Date idea... need advice?

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by footballfan993, Jun 1, 2016.

  1. footballfan993

    footballfan993 TPF Noob!

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    Furthermore, I have known her for about a year now, and she and another ex-coworker came over for a thanksgiving meal that I prepared for them.

    Also the purpose of this date is not for me to "get lucky". That's never my purpose on a date, especially the first one. I am a huge romantic person, and I love doing romantic gestures towards the person that I like.


     
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  2. robbins.photo

    robbins.photo Yup, It's The Zoo Guy Supporting Member

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    Ok, well now who's making huge assumptions? Lol. Seriously though, "getting lucky" wouldn't be my goal on a first date, in fact if she was the sort that I could get lucky with on the first date she wouldn't be the sort I'd want to be dating.

    However he did specify that they knew each other previously and had at least some sort of acquaintance, so my goal would be to make sure that she realized I was interested in not staying in the "friend" zone. His goal might be different, I don't know. But even if that isn't the goal, lets face it, I wouldn't even ask an astronomer to sit through Steven Hawking for 2 hours on a date.

    Yes, it is entirely possible she hates chic flicks. Haven't met a lot of women who do, so playing the percentages odds are good she probably won't. Honestly I've never been a big fan of a "movie" for a first date anyway, I prefer situations that encourage more conversation. Movies are more for the, ok were comfortable with each other already stage of dating as far as I'm concerned. But hey, could just be me. Plus I haven't dated since... umm... the late 90's? So ya, some of this might be a bit musty as far as advice is concerned.
     
  3. astroNikon

    astroNikon 'ya all Bananas I tell 'ya Supporting Member

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    Oddly, I never knew Stephen Hawking was married.

    but dates are those .. they vary dependent upon the 2 people.
    At least he didn't mention setting up his strobes in the bedroom ...
     
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  4. limr

    limr Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

    Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.
     
  5. gsgary

    gsgary Been spending a lot of time on here!

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    There won't be a second date, Go for a walk out in the country and just go with the flow and stop at a local pub for a pint and pub lunch, don't plan anything

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  6. gsgary

    gsgary Been spending a lot of time on here!

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    She will be gone by the time you want to stargaze, I'm falling asleep reading what you have planed

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  7. robbins.photo

    robbins.photo Yup, It's The Zoo Guy Supporting Member

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    I always preferred to go and do something other than a movie for first date. Mini golf, as one example - Sounds stupid, yes, but highly effective on a first date actually, you'd be surprised how fun it can be to watch a fully grown adult man completely confounded by a windmill. Fantastic conversation starter.. lol
     
  8. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Well, I will be different. I think the whole thing sounds charming. Since she's been over to your place before, knows you like to cook, and knows your family's ethnicity, the menu seems appropriate. I think it's thoughtful to have a backup menu if she really doesn't care for it.

    The walk, the whole easygoing idea of snapping some pics while in the park, is laid back and nothing that two friends couldn't do, so there's no pressure.

    I think the movie choice is a good one, too. Much better than mindless car explosions, machine guns or a fluffy romance.

    After that, though, I might be ready to call it a day. Staying up late to star gaze might be pushing it. You can have it as an option if you are having a great time and the mood is positive, and neither of you want the date to end. If it's like that, go for it! But be prepared to end the evening after the movie.

    If someone did all this for me, I would feel flattered, like I was worth more than crappy bar food. A second date would be welcomed.

    Again, all this hinges on the vibe between you. For your sake, I hope it's wonderful.

    Go for it! :)
     
  9. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Sounds like you'll make a great husband some day. :) Just keep it light and friendly in the beginning, and not try to force anything. Don't listen to the naysayers, romantic gestures can mean a lot.
     
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  10. robbins.photo

    robbins.photo Yup, It's The Zoo Guy Supporting Member

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    So what about two people starting a fluffy romance who are involved in a mindless car explosion and then strafed with machine gun fire....

    Oh wait, that actually sounds like my last first date. Umm.. never mind. Carry on.
     
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  11. footballfan993

    footballfan993 TPF Noob!

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    Unfortunately I can't simply go to a restaurant to get the Brazilian food, I would be cooking it all, because I'm like the only one that is Brazilian in my town, we don't have a lot of diversity here, the university that I go to is about 97% white. I'm probably like the only one in town that has Brazilian food.
     
  12. runnah

    runnah Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Not to make assumptions but have you had many dates or relationships? Because from where I am standing it sounds like that this may be your first date and or potential relationships.

    So anyways my advice, take it slow. Have a vague outline of things to do and places to eat. Have backup activities and locations in case one option doesn't work. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships.

    Also remember that women, while dangerous and mysterious, are also humans who like to have fun and relax. Treat her like a person and not something to be worshipped.

    If that fails, when stargazing ask her if she can see the Big Dipper at which point you whip "it" out.
     
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