The most terrifying words a photographer can hear...

[Overread]

So I need you to take my wedding photos.......




I mean its not AS bad as far as I can tell (related to me second hand by two very unreliable sources so I've not actually heard this news as yet it seems or something - I don't know women* go nuts around weddings it seems) as they've not ask for THE**** photos just SOME photos from the afterparty and something (I think - as mentioned the info is highly unreliable).


I mean its not like taking my camera is a BAD thing and having an official excuse might give me something to do other than making small talk to the handful of people I know at the wedding (and endless small talk to those I don't know) and might even get me out of being tormented about dancing** by random family members and stuff.

Though sadly I don't think I can use it as a "Go get more gear" excuse. I mean I need fullframe don't I - I've only got a 7D! I don't even own any primes (well barring my 35mm and 70mm and 65mm macro lenses but I don't think they count do they).....
Will I be allowed my HUGE ITS MASSIVE 70-200mm f2.8? Do you think they'll line up behind bars and wire cages at suitable distances to allow me to get good photos? Cause I can do lemur portraits in the zoo - that's doable with a 70-200mm (or a 120-300mm but that's too heavy after a day of WEDDING).

So that means 24-70mm f2.8 Tamron plus 7D plus maybe my flash

Wait will I be allowed to use the diffuser or will I have to confuse them by pointing it backwards?
WAIT I don't want to have to attend all those pre-wedding things -- does this mean I have too?


GAH! FAMILY.......






*ducks and covers
** they call it dancing; I think its more of an embarrassed/drunken shuffle once you're past 15 years old - unless you take lessons
**** GAH this means I'm not getting paid am I!

 

[tirediron]

Don't you have the flu that day?

 

[Overread]

Don't you have the flu that day?

I've been (reliably this time) informed that I'm not allowed to be ill/at work/in another country/dead/in prison/in the foreign legion.

 

[tirediron]

Don't you have the flu that day?

I've been (reliably this time) informed that I'm not allowed to be ill/at work/in another country/dead/in prison/in the foreign legion.

THAT sounds like a challenge!

 

[Overread]

Yeah plus the list of "not alloweds" is open ended so they can add to it!!

 

[terri]

Suck it up, soldier! No crying in photography! Take them pitchers!


Just tell them your equipment will give them some fine candids from the reception, but you can't promise professional results with B&G portraits, etc., due to gear limits. (Of course, if they decide to buy you more gear, then you're up a creek.)

 

[Overread]

but you can't promise professional results with B&G portraits, etc., due to gear limits. (Of course, if they decide to buy you more gear, then you're up a creek.)

but but
1) Gear limits won't cut any ice with that argument (thankfully I think they only want candids)

2) No chance of new gear unless I get it myself - no shame on them this wedding stuff is expensive

3) "you can't promise professional result" see I dunno if I can live with myself with such an argument!
Granted I'm not a pro anywhere else either but still - I can't lower myself to candid snapshots! (I mean I CAN but darn it I'd never make it through editing)

 

[tirediron]

3) "you can't promise professional result" see I dunno if I can live with myself with such an argument!
Granted I'm not a pro anywhere else either but still - I can't lower myself to candid snapshots! (I mean I CAN but darn it I'd never make it through editing)

Mehh... tell them you will do your best, and if they're not happy with the results, you'll cheerfully refund twice what they paid you!

 

[Overread]

Oh no I mean ME not them!
They'd accept that argument (technically they already have!) but its ME! Cause I'm the one taking the photos and then editing them and showing them and stuff!
*might be an imperfect aspiring perfectionist*

 

[pgriz]

Why don't you show them those disposable cameras, and say that due to the unfortunate concurrence of a solar eclipse and the alignment of Jupiter with Orion causing some very weird astral rays damaging your camera electronics, your usual gear is thereby non-functional and you will be doing the shoot with the aforementioned disposable cameras. If that won't get you off the hook, nothing will.

 

[snowbear]

"I'm terribly sorry but due to Brexit, my allocation of lumens has been decreased, and I don't have enough to photograph your wedding."

 

[dasmith232]

Originally, I avoided weddings like the plague based on what I heard from so many other photographers. Then I did my first one and ... I actually enjoyed it! I wasn't connected to anyone via friends or family, which made that easier. Then I did another and another. I enjoy the pace.

My two hints for surviving the day are:

First, equipment. Know your equipment inside and out, however much or little you have. If you know how to operate your camera quickly in the dark (or near dark) currently, then you'll probably be okay. This isn't the time to be searching through menus. Or starting out with a new body.

I also think that it's essential to have backup equipment for everything (bodies, lenses and flash). Not everyone who's starting out has the means for that. It looks like you're already thinking through that and you may have more questions for the forum coming up.

Second, people. As much as we focus on the proper gear, weddings are about managing people. That includes managing yourself, as well as the wedding party and the family. It doesn't mean that you're taking over and bossing people around, but being able to project an air of confidence that you know what you're doing. That relates to the point above: know your equipment. But being able to direct people during the pictures is a good thing. Unfortunately, that comes only with experience.

But a key thing with managing yourself is to keep moving forward. Knowing your equipment well will reduce that chance of appearing incompetent. People will judge you, and you don't want to give them a reason to judge badly.

Another key thing with managing yourself is how you respond to "people-crap". It didn't happen to me for the first couple of weddings, but being in the middle of a bride-mother meltdown 30 minutes before the ceremony is pretty awkward. Uh, yeah. REALLY awkward. And then watching all the smiles for the procession reminds me that a woman's mind is sometimes hard to predict. Huh? What just happened back there?

Being able to read the situation and letting things pass and then stepping in at the right time to suggest the right thing? Now that's an essential wedding photographer skill. More valuable than most of your camera gear. But that won't happen to you on this wedding!

 

[snowbear]

Originally, I avoided weddings like the plague

So did I when I was younger, but it had nothing to do with photography.

 

[limr]

My family knows better than to ask me for such things. They know I'd purposely wait for derp face and take those shots every time. Well, except my mother. To this day, she still thinks she can make a face and that I will not take the picture.

PS. I will always take the picture.

My sister's wedding, 20+ years ago:

 

[zombiesniper]

I just tell people that I shoot birds in flight.

If you're willing to toss the bride through the air.....I'm willing to take her photo.