bride & groom. Wouldn't dream of taking $ (for this one or any other). It was an added wedding present which we both enjoyed: me in giving and them in receiving.

Interesting side point: a guest/relative attended from Australia...a commercial pro with some serious hardware. He also took shots all weekend. I couldn't wait to see his work...the work of a "real pro" capturing many of the same images as me. He does a lot of product work...and IMO it showed. Good shots, but with a perspective of shooting a product, not a wedding. (Maybe because he too was giving plenty of space to the local pro.)

Punchline: If the bride & groom want pix of their special event, tell them to hire a pro who's done it before...several times before. It's better for all involved.