Date idea... need advice?

[limr]

Yes, it is entirely possible she hates chic flicks. Haven't met a lot of women who do, so playing the percentages odds are good she probably won't. Honestly I've never been a big fan of a "movie" for a first date anyway, I prefer situations that encourage more conversation. Movies are more for the, ok were comfortable with each other already stage of dating as far as I'm concerned. But hey, could just be me. Plus I haven't dated since... umm... the late 90's? So ya, some of this might be a bit musty as far as advice is concerned.

As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.

 

[gsgary]

There won't be a second date, Go for a walk out in the country and just go with the flow and stop at a local pub for a pint and pub lunch, don't plan anything

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[gsgary]

Ok, so here's my reasons.

I planned everything regarding this, because she told me that she would like to be surprised. So I don't think I will tell her anything, until she gets here.

the reason for the walk, is just because it's be something to do, and we can talk while we walk, and we might see some deer, chipmunk, or other wildlife.

The choice for the Brazilian food was in part, because I am half Brazilian, and I want her to experience food that she most likely would not have experienced otherwise.

The movie choice "The Theory of Everything" isn't a movie featuring Steven Hawking, it is a movie about Steven Hawking and his relationship with his wife, so it is romantic.

I also picked stargazing, because it's something that I haven't really done before, but it would be cool to just lay in the grass looking up at the wonder above us.

She will be gone by the time you want to stargaze, I'm falling asleep reading what you have planed

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[robbins.photo]

As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.

I always preferred to go and do something other than a movie for first date. Mini golf, as one example - Sounds stupid, yes, but highly effective on a first date actually, you'd be surprised how fun it can be to watch a fully grown adult man completely confounded by a windmill. Fantastic conversation starter.. lol

 

[terri]

Well, I will be different. I think the whole thing sounds charming. Since she's been over to your place before, knows you like to cook, and knows your family's ethnicity, the menu seems appropriate. I think it's thoughtful to have a backup menu if she really doesn't care for it.

The walk, the whole easygoing idea of snapping some pics while in the park, is laid back and nothing that two friends couldn't do, so there's no pressure.

I think the movie choice is a good one, too. Much better than mindless car explosions, machine guns or a fluffy romance.

After that, though, I might be ready to call it a day. Staying up late to star gaze might be pushing it. You can have it as an option if you are having a great time and the mood is positive, and neither of you want the date to end. If it's like that, go for it! But be prepared to end the evening after the movie.

If someone did all this for me, I would feel flattered, like I was worth more than crappy bar food. A second date would be welcomed.

Again, all this hinges on the vibe between you. For your sake, I hope it's wonderful.

Go for it!

 

[terri]

Furthermore, I have known her for about a year now, and she and another ex-coworker came over for a thanksgiving meal that I prepared for them.

Also the purpose of this date is not for me to "get lucky". That's never my purpose on a date, especially the first one. I am a huge romantic person, and I love doing romantic gestures towards the person that I like.

Sounds like you'll make a great husband some day. Just keep it light and friendly in the beginning, and not try to force anything. Don't listen to the naysayers, romantic gestures can mean a lot.

 

[robbins.photo]

I think the movie choice is a good one, too. Much better than mindless car explosions, machine guns or a fluffy romance.

So what about two people starting a fluffy romance who are involved in a mindless car explosion and then strafed with machine gun fire....

Oh wait, that actually sounds like my last first date. Umm.. never mind. Carry on.

 

[footballfan993]

As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.

Unfortunately I can't simply go to a restaurant to get the Brazilian food, I would be cooking it all, because I'm like the only one that is Brazilian in my town, we don't have a lot of diversity here, the university that I go to is about 97% white. I'm probably like the only one in town that has Brazilian food.

 

[runnah]

Not to make assumptions but have you had many dates or relationships? Because from where I am standing it sounds like that this may be your first date and or potential relationships.

So anyways my advice, take it slow. Have a vague outline of things to do and places to eat. Have backup activities and locations in case one option doesn't work. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships.

Also remember that women, while dangerous and mysterious, are also humans who like to have fun and relax. Treat her like a person and not something to be worshipped.

If that fails, when stargazing ask her if she can see the Big Dipper at which point you whip "it" out.

 

[jcdeboever]

My last first date, I had bad gas, what timing. A couple slipped and she heard and smelled them....we ended up getting married.

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[table1349]

Surprise #1. You go to her, not the other way around. Even in this modern day and age Chivalry, contrary to what the hipsters may think, is not dead.

Surprised #2. Take that walk sans camera and do something that tends to be unheard of in the male world. Talk about her, get to know her, learn her likes and dislikes, hopes dreams etc.

Surprise #3. Take what you learned during your talk and surprise her with a dinner at a place that serves the foods she likes.

Surprise #4. If you go to a movie, make it the type she likes, chick flick, horror movie what ever or if she likes to dance go dancing.

Surprise #5. If you have a really nice late nite spot stop there on the way home, have a quiet drink, chat a little more.

Surprise #6. Walk or take her home, see her to her door. Don't expect or try to get invited in. Be a gentleman from the beginning to the end. If you want to see her again ask if you can call her then DO IT!

 

[runnah]

Pro tip: women like sex, a lot. Don't be afraid to make moves if the vibe is right. Not doing so can be even worse than trying and failing. Women, like men, are filled with insecurities and self-doubt so you not showing a physical interest might make her start doubting herself.

 

[limr]

As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.

Unfortunately I can't simply go to a restaurant to get the Brazilian food, I would be cooking it all, because I'm like the only one that is Brazilian in my town, we don't have a lot of diversity here, the university that I go to is about 97% white. I'm probably like the only one in town that has Brazilian food.

Again, why does it have to be all Brazilian from soup to nuts? You could bring some of the soda and pao de queijo for a little picnic during the walk and go for a different kind of dinner.

Going to your place with another person in a non-romantic situation is not the same thing as going alone on a first date. All I'm saying is to be open to the possibility that she might feel more comfortable in a restaurant. Be ready with a good restaurant option if she says she doesn't want to go to your place, because the last thing you want to do on a first date is to hem and haw about where to eat dinner. And I know she said to surprise her, but you might want to let her know of the time frame of the plan, because wherever you eat, it's a very long day.

However, given your responses, it seems like you like your plan and are sticking to it anyway, so might I at least suggest not serving beans on a first date? What with the possible unpleasant gastrointestinal consequences and all...

 

[vintagesnaps]

If she said to surprise her and you've known each other for some time, and she's been to your place before with a friend, then she must feel comfortable enough to have you make the plans for the date.

So what the heck, go with the Brazilian food but maybe since you're thinking of pasta in case she doesn't like what you make (which seems thoughtful of you), why not just make pasta as a side dish? Offer some choices so she can try something new, but doesn't end up feeling like she has to eat beans, lol or whatever the Brazilian dishes are, or have to tell you she doesn't like what you fixed.

It's different I think if you already know each other than a typical first date. It does sound though like a long time to go for a walk etc., then what does she do while you're fixing dinner? all afternoon and all evening seems a bit much. Maybe a camera or camera-less long walk would be better for a future date, maybe dinner then see if she wants to do some stargazing or watch a movie, etc.

And I don't know what that movie is but I started to glaze over reading the conversation, so unless you know she's into that maybe you should have more than one movie choice.

You're putting some thought into it which is nice, so I hope you have a fun evening.

 

[gsgary]

Act like a lapdog and she will treat you like a dog and walk all over you

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