Is Your Significant Other A Foreigner? Do You Speak His/Her Language?

[Peeb]

I am from Mars.
My bride is from Venus.

So, YES- there are indeed language barriers.

Here is an example:

If asked, "How's it going?", there are very different protocols if the response is "Fine"...

If I say 'fine' it means that everything is fine.

If Mrs. Peeb says 'fine' it MIGHT mean everythings fine IF:

• The tone of her voice
• The expression on her face
• The sequence of event of her day, to that point
• My conduct, to that point
• Other intangible factors (as yet, undiscernible to my dull senses)

Suggest that everything really is fine. After 32 years of marriage, I have learned that I'm (maybe) about halfway there in achieving the nuance necessary to really effectively communicate.

Adding linguistic barriers to that equation? Now THAT would be exciting.



Blessings and best wishes to all who work thru that.

 

[smoke665]

that I'm (maybe) about halfway there in achieving the nuance necessary to really effectively communicate

Sorry Peeb, it's only an illusion, like a mirage in the desert. 40 years down and that oasis of understanding just keeps moving away.

 

[limr]

Y'know, enough already. The thread is about learning other languages, not about gender or differences between how men and women speak.

For the record, those factors are in consideration no matter who is speaking. Context and body language is important no matter who is speaking to whom.

Give.It.A.Rest.

 

[Derrel]

I speak Spanish relatively well, and speak it every single day at work. I can read Spanish fluently and easily. My accent is decent. I cannot understand spoken Spanish (vocabulary limitations) as well as I can speak it, or read it. I studied it for about eight and a half years, from ninth grade, then in high school,and then into university for three years. In the past, I have had two girlfriends who spoke Spanish as their native language; one was from Ecuador, the other was from Mexico.

 

[birdbonkers84]

I would love to learn a new language, especially Norwegian mainly because a good chunk of my family are from Norway. A few years ago we attended my cousins wedding over in Sweden and the whole thing was in Norwegian/Swedish and me and my brother and sister didn't understand a word >.<

There is also Italian as well, being 1/4 Italian myself. My mum regrets not learning it more in depth from my grandad, she was 1 of 10 children.

I guess I should probably learn Doric being from the North East of Scotland, but I just don't like the dialect.

 

[smoke665]

Many years ago (before cell phones) I had a driver call me from a pay phone at a dock in Chicago. He was raging mad because he couldn't make the Vietnamese people on the dock understand him. I tried to calm him down but before that could happen he dropped the receiver and started raging at the dock hands. I just knew the police where going to be called, because I could hear him shouting cuss words that would make a sailor blush. Suddenly it got quiet, the driver picks up the phone, tells me to "never mind i taught them to speak english".

 

[waday]

While my wife is a citizen, born and raised, and both of her parents are now citizens, her mother is Ecuadorian and her father is Palestinian. My wife speaks English, Spanish, and Arabic. She knows some Italian and French.

I know enough Spanish to get by, and if I found myself trapped in the middle of a Spanish-speaking country, I could manage my way home (probably, hopefully). I managed to order myself vegetarian meals when we traveled through Ecuador. (But, my wife did all of the work there.) My wife's uncle and I had a funny conversation, because I could understand his Spanish, and he could understand my English, but neither of us spoke the other language to each other. My wife got a kick out of that.

Arabic is completely different, and I have an extremely difficult time understanding, saying, and retaining it. It takes practice just getting the words right, then if you ask me five minutes later, I can't remember where to put the emphasis in the words (if I can even remember the words).

Also, I just met someone from my wife's father's side of the family at a wedding who came to US for the first time from Palestine. My wife sees the guy walking toward me and says, "Just so you know, he doesn't speak any English outside of a few words." He walks straight up to me, shakes my hand, and emphatically says, "Hi Wade! How are you? YOU ARE A PALESTINIAN, WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!"

 

[Cortian]

One of my strangest examples from Duolingo
Recently I learned how to say “I am in the witness protection program.”

Hmmm... "All my family died..." Mijn hele familie is gestorven.

Here's one of those interesting "language" things. The above translates to "My whole family has died," while "Mijn hele familie is dood" translates to "My whole family is dead," which is a different sense, changed by the adjective, rather than the verb.

The most astonishing thing Duolingo has given me has been "Jouw schildpadden dragen kleren," which means "Your turtles wear [are wearing] clothes." I think it also came up with "Je koe draagt schoenen": "Your cow wears shoes"

My wife is sitting across from me as I take one set of lessons in the evening. Sometimes, when either I or the tablet speaks a Dutch phrase she looks up and says "What?!?!"

In a philosophy class I was teaching we were considering Wittgenstein's idea that to know a language is to know a way of life.

That is most definitely true. E.g.: Dutch humour went entirely past me until I learned something of the language. Then, suddenly, one day I found myself amused at it. Subsequent to that I read that two ways to tell if you're beginning to "get" a language: 1. You begin to understand the culture's humour and 2. You begin to dream in it.

I would love to learn a new language, especially Norwegian mainly because a good chunk of my family are from Norway.

Duolingo

 

[petrochemist]

At all?

What brought this up was this comment by @BrentC:

My wife is Portuguese as well. She grew up on Terceira in the Azores. So I got the language covered, or at least she does.

That sounds familiar.

My wife is Dutch. I spent a good amount of time in the Netherlands forty years ago, when we first met, and became more-or-less "conversationally fluent," but haven't used it since. We've been married over 25 years, but we speak English in the home, so... I know some phrases, and can pick some stuff up, but that's about it.

We're going to the Netherlands the end of next month. I'm currently taking two on-line courses twice a day to try to get back to at least conversational ability by then. I don't need to. English is spoken widely there. I want to. TBH: I'm mildly embarrassed I don't know the love of my life's native tongue.

I hoping I can stick with it after I return and become entirely fluent. It is said learning a language is good for the brain. One of the things that can help ward off or slow down dementia. I've also read knowing more than one language makes you smarter and able to more easily learn new things.

I took two semesters of Spanish in high school and a semester of French just before that trip to the Netherlands forty years ago. Spanish would be handy. French I think is the most beautiful language. If I stick with it, become thoroughly fluent in Dutch, perhaps I'll pick up French and/or Spanish again.

Btw: My wife was, at one time, fluent in Dutch, English, German, French and Spanish.

My wife is more English than I am, my father is Dutch. But he's never been resident in NL and can't speak the language beyond the barest basics.
The language problems we have at home are the typical male/female differences, where any noise from me is taken to mean approval of her position, even if I didn't hear her, and of course with the kids where any question to my eldest is likely to be answered 'Yeh'.
'What did you do today?' 'Yeh'
'Can you tidy your room?' 'Yeh'...

We thought it meant yes, till the second example came up!

 

[pjaye]

my wife is Canadian so all i had to do was familiarize myself with beer, hockey, and curling.

And Mississauga.

 

[Dean_Gretsch]

my wife is Canadian so all i had to do was familiarize myself with beer, hockey, and curling.

And Mississauga.

Don't forget that French gravy stuff!

 

[chuasam]

My partner is British so her English is pretty understandable.

 

[Sabber]

I know a few languages, but basic expressions such as "Hello, will you not mind if we speak English, because I do not know this language well?" I can tell.

 

[weepete]

My Mrs comes from 3 streets away from my mum and dad's house xD. I'm 1/4 Italian, but unfortunatley my granddad died before I was born so I've only ever known english. Apparently we have some other family around that have more of a connection with their roots but we lost contact long ago. I've a really heavy Glaswegian accent anyway and my fondness for slang and Scots means that I'm barely understandabe to anyone without an educated ear when I'm speaking english!

 

[limr]

My Mrs comes from 3 streets away from my mum and dad's house xD. I'm 1/4 Italian, but unfortunatley my granddad died before I was born so I've only ever known english. Apparently we have some other family around that have more of a connection with their roots but we lost contact long ago. I've a really heavy Glaswegian accent anyway and my fondness for slang and Scots means that I'm barely understandabe to anyone without an educated ear when I'm speaking english!

When I was living in Istanbul, I went to see Acid House which depicted several loosely-connected vignettes set in Glasgow. I did eventually get the rhythm, but it took me half the movie to do so. In the meantime, I had to read the Turkish subtitles in order to follow the English-language dialogue

The Acid House (film) - Wikipedia

Edit: Forgive me, I misremembered. They were apparently set in Edinburgh.